Hey everyone! I hope you all had a peaceful Christmas. We missed our families in Ohio, but enjoyed our southern holiday also. It was been outstanding having Dave home for close to two weeks. Our vacation at home has been wonderful. The only downside has been the fact that poor, little Eli has had the flu. When I say the flu I mean THE FLU. He has been soooooo incredibly sick. Keeping a five year old on the couch for five days has not been easy! So on to the point of my blog entry.
Luke 8:39) Return home and tell how much God has done for you." So the man went away and
told all over town how much Jesus had done for him.
So this is what I shall do now. Shall? For some reason Eli has been using this word. "Shall we play Wii?" "What shall we do now, mom?" Anywho. Like many of you I think if I declare something that has happened that is good out loud there is a chance I will like jinx it or something. There are also some people that constantly talk about all the good things that happen in their lives. Let's admit it...we often want to smack those people! :-) So there is something really good that I have experienced the last few months...I bet your really curious now. I don't mean good as in we had a good Christmas, I had a good run the other day, etc. I mean good as in good like you can't even believe it happened, someone pinch me, an utter miracle, I have been pleading to God for this for years and years and years.
S-L-E-E-P. For those of you who sleep well on a regular basis you don't get the magnitude of never sleeping well. I have been plagued with insomnia for longer than I can remember. I did everything the experts said to do. Our bedroom was cold, the bed was perfectly comfortable, I avoided ALL caffeine and had very limited amounts of sugar, I allowed myself to "unwind" before bed, I exercised, I prayed about it, I recited Bible verses, listened to quiet music, had white noise, had a fan on me, turned the ceiling fan on, bought black out blinds, talked to my doctor about it, and the list goes on. Oh and forget sleeping away from home. I didn't even have a racing mind. I just could NOT sleep. By the time this had gone on for like five years I was terrified and so stressed to go to bed. I would get in bed and one of two things would happen. One, I would fall asleep right away and wake up an hour later and be awake for three hours or two, I would lay there for hours on end. I would get up and do laundry or read, but nothing ever helped. When I would get utterly exhausted I would just bawl. Dave would wake up and sit with me for hours until I fell asleep. It was mind-numbing. Different treatments were given to me and nothing worked. If I would have known any national security secrets I would have sang like a bird!
I dreaded going to bed and dreaded how tired I would be the next day. I would drag myself up and workout every single day. I would power through the days so tired I wanted to just lay down wherever I was. I battled exhaustion anyway too due to my severe hormonal imbalances. I remember one time at Kroger's I was so tired that I literally wanted to lay down in the aisle. I called my friend whose daughter went to preschool with Eli and asked if she would pick up Eli too because I was too tired to get my groceries in the car and drive over to the school. She assured me it was not a problem. I just drove home in a tired daze.
When I went to Dr. Vliet in August insomnia was number one on my list of symptoms. She was so compassionate and said she can't believe I had lived this way this long. We talked about how God's power flowed through me because I would have given up years ago. He is the reason I have navigated through this journey that I call "hormonal hell." His grace has been sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9). Dr. Vliet had ordered blood work weeks before my appointment so when we got there she had all the results. She pointed to about four hormones that were significantly off all of which cause sleep issues. I wanted to cry just looking at that lab report. I am not casting stones at the other doctors that I have seen over the years. They just saw things differently and treated people differently than Dr. Vliet.
One hormone in general was basically non-existent so she gave me a sample of it that I could use immediately. I stuck that estrogen patch on my hip that night. Guess what? I slept that night...in a hotel room...not in my usual spot...with different sounds...in a different time zone...etc. That was the last day in August and now we are almost through December and I'm still sleeping well. Now I will still have nights that I wake up early or it takes me longer to fall asleep, but it's okay because everybody has those and now I know the next night will be better. The other night I slept eight hours straight. Crazy that is!
So forever I have wanted to share this story, but I didn't want to jinx it. I didn't want to declare what the Lord has done for me because what if the sleep went away. What if I put this blog entry out there for everyone to read and than I stopped sleeping well? Even with Dave, my best pal, or my dad or sister I am hesitant to tell them I slept awesome the night before. Why? Because of fear. I am afraid this gift from God will be ripped from me. I feel unworthy of a simple gift from God.
