Hi all! I have missed chatting with everyone via my blog. I can't believe the last time I checked in was February! I remember clearly we had a giant snow storm and today it is 84 degrees outside! My winter/spring ended up being super busy. Between homeschooling Eli and working at Bailey Quarter horse farm I didn't have much down time. I absolutely loved homeschooling Eli AND I enjoyed working at the farm also. Hollywood celebrities do not excite me. I have horse celebrities and One Hot Krymsun is definitely one of them...I absolutely loved grooming him. He especially likes being vacuumed. Anyway, I'm so happy to be doing this entry.
I have had the idea to do this entry for quite awhile now. I am not sure if this was mentioned in any of my previous blog entries, but I had plans to show Jessie this spring/summer. We worked really hard all winter taking lessons from Jamie Watson (the Trail guru extraordinaire) and practicing our lope overs, backthroughs and boxes for hours. Jessie ended up getting injured somehow and could never get sound. This was fairly devastating to say the least. I was so incredibly disappointed.
On another topic my hormone situation had been very stagnant all winter. I hadn't felt worse, but I hadn't felt better. So many symptoms were still around. Honestly, I had been at the end up my rope many times before yet somehow my rope just kept getting longer and longer. There has been many of a prayer session that just was silent because my words have dried up. God knows I want to get better...how many times can I ask Him?! So by the time spring rolled around I just didn't know what to do anymore. My doctor's plan was just not working for me. Here is the medication schedule I was on...excuse me I'll be right back. I am going to pound my head against a concrete wall!
before breakfast- two thyroid medications
8 a.m.- oral testosterone (or topical application), daily vitamins, estrogen gel
noon- oral testosterone (or topical application), estrogen gel, thyroid medication
2 p.m.- estrogen gel
4 p.m.- oral testosterone
8 p.m.- estrogen gel
before bed- p.m. vitamins, estrogen gel
* change my estrogen patch every day
* we even tried muscular injections
Seriously. My phone alarm was going off constantly. I began to think there has got to be another way plus I still wasn't feel very good. A person can tolerate about anything if they see results which I wasn't.
I am not sure where the idea was introduced to me about asking God to surprise us. Instead of praying to God and asking for the things you think you want or need the concept is to allow God to surprise you with what He wants for you. There is even a book written about it. I ordered the book and to be honest, I didn't love the book. The concept intrigued me though so around January I began to pray this prayer. It's a bit risky. What if He wants something for me I don't want. I mean it could happen, right?! Nothing really seem to be happening. I still physically felt lousy. Jess was not improving despite trying many different treatments. She would get sound so I thought and each time I would try to ride her she would be off the next day. Ugh. I can't exactly remember the time frame for what was about to unfold.
A friend of Becky Bailey's (owner of Bailey QH and One Hot Krymsun) came to board at the barn in February. He boards at her place for a few months each winter so he can began to get his horses back into shape for the upcoming show season. The horse he brought was named George. Becky had talked a lot about the horse before and I met the owners briefly at another show. They seemed like super great people. I was definitely impressed with George's show record! Jimmy let me ride George one time at the barn because he knew Jessie was unsound. We actually got along pretty well. Fast forward a few weeks and it appears that maybe I could ride George on a regular basis. Jimmy is a crazy good teacher and I love his wife, Sandy. There was a big blaring issue though...I could not turn George for the life of me. We would lope into the corner and stop each and every time. For some reason, Jimmy kept letting me ride George and helping me learn how to ride him. Sandy was also really supportive and kind. For about two month straight I rode George and could not turn him!
After talking and talking Jimmy, Sandy, and I worked it out that I could lease Georgy. Oh about May I began to be able to turn George. Come to find out my heels were slid back a bit too far. So every time I would ask him to turn he would swing his hip over! Words can't really explain what it has been like to ride and learn on George. Jimmy is a very gifted teacher and Sandy is excellent at helping me get ready and giving me directions in the pen. She and I also have a really good time together! I have grown to love George like he is my own and they have been incredible about making me feel like he is my own. As the months progressed it dawned on me that the opportunity with George came on the heels of my "surprise me" prayer I prayed every day for months and months. I never put the two together until somewhat recently. We have been able to travel all over showing AQHA. George and I have done really, really well together. We had a great show this past weekend...the best yet. Being able to ride and show George has truly been an honor and gift from God. I fully recognize God orchestrated this relationship. I dearly love Jimmy and Sandy also and am thankful for the impact they have had on my life. They have taught me about generosity, kindness, and encouragement. The amount I have learned about riding has been amazing. Fortunately I am able to ride George three to four days a week. There is nothing that can replace time in the saddle. The show pen experience is like none other also. I promise you, showing a Western Pleasure horse is INCREDIBLY difficult. There are about 1,395 things going through my head during one given class. I am thinking: keep my legs on him...not too much or else he will stop, keep his head tipped slightly to the left, do I lope now or wait until the horse in front of me goes, his jog is a little faster so I have to really plan ahead, USE THE CORNERS, trust his slow lope, shoulders back, chin up, why are there so many other horses in this class, oh my gosh the horse in front of me kicked the fence, I just got cut off, I hope I don't cut someone else off...OMG, I think I might throw up! The one constant though is that I can spot Jimmy and Sandy on the rail calmly helping me. They might not even realize the impact that has on me. So onward and upward Giorgio de Krymsun and I go! The sky is the limit for the two of us!
