Today I am back to my Jesus study that most of my entries have come from. The inspiration author today is Charles Swindoll. I have such fond memories of listening to Chuck Swindoll on the car radio whenever I would travel with my mom. She loved Chuck Swindoll! As a kid I wished we could listen to music or ANYTHING other than some guy talking about God. I wasn't an overly spiritual ten year old! It really seemed like he was on every time we would go anywhere and the radio was always static-y. I always wondered how she listened to such static. As I have grown I learned that my mom had such a hunger for being taught about God she didn't mind a little static. I won't go into the details about Chuck Swindoll, but highly recommend you look him up. His radio program is called Insight for Living. We all need some insight, right?!
February 22nd is a very memorable day to me. February 22nd, 2011 lives in infamy to me. On February 22nd my dad called and said mom does not have much time left. I was scheduled to fly to Ohio on the 23rd. In the course of a few hours me and Eli's flights changed and was on board to fly to Ohio. I talked about this quite sometime ago in another blog. As we sat on the plane from Augusta to Charlotte I hoped we could make the connection because it was a tight one. My stomach churned and heart beat fast. I begged God to allow our flights to run smoothly and be on time. We even had the back seats on the tiny plane and I knew getting out would take time. Looking back I should have asked to be moved up. At any rate, I literally thought about running over 100 people to get off that plane so I could catch the next one. Once off the plane in Charlotte I ran at full speed pushing a toddler in a stroller and carrying two bags and of course a big stuffed horse named Floppy. "Please God, hold that plane," I pleaded.
We made it to the next gate just in time to board the plane that would take us from Charlotte to Dayton. My in-laws were awaiting our late night arrival in Dayton. My mother-in-law, Lou Ann, lost her mom to cancer at an early age so she fully understood what I was going through. I have thanked God for Lou many times for many reasons, but one big one for me is that she 'gets it.' I think I thanked Him about 150 times in a five minute window for allowing us to make that connection! I desperately wanted her to hold on...even though I thought I said my good-byes a few weeks earlier when I was home for my grandmother's funeral. I learned quickly you are never ready to say good-bye to your momma. I needed one more. As I sat on the plane I had many thoughts go through my head. One was how I would manage if I missed her, if she died minutes before I arrived. Another was that you never know what someone is struggling with. I'm sure other people on that plan saw Eli and myself and thought, "there is a nice mother and a cute kid...wonder if they are going to see grandparents?" I bet some people even thought I was rude as I raced past them hauling all my gear. Heck, I probably even unintentionally bumped a few people with my backpack as I ran.
Wow, so I never did get to my blog entry today! Our pastor in Cincinnati would do a similar thing. He would preach this incredible sermon. I mean one of those memorable sermons. At the end he would inform us that was not his prepared sermon and we would have to attend next week to hear the planned one! The Spirit moved him in another direction and I guess that is what has happened to me tonight. I do not have any huge revelation tonight other than we must be compassionate and slow to judge. You just never know what someone is dealing with. The other day I was behind a car that slowed and turned without using their turn signal. Heaven forbid! I was so offended at first! Did they NOT know I, Anna Limbird, was behind them?! A second later I thought to myself maybe they just found out they had cancer. Maybe their baby was just diagnosed with leukemia. Maybe they just lost their job and had no idea how they would feed their family or pay their rent.
As I close tonight I reflect on the last year. It held great pain. This is the kind of pain that takes your breath away and literally makes your heart hurt. I would be lying if I said I do not feel that degree of pain anymore. At times I do and those are the times I cry and desperately miss the most important woman in my life. The pain does not last forever and in those precious times I see God's grace. I hear His ever-so-quiet voice reminding me of the person I have become over the last year. Let's challenge each other to be more loving, compassionate, and patient.
To all of those people out there that have been on this journey with me I thank you. I thank you for your shoulders to cry on, ears to listen, loving voices, and of course, prayers. I thank you for all the wonderful memories you have shared of Mrs. Dinah Kruse. I am thankful for your love, compassion, and patience.
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