So right now I am doing what the man did in Luke 8:39. The background on Luke 8:39 is this. The man was demon-possessed. Jesus Christ freed this man from the torment that was his life. The man wanted to go with Jesus on his next mission. Jesus, instead, told him to go and tell everyone what God had done for him. So that's what I am doing by refusing to keep quiet out of fear. God has given me a gift, pure and simple. There are some symptoms from my imbalances that are still present, but sleep has come. I am declaring what God has done for me.
So there. My dear, sweet (and very patient) husband told me a few weeks ago that I needed to do an entry about my sleep. I admitted to him that the Lord had laid on my heart a few weeks before our conversation that He wanted me to do an entry on my sleeping. I put it off, avoided it. When Dave came to me and said this I knew it was what I was supposed to do. So I got right on it two weeks later! I decided today was the day. I hope this entry spoke to your heart in a personal way. Happy New Year!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Coziness!
Hey everyone! I'm so sorry for the length of time since my last entry. Time flies!
I want to introduce a word to you today...coziness. I do not think it is even a real word, but in my mind it is! Stick with me here. Dave, Eli, and myself traveled to Northwest Ohio for Thanksgiving. Actually we went well before Thanksgiving and were back in Georgia for the actual day. We left Evans, Georgia at about 7:00 p.m. Funny thing is we had to drop off a cupcake order on our way out of town! Eli was all comfy in the back seat. Dare I say cozy?! He had a blanket, his pillow, Floppy, Cheetos (if you give your kid Cheetos in the car please have wipes handy...I learned this the hard way), a water bottle, and his little DVD player with a VeggieTale movie. About 30 minutes into the trip he asks how much longer! We said, "well Eli, only 11 more hours!" He fell asleep about two hours later and slept most of the trip. We made it to Dave's parent's house the next morning. We were thankful to God that He allowed us to arrive safely.
Going back to Ohio is a tough thing for me. Don't get me wrong I LOVE seeing my family. I knew that I would get to see all my little nieces and nephews and that I would get to hang out with my awesome sister-in-laws, Amanda and Rachel. It is a rare thing that all the Limbirds get to be together. I also could not wait to see my dad! My sister and I had plans to enjoy each other's company one afternoon and they could all not wait to see Eli. I was hoping to get to see my Aunt MiChelle and her kids, Alyssa and Kaiden. My sister also has a wonderful boyfriend who has children and we all enjoy our time together. My point in telling you all of this is that there are many, many aspects of traveling to Ohio that are very good. I am not going to lie though. It's hard. It makes me miss my mom and I struggle with thoughts over the last few times I was in Ohio before she passed on to her heavenly reward. She also would cook up a storm for Thanksgiving making the best turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, corn casserole, and apple pie you have ever had. If you have ever been to my parent's house you know it's cozy and inviting. My mom had a God-given knack for decorating and art. She painted beautiful pictures and just put her fingerprint on any room she decorated. Even now when you enter that house you feel her presence in all the creativity around you. When I walk in and feel that presence it usually makes me sad because it makes me realize once again that she is no longer there.
So as we traveled from Dave's parent's house to my childhood home (only about a 15 minute drive) the first evening I felt that usual sickness in the pit of my stomach. I just knew that I would walk in and be smacked with the concept of her absence. Something different happened this time though...I walked in and I felt a tremendous coziness. My mom LOVED being cozy. She could make everything cozy. Every room in the house is cozy. Even her huge Fifth Wheel camper was cozy! I remember one March at a very cold horse show she and I camped on the show grounds. I had been riding my horse one cold evening and when I came back to the camper with freezing fingers and toes she had prepared hot chocolate and had the fireplace going (yes her camper had a fireplace).