Another interesting and unexpected thing that happened was that we bred Jessie in March. I had literally dreamed of being able to do this from the time I got her as a baby. She is a lovely mare and has so many positive features. She is extremely well bred, talented, beautiful, and so so sweet. She is the kind of mare that should have a baby. Roughly ten years ago my mom and I watched Jet (One Hot Krymsun) win the Western Pleasure Maturity at the Congress. We were both just wild about him. It turned out after the Congress in October Jessie was going to live at Bailey farm where OHK stands. I really had no intention of breeding her since she was going to show another year. I guess in the back of my mind was the thought of breeding her next year. She is 15 though and a maiden mare. I knew it could be harder to get her into foal. So when we couldn't get her sound my husband agreed to trying to breed her. Becky is so knowledgeable on this so I knew if anyone was going to get her into foal it was going to be Becky. Becky has become a dear, dear friend to me also. Eli loves her so much. Jessie caught on the very first try! I still remember when Becky called me to tell me the good news. I got goose bumps all over and got choked up. This was a dream come true. I couldn't help but think how overjoyed my mom would be. "God surprise me," I prayed day after day for months before. Coincidence? I think not.
Okay, back to my health dealio. In early April I came across a book written by a doctor in St. Louis, Missouri. When I read the description I just knew I needed the book. I found Dr. Vliet by first reading her book. This new doctor offered a completely different way of treating women (mostly who have had hysterectomies or have gone through natural menopause). She implants tiny hormone pellets into the hip region. Crazy. This means no more gels, patches, or pills. The hormones are released as the blood flows by. This all sounded so intriguing to me. In my usual tendency I researched this method for weeks on end. What interested me so much was the ease of use and the positive way the body responds to hormones that do not pass through the liver first or the skin. Hormones change form as they pass though and become a different substance that has negative side effects. Dr. Maupin's book was eye opening in many ways. David and I had a long talk and decided it wouldn't hurt to try this new treatment!
I called the doctor's office for additional information. They prescreen each person with an in depth questionnaire and evaluate your case by having blood work done. A few weeks later the office called and said they would like to see me! Oh my! The downside?! They couldn't see me for three months!!! How devastating. What could I do though? Pray and pray for a cancellation. I did this off and on then one week in May I decided I was going to really buckle down and pray for a cancellation to come in. My sister prayed. David prayed. My two closest friends prayed. One day in late May the office called and asked if I could make it to St. Louis in three days. So Dave and I loaded up the car (and Eli) and hit the road. My nerves were screaming because just three years ago we flew to Arizona to meet another doctor. How could God be taking me in a different direction?! What if this treatment doesn't work? The what ifs were filling my brain. The rawness of my emotions were numbing in a way. Questions were spilling over into my prayer time. I felt a peace in the midst of the chaos in my heart. I couldn't help but feel SURPRISED that God was taking me down this new and unexpected road.
My initial appointment was truly one of the best days of my life. Dr. Maupin really picked up where my other doctor left off. She heard me. She comforted me and most of all...she had been where I was. She listened to my words and didn't judge me from the outside appearance. Words can't really express what it felt like to sit across the table from this extraordinary woman. The procedure was quick and easy and not too painful. The worse part was probably not being able to ride George for three days! The nurse that completed my procedure stressed to me that the first insertion rarely hits the nail on the head. The insertions are done every four months or so. It often takes two to three before a person is asymptomatic. Basically she was stressing to me to be patient. The first thing I did was delete all my stupid phone alarms! All I take now is my thyroid medication! What a treat. I have felt an incredible freedom by not having to take all the medications throughout the day.
