God, Dave, Family and Friends, and Even HGTV

I thought it was a perfect time to blog since I am bed-bound for the week.  I am actually in Alexandria, Louisiana right now with Dave.  My surgery was in Houston last Friday so we traveled from there to Alex on Sunday so Dave could work at the plant here for the week.  We will go back to Houston Friday to see my surgeon then back to Evans.

Our trip to Houston went incredibly smooth.  My appointment with the surgeon went so well.  Dave and I immediately liked him and felt perfectly at ease with the decision.  He answered all our questions plus gave us helpful additional information.  After seeing him we walked over to the hospital for our pre-op appointment.  All systems were go and we had to be at the hospital at 6 a.m. the following morning.

I slept off and on the night before surgery.  I knew that God already knew the situation because 1. He knows everything and 2. I have prayed about a million times and fasted over this situation.  He surely was familiar with it!  I think of one of my go-to verses, Romans 6:28.  It reads, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans."  I absolutely LOVE this verse.  I thought of it often as my mom battled cancer.  That situation was so painful and overwhelming and I ran out of words fairly early on.  Same with my health issue.  It has been so painful, all-consuming, and frustrating that its hard sometimes to come up with words to pray.  I don't want to give up praying though.  I heard once that the times when we feel we can't pray are the times we desperately need to pray.  That's how I felt Thursday night as the time ticked down to my total hysterectomy.  As I lay there
I just pictured myself wrapped on God's arms.  No words were said between either of us...I just felt Gods nearness.  The chorus from "Loss for Words" fits perfectly.  You can read it below.

I am empty
You are holy
Come and fill my soul with who you are
In my silence You still hear me
In the quiet of this moment
I am heard
I'm overwhelmed
And at a loss for words

Friday eventually rolled around, eventually.  The waiting was the hardest part.  I told Dave my life will be split between pre-hysterectomy and post-hysterectomy!  We only waited a few minutes before the nurse came to get me.  It felt like an hour.  As I entered the pre-op room to put the gown on I began to cry just a little bit.  I hadn't cried over the situation because having it done was such a relief. Dave and I decided just after Eli was born that we were content with one child.  We knew we didn't want to go through IVF again and were just so thankful for Eli.  Because of this we found the decision to move forward with a hysterectomy an easy one because our interest is in improving my quality of life.  When I teared up a little bit one thought came to mind, "I wish my mom was here."  I just want to have my mom with me.  Funny, huh?  I guess we never get too old to want our mothers nearby when we are sick or life is hard.  

As I crawled into that bed I felt so connected with God.  He was right there with me.  A few nurses came in and were great.  Dave then was brought back.  He's an amazing man.  We have been through so much together.  We joke that he should have had me vetted before he married me.  When a person wants to buy a horse you have the animal vetted.  This means that a vet evaluates the horse with a detailed exam and x-rays.  The buyer then decides if they can live with the issues if any were uncovered.  Anyway, Dave is the calmest person on this planet.  I have never actually seen him out of control of his emotions.  He is a Godly man.  He is a devoted husband and father.  He is the epitome of integrity.  I have depended on him heavily through this trial.  It has been hard on me, but also incredibly hard on Dave.  He hasn't been able to fix it or change it.  He has been as helpless as I have.  Our marriage is stronger though because of the trials.  I admire him for too many reasons to count.  I'm honored to be his wife.  He has made me a better person.  His presence in the pre-op room calmed me beyond words.  We met with the head of anesthesia.  He was a funny guy!  When he came in he said "hola, como este!"  What made it funny was that he was an Asian gentleman!  We also met with the anesthesiologist that would be with me during surgery.  The nurse turned on the T.V. and said channel 22 was a channel on anesthesia.  Um, no thank you!  I had her turn on HGTV.  I LOVE HGTV!  We watched HGTV in the pre-op room, the hospital room, and pretty much solid in our hotel room.  Good thing Dave loves it too!

As we waited for my turn in the surgery room we met again with the surgeon.  Once again he was so calm and offered such encouraging words.  The whole time Dave kept me updated on texts and messages.  Of course my dad and sister were the first to send messages that morning.  I received so many other messages from dear friends and other family members.  The night before we left for Houston we had a cookout with our church small group.  To be honest at first I didn't want to go to the cookout.  My mind was on what to pack and mentally going over the details of the trip.  The cookout was so nice though.  Our friends are such great people and wanted to know the details and timing of surgery so they could be praying when I was in surgery.  They wanted to be sure that Dave sent a message as soon as I was done.  The support and love were awesome.  My sister had a hysterectomy a few years ago so she's been a God-send.  She is my best friend and always willing to listen.  We have E-mailed each other practically everyday of the week for like ten years!  She's awesome.  My dad wanted to be there for surgery no doubt.  He knew Dave was with me though.  My in-laws are also amazing people.  They love Eli so much.  In fact, Lou Ann flew to Atlanta to pick up Eli the day before we left for Houston.  Bob and Lou are two wonderful people and are so giving and helpful.  Just knowing so many people cared also calmed me as we waited.  

The anesthesiologist came in with anti-nausea medicine and then anti-anxiety medication for my I.V.  I actually didn't even feel anxious...just ready to be on the other side.  Then he came in with a "margarita" and that's the last I remember!  As I look back I realize how God provided such amazing support.  Aside from simply offering Himself He has given me the tremendous privilege of being Dave's wife.  He has given me a father that has loved me unconditionally my entire life.  I wanted to marry a man as awesome as my dad.  I grew up seeing what a real man looks like.  He taught me that I was invaluable and that any man would be lucky to have me.  Because of my dad my standards for boyfriends and my future husband were incredibly high.  I'm so grateful for my dad.  My sweet sister...even though she is MUCH older than I am (you know I love ya sister) we have very close most of my adult life.  We have weathered a lot of storms together.  As our mother die of cancer we got each other.  I knew her pain and she knew mine.  We were a team getting dad through his bout of cancer soon after mom died.  We have also laughed more together than any two people on earth!  God has given me the best friends ever.  Their support has gotten me through very tough times.  I have old friends and newer friends...all of which hold special places in my heart.  They wanted updated as soon as Dave knew anything.  They have spent countless time in prayer for me, Dave, and my doctor.  I love them dearly and hope to return the support to them that they have given me.  To a MUCH smaller extent I'm even grateful for HGTV.  I'm reading a book now called, "God is in the Small Stuff."  I am trying to recognize small gifts from God.  He overseas every detail of our life.  I love houses, real estate, building houses, decorating, etc. and watching HGTV took my mind off what was happening in that pre-op and hospital room. I'm glad for that!

This blog entry is very long and I appreciate you reading it!  I hope you were encouraged in some way to keep praying even when words don't come or you don't feel like it.  I also hope you can look into your own life and recognize the people that have made an impact on you.  You are loved and valued by God and those people He has put into your life.