Coziness is hard to explain. The dictionary says cozy means, "to be snugly warm and comfortable." Mom took her role as a homemaker very seriously. She painstakingly made that house a home. She had a gift of taking something mundane and turning it into something special. Even a trip to Wal-Mart with her would be all kinds of fun. When I was a kid I couldn't wait to get home after school because I knew she would be there and would have time for me...and a wonderful snack (often times fresh chocolate chip cookies). I firmly believe she had many gifts from God. One gift was to make small things special. She had the gift of creativity and God clearly gave her the ability to make a house a home.
As Dave, Eli, and I approached the door I could smell the wood burning fireplace burning. One chore I had as an adolescent was to take the cut wood from the barn and dump it through the open basement window for the furnace. I never understood how people changed the thermostat without first "firing up" the furnace! Anyway, my dad was sitting in a leather chair with his feet propped up in front of the fireplace. I looked around and felt a huge hug from my mom. I still missed her tremendously and cried a few times while I was there, but realized what a gift she had and how she passed it on to me.
Dave and I are cozy people. One of our favorite places to go every fall is the north Georgia mountains and stay in a wonderfully cozy cabin. We are a comfy pant, fireplace, and chill weather kind of family. When Eli gets home from school the first thing he wants to do is get cozy which means to put on his jammies. This occurs on the days he does not wear his dragon costume! He likes being "cozy to the coze!" In the summer when it's 8,000 degrees outside I want the air conditioning turned way down so I can still be cozy! I believe my mom taught me to put a priority on making our house a home, to make it inviting, and to make it feel safe.
Being at home I realized that she dedicated her life to her family and home. She was a big personality and left an incredible imprint on that house. Being home I became so thankful that I knew her and that she took the time to teach me such important lessons. I am so grateful that God put in me that same creative gene. While I was there I did a great deal of cooking and baking which is also a trait I got from my mom. I got out her big pot and made her chili recipe. As it simmered I sat at her kitchen table and missed her like crazy, but also felt grateful that she taught me to be a homemaker and mom. She taught me how fantastic it is to be COZY!
The following verse is one that reminds me of my mom. This blog entry isn't based on a Bible study this time, but just thoughts on our trip to Ohio. I hope you enjoyed it and the Lord spoke to you in a personal way.
Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
I want to introduce a word to you today...coziness. I do not think it is even a real word, but in my mind it is! Stick with me here. Dave, Eli, and myself traveled to Northwest Ohio for Thanksgiving. Actually we went well before Thanksgiving and were back in Georgia for the actual day. We left Evans, Georgia at about 7:00 p.m. Funny thing is we had to drop off a cupcake order on our way out of town! Eli was all comfy in the back seat. Dare I say cozy?! He had a blanket, his pillow, Floppy, Cheetos (if you give your kid Cheetos in the car please have wipes handy...I learned this the hard way), a water bottle, and his little DVD player with a VeggieTale movie. About 30 minutes into the trip he asks how much longer! We said, "well Eli, only 11 more hours!" He fell asleep about two hours later and slept most of the trip. We made it to Dave's parent's house the next morning. We were thankful to God that He allowed us to arrive safely.
Going back to Ohio is a tough thing for me. Don't get me wrong I LOVE seeing my family. I knew that I would get to see all my little nieces and nephews and that I would get to hang out with my awesome sister-in-laws, Amanda and Rachel. It is a rare thing that all the Limbirds get to be together. I also could not wait to see my dad! My sister and I had plans to enjoy each other's company one afternoon and they could all not wait to see Eli. I was hoping to get to see my Aunt MiChelle and her kids, Alyssa and Kaiden. My sister also has a wonderful boyfriend who has children and we all enjoy our time together. My point in telling you all of this is that there are many, many aspects of traveling to Ohio that are very good. I am not going to lie though. It's hard. It makes me miss my mom and I struggle with thoughts over the last few times I was in Ohio before she passed on to her heavenly reward. She also would cook up a storm for Thanksgiving making the best turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, corn casserole, and apple pie you have ever had. If you have ever been to my parent's house you know it's cozy and inviting. My mom had a God-given knack for decorating and art. She painted beautiful pictures and just put her fingerprint on any room she decorated. Even now when you enter that house you feel her presence in all the creativity around you. When I walk in and feel that presence it usually makes me sad because it makes me realize once again that she is no longer there.