My appointment was June 2nd. I do not feel awesome yet and can clearly still pinpoint some issues. Of course I would prefer that the doctor got it all exactly right on the first try, but I know that's not reality. There have been some issues improve though and I will force myself to keep my mind on those positives. I know without a doubt my "surprise me" prayer caused this series of events to unfold. I know without a doubt God is working in an unexpected way. There could be no possible way I would have known to pray for such a thing to happen. I was praying that my old routine would work. Yet God had something better for me so it is quite possible His saying no to that was opening the door for something even more freeing. Why couldn't I have not gone though the other stuff though? That is a good question and one we all have at one time or another. Even Jesus asked such a thing in Luke 22:42. Jesus asked God, "if You are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but Yours be done." Basically Jesus is asking God to accomplish the goal by another avenue. I guess that is what I meant by wondering if there was another way to get me to my goal of good health. Whenever I ponder these types of questions I refer back to Isaiah 55:9. Unfortunately this verse has become one of those over used, cliché type verses, but it holds such power. It reads, "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." The bottom line is this. No one knows why God does what He does when He does it. If we could figure all this out with our human brains than He wouldn't be God, would he?!
I don't believe there are any magic prayers. There is no prayer we can recite that will get God to give us what we want. Honestly I have come to believe God values simple, heartfelt prayers. Believe me I am far from an expert at praying. The funny thing is that the longer I walk with God the simpler my faith life becomes and in turn the simpler my day to day life becomes. He uncomplicates life. Two of my favorite Bible verses are Romans 8:26 and Romans 8:34.
Romans 8:26) In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us though wordless groans.
Romans 8:34) Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
Is it possible that I put too much emphasis on asking for what I want? Yes. It is done out of the desire to control my own life. It is done because I am too scared to tell God to have at it...give me what He wants. What if He wants me to sell all my belongings and head to the Congo to be a missionary?! It is an extreme example, but a true one nonetheless. God wants me to share my heart's desires with Him, but they shouldn't come and replace a prayer for God to give me what He wants me to have. There is room for both in our prayer life. In my case I was really just doing a little experiment to see what would happen. What happened was three occurrences that I could never have even imagine coming true. Heck, I didn't even know such amazing things were a possibility.
So what's stopping you from praying "surprise me" prayers? Really think about it. Really evaluate your own heart. What is interesting is that I haven't prayed that prayer in a long time. Why? I am scared to really. I am ashamed to say that because He gave me three unexpected gifts. I didn't even know to ask for these gifts! After typing out this blog I am encouraged to pray that bold prayer and see what God has in store for me. Stay tuned!
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Blessings, Blessings, and More Blessings
What do you think of when you hear the word "blessed?" It is sort of a Christian buzzword these days. I am pretty sure this happened about the same time as Twitter and thee ole hashtag. We have all read the laundry list of good things or the perfect picture posted on Facebook followed by the typical #soblessed. I don't mean to ruffle feathers and I know I've been guilty of doing such a thing. Is it even a bad thing to do? I don't think it always is, not by any stretch. I do think it is a dangerous claim to make. Let me explain a bit more and hopefully you walk away from reading this with something to think about and not just the thought that I'm being judgmental or jealous. Remember just a bit ago I said I have done the exact thing I am referring to. I also want to be clear that I do not have all the right answers nor am I some kind of Biblical scholar. Hopefully we can all learn something here.
In preparation for today's blog topic I did quite a bit of reading. I read articles on the topic and I studied God's word. I have a regular prayer that God will help me understand Him. My mom taught that I must be wise and discerning. Heck I even read the dictionary. What a wealth of good information that dictionary has! Anyway, here we go!
When I see posts on Facebook or hear people in conversation say something like, "I am so blessed...I beat cancer" or "I am so blessed with these amazing kids" I wonder. I wonder about the people that weren't blessed by beating cancer or the families that were left behind when their loved one dies of the dreaded disease. I wonder about the parents who are not sleeping at night because they know their wayward teenager is out making horrible decisions. I wonder about situations like that. I also think of the new Believer who thinks God will #bless them if they start following Him yet their husband still has an affair and leaves them or their child still needs chemotherapy. I guess I am thinking out loud here. Remember I don't know the answers to these questions. Why are some blessed with the new, gorgeous house yet others live in trash dumps? Some people are blessed by a booming business yet another is struggling to even make it despite their faithfulness to God or their regular tithe check. The Bible says His ways are not ours and His knowledge is above ours. He allows things we do not understand to occur. Only He knows what is going on at the heart of a situation. I think maturing in faith is crucial. I think we have to dig into some deep things to really get to know God. Believe me sometimes I want to be really shallow and just think about sunshine and lollipops...and sparkly western show clothes. On the flipside there is a part of me that wants to take on some tough topics.
Since this blog is one with a bent towards faith I wanted to see what the word blessed means in the Bible. One source said the word is used about 300 times in the Bible. I can't confirm that, but it sounds interesting. From what I learned on dictionary.com the word has many different meanings. The first meaning found on dictionary.com is "consecrated; sacred; holy; sanctified. After that comes "worth of adoration, reverence, or worship. Number three is "divinely or supremely favored, fortunate" and number four is "blissfully happy or content." I find this list rather interesting. It is quite possible I think number four should be number one! The Hebrew definition of bless, according to the Ancient Hebrew Research Center (online source), says the word is originally seen in a concrete manner in Genesis 24:11. That scripture says, "And He made the camels kneel down outside the city." Well that's weird because I don't see anything about being happy and blissful there. The phrase kneel down is the same Hebrew word translated as bless. If we extend this out the meaning of the word bless is to do or give something of value to another. Having said that I am quite certain the Bible also speaks of blessings as you and I think of them..good, awesome, and amazing stuff happening to a person. So let's keep reading and thinking about this.
Genesis 12:1-3) The Lord said to Abram, "Leave your land, your relatives, ad your father's home. Go to the land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation, I will BLESS (caps are mine) you. I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you, I will curse. Through you every family on earth will be blessed.
So this verse packs a lot of information. The first thing I notice is that Abram is being asked to sacrifice something before blessings are mentioned. That's interesting to me. I also think there are a couple of forms of bless that are being used. Following Abram's obedience God is promising blessings. I think this could mean gifts such as material possessions and/or spiritual blessings knowing you obeyed God and stepped out in faith. The second type of blessing is the type that you can do for other people. Think to the original definition I gave you in regards to the camels kneeling. Abram will be a blessing to others. Oh for us all to have that priority! I heard once about a study that was done matching up America's most prosperous times to that when she fully supported Israel. When American turns her back on Israel is when times here get worse. I didn't confirm that, but according to the verse I just shared it is possible that is true.
Deuteronomy 28:1-6) Carefully obey the Lord your God, and faithfully follow all his commands that I'm giving you today. If you do, the Lord your God will place you high above all the other nations in the world. These are all the blessings that will come to you and stay close to you because you obey the Lord your God: You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. You will be blessed. You will have children. Your land will have crops. Your animals will have offspring. Your cattle will have calves, and your flocks will have lambs and kids. The grain you harvest and the bread you bake will be blessed. You will be blessed when you come and blessed when you go.
It goes on and on for about another 20 verses! Wow! Sign me up! A little context is important. God is talking to the generation of Israel about to enter the Promised Land, and ALL subsequent followers. I find God's generosity quite impressive considering the Israelites were quite the stinkers for the 40 years they wandered in the wilderness. Anyway, so God is also a God of material blessings. Phew, good to know! Before we shut it down on that note let's look a little at the New Testament and the Sermon on the Mount (the Beatitudes)
Matthew 5:1-12) When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up a mountain and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them: "Blessed are those who recognize they are spiritually helpless. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them. Blessed are those who mourn. They will be comforted. Blessed are those who are gentle. They will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for God's approval. They will be satisfied. Blessed are those who show mercy. They will be treated mercifully. Blessed are those whose thoughts are pure. They will see God. Blessed are those who make peace. They will be called God's children. Blessed are those who are persecuted for doing what God approves of. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, lie and say all kinds of evil things about you because of me. Rejoice and be glad because you have a great reward in heaven! The prophets who lived before you were persecuted in these ways.
Well, huh. That escalated quickly. So the Apostle Paul was blessed. He was beat in the town square often and was poor and imprisoned. John was apparently blessed also when he was shipped to Patmos and doused with hot oil. My family was blessed when my mom was taken Home because we can now be empathetic to another who is losing a loved one to a terminal illness. You are blessed when you turn your mind from bitter thoughts to forgiving thoughts. You are blessed for standing up for your ethics in your workplace. You are blessed when you encourage someone with a gentle word. You are blessed when you could get even with someone, but you don't. Notice the first of the Beatitudes..."Blessed are those who recognize they are spiritually helpless. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them." Interestingly enough Jesus recognizes definition one as the first Beatitude. Remember what it was? It is to be consecrated (declare sacred); holy. I think it also matches up with the definition we learned first in Genesis 24:11. God is giving us something of value.