So as we traveled from Dave's parent's house to my childhood home (only about a 15 minute drive) the first evening I felt that usual sickness in the pit of my stomach. I just knew that I would walk in and be smacked with the concept of her absence. Something different happened this time though...I walked in and I felt a tremendous coziness. My mom LOVED being cozy. She could make everything cozy. Every room in the house is cozy. Even her huge Fifth Wheel camper was cozy! I remember one March at a very cold horse show she and I camped on the show grounds. I had been riding my horse one cold evening and when I came back to the camper with freezing fingers and toes she had prepared hot chocolate and had the fireplace going (yes her camper had a fireplace).
Coziness is hard to explain. The dictionary says cozy means, "to be snugly warm and comfortable." Mom took her role as a homemaker very seriously. She painstakingly made that house a home. She had a gift of taking something mundane and turning it into something special. Even a trip to Wal-Mart with her would be all kinds of fun. When I was a kid I couldn't wait to get home after school because I knew she would be there and would have time for me...and a wonderful snack (often times fresh chocolate chip cookies). I firmly believe she had many gifts from God. One gift was to make small things special. She had the gift of creativity and God clearly gave her the ability to make a house a home.
As Dave, Eli, and I approached the door I could smell the wood burning fireplace burning. One chore I had as an adolescent was to take the cut wood from the barn and dump it through the open basement window for the furnace. I never understood how people changed the thermostat without first "firing up" the furnace! Anyway, my dad was sitting in a leather chair with his feet propped up in front of the fireplace. I looked around and felt a huge hug from my mom. I still missed her tremendously and cried a few times while I was there, but realized what a gift she had and how she passed it on to me.
Dave and I are cozy people. One of our favorite places to go every fall is the north Georgia mountains and stay in a wonderfully cozy cabin. We are a comfy pant, fireplace, and chill weather kind of family. When Eli gets home from school the first thing he wants to do is get cozy which means to put on his jammies. This occurs on the days he does not wear his dragon costume! He likes being "cozy to the coze!" In the summer when it's 8,000 degrees outside I want the air conditioning turned way down so I can still be cozy! I believe my mom taught me to put a priority on making our house a home, to make it inviting, and to make it feel safe.
Being at home I realized that she dedicated her life to her family and home. She was a big personality and left an incredible imprint on that house. Being home I became so thankful that I knew her and that she took the time to teach me such important lessons. I am so grateful that God put in me that same creative gene. While I was there I did a great deal of cooking and baking which is also a trait I got from my mom. I got out her big pot and made her chili recipe. As it simmered I sat at her kitchen table and missed her like crazy, but also felt grateful that she taught me to be a homemaker and mom. She taught me how fantastic it is to be COZY!
The following verse is one that reminds me of my mom. This blog entry isn't based on a Bible study this time, but just thoughts on our trip to Ohio. I hope you enjoyed it and the Lord spoke to you in a personal way.
Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Here's to...Dinah and the U.S. of A.!
In my last entry I explained how encouragement is a gift from the Lord. My last entry explained how my dad and close friend have provided a crutch for me at needed times. I love them both so much!
The third person I want to touch on is my mom. I think of her fondly today because election day is tomorrow and she LOVED to vote. People are so comfortable here. They truly think America will also be the way it is where we have endless freedoms and the ability to be whoever we want. Mom saw the attacks against our freedoms and took them seriously. She did not take well to ignorance or the mass media's deception. She used to say, "I don't believe these polls. No one has ever asked me!" My mom was a firm believer in Conservatism and could talk politics with just about anyone. She was always informed about pretty much everything. I firmly believe I got my love of country and interest in politics from her. My dad was always very interested in politics too, but because I spent more time growing up with my mom I remember her interest in greater detail. She stressed the importance of being informed to my sister and I.
She also made me realize that it was wise to dig deeper into issues and not count on what was said on the nightly news. Growing up we didn't have cable so at 6:30 p.m. every night we ate dinner and watched Tom Brokaw. I hated it! My dad was always clear that we had to be informed than form our own ideas. Even at a young age I was taught critical thinking. She taught me that just because Tom Brokaw said it doesn't make it so. She taught me common sense when it came to political issues. My mom listened to conservative talk radio nearly every day. I remember being a kid (and teenager) having to listen to talk radio anytime we were in the car between noon and 3 p.m. Again, I HATED it! I was a shallow kid. I believe a foundation was set for me to know the importance of the principles of what has made America. Mom felt a passion for our great Constitution. She was still listening to her talk radio from noon to 3 p.m. as she lay in bed too sick with cancer to get up. Why? Why would she care? She was going to see Jesus face to face soon! Why? She simply loved her country and knew that her loved ones were going to be left here for awhile. She would be so excited to vote for love of country tomorrow.
I know that everyone reading this would not agree with my mom's political stance...or mine, but I want to give her the honor she deserves on this election-eve. So what does this have to do with encouragement? I'll tell you. She encouraged me to be the best I could be. She wanted me to be a critical-thinker over everything not just politics. She taught me how important common sense was. She knew that being wise and discerning was a Biblical trait and stressed to me and Christy how God desired us to ask Him for these traits.
2 Chronicles 1:11-12) God said to Solomon, “Since this is your heart’s desire and you have not asked for wealth, riches or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people over whom I have made you king, therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you. And I will also give you wealth, riches and honor, such as no king who was before you ever had and none after you will have.”
I would guess that Mom spent our lifetimes praying over Christy and myself. I don't believe she prayed for us to be happy or comfortable. I doubt she prayed that we would have a lot of money or popularity. She knew that the human nature is fickle and what would make us happy one day would change another. She knew money was worthless and popularity could be a curse. She knew that Jesus did not live a comfortable life on this earth. I believe she prayed for us to desire wisdom and to be knowledgeable in the things that matter. She encouraged us to seek His wisdom. America is something that matters and I believe that is why she wanted to be as knowledgeable about the workings of government as possible. I also know she thanked Him endlessly that her girls could grow up somewhere like America.
I feel like I'm rambling a bit and this entry is all connected in my head! I hope you can make some sense out of it in the end. Mom had grit. She helped me to see that there is a great big world out there that does not involve my creature comforts. She never took fondly to shallow or selfish people. She was real. She had a depth of character. She felt things deeply and encouraged me to be the type of person that seeks Godly wisdom and knowledge on the things that matter above all else.
So on this election-eve...think of my mom and think of what matters most in your heart as you go to cast your ballot tomorrow. She was a woman of principle. I encourage you to thank God for the ability we have to vote and seek Him for wisdom as you enter the poll. So here's to Dinah and to the Red, White, and Blue!
The third person I want to touch on is my mom. I think of her fondly today because election day is tomorrow and she LOVED to vote. People are so comfortable here. They truly think America will also be the way it is where we have endless freedoms and the ability to be whoever we want. Mom saw the attacks against our freedoms and took them seriously. She did not take well to ignorance or the mass media's deception. She used to say, "I don't believe these polls. No one has ever asked me!" My mom was a firm believer in Conservatism and could talk politics with just about anyone. She was always informed about pretty much everything. I firmly believe I got my love of country and interest in politics from her. My dad was always very interested in politics too, but because I spent more time growing up with my mom I remember her interest in greater detail. She stressed the importance of being informed to my sister and I.
She also made me realize that it was wise to dig deeper into issues and not count on what was said on the nightly news. Growing up we didn't have cable so at 6:30 p.m. every night we ate dinner and watched Tom Brokaw. I hated it! My dad was always clear that we had to be informed than form our own ideas. Even at a young age I was taught critical thinking. She taught me that just because Tom Brokaw said it doesn't make it so. She taught me common sense when it came to political issues. My mom listened to conservative talk radio nearly every day. I remember being a kid (and teenager) having to listen to talk radio anytime we were in the car between noon and 3 p.m. Again, I HATED it! I was a shallow kid. I believe a foundation was set for me to know the importance of the principles of what has made America. Mom felt a passion for our great Constitution. She was still listening to her talk radio from noon to 3 p.m. as she lay in bed too sick with cancer to get up. Why? Why would she care? She was going to see Jesus face to face soon! Why? She simply loved her country and knew that her loved ones were going to be left here for awhile. She would be so excited to vote for love of country tomorrow.