There are approximately another 299 verses on the word bless that I didn't cover here. I think it is safe to say that He blesses us with things we want and scenarios we desire, but He also allows what we perceive at negative situations to occur to bless us in other ways. I have done my share of asking God to bless me and my family which is a completely fine thing to do, but I need to be sure I am blessing God by my words, thoughts, attitudes, and actions. Just like I LOVE giving my sweet boy material gifts God takes great joy in the same thing. I firmly believe that. Instead of declaring all our blessings to others so much let's try to reach the hurting and lend a hand to them. I need to be more sensitive to the hurting, to the people that are dreaming of the same blessings I am currently receiving. Let's put a priority on the first Beatitude, to recognize we are spiritually bankrupt without the Holy Spirit in our hearts. Maybe we should change our #soblessed into #sothankful? Let's turn our focus from the obvious blessings to those that have to be searched for. Let's look for the blessings that our emotions say are not blessings. And for all blessings both material and spiritual let's be thankful!
I declare this to anyone reading this now:
May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; may the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
- Numbers 6:24-26
* I want to dedicate this entry to my mom, Dinah Ann Kruse, who lost her battle with cancer this day in 2011. She received the ultimate blessing, to hear the words face to face, "well done good and faithful servant."
In preparation for today's blog topic I did quite a bit of reading. I read articles on the topic and I studied God's word. I have a regular prayer that God will help me understand Him. My mom taught that I must be wise and discerning. Heck I even read the dictionary. What a wealth of good information that dictionary has! Anyway, here we go!
When I see posts on Facebook or hear people in conversation say something like, "I am so blessed...I beat cancer" or "I am so blessed with these amazing kids" I wonder. I wonder about the people that weren't blessed by beating cancer or the families that were left behind when their loved one dies of the dreaded disease. I wonder about the parents who are not sleeping at night because they know their wayward teenager is out making horrible decisions. I wonder about situations like that. I also think of the new Believer who thinks God will #bless them if they start following Him yet their husband still has an affair and leaves them or their child still needs chemotherapy. I guess I am thinking out loud here. Remember I don't know the answers to these questions. Why are some blessed with the new, gorgeous house yet others live in trash dumps? Some people are blessed by a booming business yet another is struggling to even make it despite their faithfulness to God or their regular tithe check. The Bible says His ways are not ours and His knowledge is above ours. He allows things we do not understand to occur. Only He knows what is going on at the heart of a situation. I think maturing in faith is crucial. I think we have to dig into some deep things to really get to know God. Believe me sometimes I want to be really shallow and just think about sunshine and lollipops...and sparkly western show clothes. On the flipside there is a part of me that wants to take on some tough topics.
Since this blog is one with a bent towards faith I wanted to see what the word blessed means in the Bible. One source said the word is used about 300 times in the Bible. I can't confirm that, but it sounds interesting. From what I learned on dictionary.com the word has many different meanings. The first meaning found on dictionary.com is "consecrated; sacred; holy; sanctified. After that comes "worth of adoration, reverence, or worship. Number three is "divinely or supremely favored, fortunate" and number four is "blissfully happy or content." I find this list rather interesting. It is quite possible I think number four should be number one! The Hebrew definition of bless, according to the Ancient Hebrew Research Center (online source), says the word is originally seen in a concrete manner in Genesis 24:11. That scripture says, "And He made the camels kneel down outside the city." Well that's weird because I don't see anything about being happy and blissful there. The phrase kneel down is the same Hebrew word translated as bless. If we extend this out the meaning of the word bless is to do or give something of value to another. Having said that I am quite certain the Bible also speaks of blessings as you and I think of them..good, awesome, and amazing stuff happening to a person. So let's keep reading and thinking about this.
Genesis 12:1-3) The Lord said to Abram, "Leave your land, your relatives, ad your father's home. Go to the land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation, I will BLESS (caps are mine) you. I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you, I will curse. Through you every family on earth will be blessed.
So this verse packs a lot of information. The first thing I notice is that Abram is being asked to sacrifice something before blessings are mentioned. That's interesting to me. I also think there are a couple of forms of bless that are being used. Following Abram's obedience God is promising blessings. I think this could mean gifts such as material possessions and/or spiritual blessings knowing you obeyed God and stepped out in faith. The second type of blessing is the type that you can do for other people. Think to the original definition I gave you in regards to the camels kneeling. Abram will be a blessing to others. Oh for us all to have that priority! I heard once about a study that was done matching up America's most prosperous times to that when she fully supported Israel. When American turns her back on Israel is when times here get worse. I didn't confirm that, but according to the verse I just shared it is possible that is true.