I know that everyone reading this would not agree with my mom's political stance...or mine, but I want to give her the honor she deserves on this election-eve. So what does this have to do with encouragement? I'll tell you. She encouraged me to be the best I could be. She wanted me to be a critical-thinker over everything not just politics. She taught me how important common sense was. She knew that being wise and discerning was a Biblical trait and stressed to me and Christy how God desired us to ask Him for these traits.
2 Chronicles 1:11-12) God said to Solomon, “Since this is your heart’s desire and you have not asked for wealth, riches or honor, nor for the death of your enemies, and since you have not asked for a long life but for wisdom and knowledge to govern my people over whom I have made you king, therefore wisdom and knowledge will be given you. And I will also give you wealth, riches and honor, such as no king who was before you ever had and none after you will have.”
I would guess that Mom spent our lifetimes praying over Christy and myself. I don't believe she prayed for us to be happy or comfortable. I doubt she prayed that we would have a lot of money or popularity. She knew that the human nature is fickle and what would make us happy one day would change another. She knew money was worthless and popularity could be a curse. She knew that Jesus did not live a comfortable life on this earth. I believe she prayed for us to desire wisdom and to be knowledgeable in the things that matter. She encouraged us to seek His wisdom. America is something that matters and I believe that is why she wanted to be as knowledgeable about the workings of government as possible. I also know she thanked Him endlessly that her girls could grow up somewhere like America.
I feel like I'm rambling a bit and this entry is all connected in my head! I hope you can make some sense out of it in the end. Mom had grit. She helped me to see that there is a great big world out there that does not involve my creature comforts. She never took fondly to shallow or selfish people. She was real. She had a depth of character. She felt things deeply and encouraged me to be the type of person that seeks Godly wisdom and knowledge on the things that matter above all else.
So on this election-eve...think of my mom and think of what matters most in your heart as you go to cast your ballot tomorrow. She was a woman of principle. I encourage you to thank God for the ability we have to vote and seek Him for wisdom as you enter the poll. So here's to Dinah and to the Red, White, and Blue!
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
We All Can Encourage
Romans 12:6-8) We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.
I don't know exactly how spiritual gifts work, but I do know that they are truly a gift from God. Romans 12:6 says they are. He graces us with His character which manifests in spiritual gifts. Like I said I don't know all there is to know about spiritual gifts, but I do think can people have multiple gifts. I believe we are born with the ability to practice these gifts, but because of the Fall in Eden we are selfish by nature. When we are born again in the Spirit He takes over and controls those gifts and perfects them in us. Gifts may arise that we never knew were there due to our relationship with Jesus Christ deepening. I know that has been true in my own life.
No one gets through this life unscathed. John 16:33 promises we will have trouble in this world. I told my friend yesterday that the trials in life can do one of two things to us. On one hand the trials can make us angry, bitter, foolish, and selfish. On the other hand the trials can make us brave, courageous, bold, and passionate, and selfless. One choice can paralyze us and render us ineffective for Christ. The other choice can put us in a position to refine our gifts and to use them to further God's Kingdom. The choice is ours. In my life I had no idea what my gifts were until I faced some really hard times.
I want to focus on the gift of encouragement right now. I think it is interesting that the Greek translation for the word encourage (exhort) is paracletos (paraclete) which means to call to one's side. I like that. Other definitions of encourage are: to inspire with courage, to stimulate by assistance, build up confidence, or promote. I will tell you about my dear friend at the beginning of this entry. She is just straight up encouraging. It appears to come so easily to her. I hope I have helped her realize God created this ability in her. She is a vessel for His encouragement. Jesus encouraged when He walked this earth and we are called to encourage one another. I will also talk about my dad. He encourages those around him with his wisdom on life.