Deuteronomy 28:1-6) Carefully obey the Lord your God, and faithfully follow all his commands that I'm giving you today. If you do, the Lord your God will place you high above all the other nations in the world. These are all the blessings that will come to you and stay close to you because you obey the Lord your God: You will be blessed in the city and blessed in the country. You will be blessed. You will have children. Your land will have crops. Your animals will have offspring. Your cattle will have calves, and your flocks will have lambs and kids. The grain you harvest and the bread you bake will be blessed. You will be blessed when you come and blessed when you go.
It goes on and on for about another 20 verses! Wow! Sign me up! A little context is important. God is talking to the generation of Israel about to enter the Promised Land, and ALL subsequent followers. I find God's generosity quite impressive considering the Israelites were quite the stinkers for the 40 years they wandered in the wilderness. Anyway, so God is also a God of material blessings. Phew, good to know! Before we shut it down on that note let's look a little at the New Testament and the Sermon on the Mount (the Beatitudes)
Matthew 5:1-12) When Jesus saw the crowds, he went up a mountain and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them: "Blessed are those who recognize they are spiritually helpless. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them. Blessed are those who mourn. They will be comforted. Blessed are those who are gentle. They will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for God's approval. They will be satisfied. Blessed are those who show mercy. They will be treated mercifully. Blessed are those whose thoughts are pure. They will see God. Blessed are those who make peace. They will be called God's children. Blessed are those who are persecuted for doing what God approves of. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you, lie and say all kinds of evil things about you because of me. Rejoice and be glad because you have a great reward in heaven! The prophets who lived before you were persecuted in these ways.
Well, huh. That escalated quickly. So the Apostle Paul was blessed. He was beat in the town square often and was poor and imprisoned. John was apparently blessed also when he was shipped to Patmos and doused with hot oil. My family was blessed when my mom was taken Home because we can now be empathetic to another who is losing a loved one to a terminal illness. You are blessed when you turn your mind from bitter thoughts to forgiving thoughts. You are blessed for standing up for your ethics in your workplace. You are blessed when you encourage someone with a gentle word. You are blessed when you could get even with someone, but you don't. Notice the first of the Beatitudes..."Blessed are those who recognize they are spiritually helpless. The kingdom of heaven belongs to them." Interestingly enough Jesus recognizes definition one as the first Beatitude. Remember what it was? It is to be consecrated (declare sacred); holy. I think it also matches up with the definition we learned first in Genesis 24:11. God is giving us something of value.
There are approximately another 299 verses on the word bless that I didn't cover here. I think it is safe to say that He blesses us with things we want and scenarios we desire, but He also allows what we perceive at negative situations to occur to bless us in other ways. I have done my share of asking God to bless me and my family which is a completely fine thing to do, but I need to be sure I am blessing God by my words, thoughts, attitudes, and actions. Just like I LOVE giving my sweet boy material gifts God takes great joy in the same thing. I firmly believe that. Instead of declaring all our blessings to others so much let's try to reach the hurting and lend a hand to them. I need to be more sensitive to the hurting, to the people that are dreaming of the same blessings I am currently receiving. Let's put a priority on the first Beatitude, to recognize we are spiritually bankrupt without the Holy Spirit in our hearts. Maybe we should change our #soblessed into #sothankful? Let's turn our focus from the obvious blessings to those that have to be searched for. Let's look for the blessings that our emotions say are not blessings. And for all blessings both material and spiritual let's be thankful!
I declare this to anyone reading this now:
May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; may the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
- Numbers 6:24-26
* I want to dedicate this entry to my mom, Dinah Ann Kruse, who lost her battle with cancer this day in 2011. She received the ultimate blessing, to hear the words face to face, "well done good and faithful servant."
Friday, January 23, 2015
Smilings My Favorite!
Hi all! I hope your Christmas was wonderful and 2015 is treating you well thus far. I was reading back to some of my old blog entries and couldn't help but notice how the flavor of them has evolved over time. Early on they were more about my own personal Bible studies and now they are more focused on my interpretation of life's situations with my Biblical foundation obviously present.
Our Christmas was pretty wonderful! It was the first time I had been home over the Christmas holiday since my mom passed away in early 2011. Living in Georgia gave me the easy way out to not deal with it. It ended up being very nice though. My dad, his sister and her family, my sister's family, and our Uncle Rog have done their thing for Christmas several years now. Typically the festivities are held at MiChelle's or Christy's houses. I asked if everyone would be willing to come to dad's house. Anyone who has ever been there knows what a cozy and inviting house it is. My dad is always willing to travel to Toledo so I thought it would be nice for him to not have to get into the car. Everyone agreed!
As soon as Dave, Eli, and I arrived Christmas Day I felt sad. My mom loved the holidays and always worked overtime to make them special. Over Thanksgiving I had done some cleaning and came across Mom's gift wrapping Tupperware container. It was full of partially used wrapping paper tubes, ribbon, tape, and her scissors. It's seeing things like that that still hurt my heart deeply. Back to Christmas Day. Dad had gotten out several serving platters and had gone shopping for snacks. Iona, his house cleaner, had been recently so the house looked absolutely gorgeous. Dave and I helped decorate when we were there for Thanksgiving so the mantle was full of garland, lights, and our old stockings. Putting up the tree was a cinch. My mom always left the artificial tree fully decorated and just had my dad move it to a large, unused closet! So all I had to do was have Dave bring it down the stairs and straighten the large poinsettias and beaded gold sprouts that adorn the tree!
I spent a few hours rummaging through all Mom's serving wear. All her items tell a story and are generally pretty hilarious. There is the giant cactus-shaped chip dish with a cactus flower-shaped dip holder that fits inside. I also love the awesome cookie plates that are made of a material that could be colored on using markers. We aren't exactly sure what the drawings are, but they are labeled "Chris" and the date 1978 (I think) is written. That's when my sister, Christy, used to go by the name Chris. At any rate, they are fabulous! Two other favorites are the wooden carved wine stopper that is made in the shape of a really old, wrinkly cowboy face with cross-eyes and his tongue hanging out and the leopard velvet wine carrier with hot pink fur around the top. My Aunt MiChelle gave my mom that probably 10 plus years ago! Anyway, I was reminded of my mom's fierce sense of humor and it all made me smile and my sadness lifted a bit.
When Christy and Shane arrived she immediately commented on how pretty the house was. She looked at me and said, "it feels good to be here." Yes, I thought that's it-it feels good to be here. I think everyone felt the same way and we all shared fun stories of Dinah off and on throughout the night. If you have ever been around my family you know how much we laugh. One story we always remember is how my mom hoisted a dead raccoon (or was it a cat?) onto the roof of the woodshed. Why you might ask? Her adorable Corgi, Jake, kept retrieving it and bringing up the the door of the house. Several times he did this no matter where the dead animal was hidden/buried, etc. My mom got tired of dealing with it so she took it in a shovel and flung it onto the tin roof of the woodshed. We still all crack up at that one!
All in all it was a wonderful evening. Christy, Shane, and their kids were there, MiChelle and her family, my cousin Cullen and his new family, and my Uncle Rog and his friend. I think everyone really enjoyed being at the old house that once housed Christams celebrations with my Grandma Polly, Mylo, and all us grandkids. Times have changed and we all aren't able to be in one place at
one time anymore, but we could embrace life for what it is now and even laugh...A LOT.
I also want to add that a gift exchange in the Kruse family is never dull. Just ask my Uncle Rog who received a very unique "briefcase" from MiChelle and Alyssa. It was made of men's underwear! Or the time my cousin, Greg's new girlfriend from college received garage sale baby clothes from our Grandma Polly. Can you saw "awkward?!" Adrianna handled like a champ though and it's still a
hilarious memory!
I guess the point to this entry is that no matter the pain you may feel now over losing a loved one there will come a day when you can remember that person and even smile a little bit...or a lot like in our case. I absolutely hated when people told me it gets easier in the aftermath of losing my mom. I didn't want it to get easier. I truly wanted to live in the pain forever because I felt close to her and I thought it would dishonor her by moving forward. I think that's all part of the grieving process. My pain was a comfortable coat I could wear. If you are reading this and you have recently lost someone I won't be as curt in saying "oh it gets easier...don't worry." I will say that a day will come when the coat of sorrow and pain starts to slowly turn into a coat of good memories and smiles. There is a disclaimer though. Some days you will want to put on the coat of sorrow to just mourn and that's okay! This Christmas Day we could wear a happy coat and it really suited our little family well!
I will leave you with this reminder from Lamentations 3:21-23.
21 This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
22 The Lord’s lovingkindnesses [a]indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
Our Christmas was pretty wonderful! It was the first time I had been home over the Christmas holiday since my mom passed away in early 2011. Living in Georgia gave me the easy way out to not deal with it. It ended up being very nice though. My dad, his sister and her family, my sister's family, and our Uncle Rog have done their thing for Christmas several years now. Typically the festivities are held at MiChelle's or Christy's houses. I asked if everyone would be willing to come to dad's house. Anyone who has ever been there knows what a cozy and inviting house it is. My dad is always willing to travel to Toledo so I thought it would be nice for him to not have to get into the car. Everyone agreed!
As soon as Dave, Eli, and I arrived Christmas Day I felt sad. My mom loved the holidays and always worked overtime to make them special. Over Thanksgiving I had done some cleaning and came across Mom's gift wrapping Tupperware container. It was full of partially used wrapping paper tubes, ribbon, tape, and her scissors. It's seeing things like that that still hurt my heart deeply. Back to Christmas Day. Dad had gotten out several serving platters and had gone shopping for snacks. Iona, his house cleaner, had been recently so the house looked absolutely gorgeous. Dave and I helped decorate when we were there for Thanksgiving so the mantle was full of garland, lights, and our old stockings. Putting up the tree was a cinch. My mom always left the artificial tree fully decorated and just had my dad move it to a large, unused closet! So all I had to do was have Dave bring it down the stairs and straighten the large poinsettias and beaded gold sprouts that adorn the tree!
I spent a few hours rummaging through all Mom's serving wear. All her items tell a story and are generally pretty hilarious. There is the giant cactus-shaped chip dish with a cactus flower-shaped dip holder that fits inside. I also love the awesome cookie plates that are made of a material that could be colored on using markers. We aren't exactly sure what the drawings are, but they are labeled "Chris" and the date 1978 (I think) is written. That's when my sister, Christy, used to go by the name Chris. At any rate, they are fabulous! Two other favorites are the wooden carved wine stopper that is made in the shape of a really old, wrinkly cowboy face with cross-eyes and his tongue hanging out and the leopard velvet wine carrier with hot pink fur around the top. My Aunt MiChelle gave my mom that probably 10 plus years ago! Anyway, I was reminded of my mom's fierce sense of humor and it all made me smile and my sadness lifted a bit.
When Christy and Shane arrived she immediately commented on how pretty the house was. She looked at me and said, "it feels good to be here." Yes, I thought that's it-it feels good to be here. I think everyone felt the same way and we all shared fun stories of Dinah off and on throughout the night. If you have ever been around my family you know how much we laugh. One story we always remember is how my mom hoisted a dead raccoon (or was it a cat?) onto the roof of the woodshed. Why you might ask? Her adorable Corgi, Jake, kept retrieving it and bringing up the the door of the house. Several times he did this no matter where the dead animal was hidden/buried, etc. My mom got tired of dealing with it so she took it in a shovel and flung it onto the tin roof of the woodshed. We still all crack up at that one!
All in all it was a wonderful evening. Christy, Shane, and their kids were there, MiChelle and her family, my cousin Cullen and his new family, and my Uncle Rog and his friend. I think everyone really enjoyed being at the old house that once housed Christams celebrations with my Grandma Polly, Mylo, and all us grandkids. Times have changed and we all aren't able to be in one place at
one time anymore, but we could embrace life for what it is now and even laugh...A LOT.
I also want to add that a gift exchange in the Kruse family is never dull. Just ask my Uncle Rog who received a very unique "briefcase" from MiChelle and Alyssa. It was made of men's underwear! Or the time my cousin, Greg's new girlfriend from college received garage sale baby clothes from our Grandma Polly. Can you saw "awkward?!" Adrianna handled like a champ though and it's still a
hilarious memory!
I guess the point to this entry is that no matter the pain you may feel now over losing a loved one there will come a day when you can remember that person and even smile a little bit...or a lot like in our case. I absolutely hated when people told me it gets easier in the aftermath of losing my mom. I didn't want it to get easier. I truly wanted to live in the pain forever because I felt close to her and I thought it would dishonor her by moving forward. I think that's all part of the grieving process. My pain was a comfortable coat I could wear. If you are reading this and you have recently lost someone I won't be as curt in saying "oh it gets easier...don't worry." I will say that a day will come when the coat of sorrow and pain starts to slowly turn into a coat of good memories and smiles. There is a disclaimer though. Some days you will want to put on the coat of sorrow to just mourn and that's okay! This Christmas Day we could wear a happy coat and it really suited our little family well!
I will leave you with this reminder from Lamentations 3:21-23.
21 This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
22 The Lord’s lovingkindnesses [a]indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
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