I said earlier that our life circumstances and trials can either build up our gifts or minimize them. I can think of some people in my life that have used their trials to encourage others. My Dad is perfect example of this. Encouragement can happen in different ways. My dad encouraged me as we journeyed along the path of Mom's decline from cancer. At the time I didn't realize how his encouragement was working. It wasn't obvious, but is now.
1. My dad, Dan. I have gotten to know my dad much more over the last five years. I was always a daddy's girl and very close to my dad, but my mom was the more dominant personality in my life. It wasn't until my mom was diagnosed with cancer that I really, really got to know my dad as an adult. She was always the social director of the family. She mostly planned what went on. My dad was more the silent force. Anyone that knows him knows he is a man of few words, but his few words are very meaningful and purposeful. My mom's mental capabilities were GREATLY affected by the two large tumors in her head. She could no longer handle the roles she used to carry. Dad took over like any real man would do. He was her liaison. Mom also became very introverted the longer her disease progressed. For any of you that know her you know she is not naturally an introvert! Dad simply handled not only his affairs, but now hers also. He helped plan holiday get-togethers and family camping trips and outings. When I would go to visit them Mom would sleep most of the time so Dad and I just had more time together to banter about life and to contemplate my relationship with Mom that at times was very troubled. We just had more time together because I was no longer going shopping with mom or going to horse shows. We would just sit, watch Eli run around, and chat.
As hard as it was for Christy and I to watch Mom slowly die he watched his life mate truly lose her mind. I don't use that term lightly. The cancer slowly destroyed her mind. Mom would often act irrationally and say hurtful things and Dad always reminded me that it was the cancer. He encouraged me to be patient. Personality wise she was no longer the woman I had known for 31 years. He encouraged me (and Christy) to give her the benefit of the doubt and to remember the battle that was going on physically in her body. This encouragement was incredible. I mentioned earlier that Mom and I had our share of conflict in our relationship especially the last seven years of her life. I remember I had flown home quickly in January after getting word that Mom had a bad seizure and was in the hospital. Dad had been told there was no longer anything the doctors could do for Mom. He was sent home with medication for her to "keep her comfortable." I remember Dad and I sitting and talking one night. He said, "Anna, if there is anything you need to deal with before your mom dies you need to do that." No one knew how long she had left, but Dad's gut said it wasn't long and his wisdom knew once she was gone the dynamic for dealing with issues would be different. I had many things on my heart that I wanted to talk to Mom about, but I knew her mental capacity would not allow us to really dig into some tough issues. I simply had to forgive her for hurts...bottom line and end of story. I had to let it all go. I can never thank him enough for encouraging me to do this. He has also encouraged me to remember the mom I knew before cancer ravaged her body. I love him for this.
True encouragement is not saying what someone wants to hear, but also saying what they need to hear. His encouragement came in practical ways. It came at a time when we were all struggling to handle a horrid situation. He wasn't encouraging me to do the easy things, but the RIGHT things. I believe Biblical encouragement involves building someone up in Christ. It is encouraging them to reach beyond themselves and match their actions with Christ's actions. It is building up their confidence to be more than they thought they could be or to help hold on to hope when they are out of strength.
I have a dear friend that is extraordinary at encouragement. Through some very difficult times she has been one of my biggest cheerleaders behind my husband, dad, and sister. The best part about her is that you know she is being sincere. She's not just saying things she thinks you want to hear...she means what she says. She truly has brought me out of rotten moods. Dave is my biggest fan, but he can't fill every role to me. Sometimes a girl needs another girl, ya know?!
I'll shortly explain how she encourages me in ways completely different than my dad did in the case of losing my mom. I see her basically every day because we are both gym rats. She is one of those people that when she asks how you are doing she really wants to know. I know! How crazy is that?! She encourages me daily to be honest with her about how I'm feeling so we can deal with it...together. She also knows when I'm not being honest! As you know I have some serious hormone issues (that are improving by the way!) which can wreak havoc on essentially every aspect of my life. I know I'm safe to tell her the truth. She always calls me to her side so we can bear the burden together. When I feel emotional she helps talk through the situation in practical terms. She is such a positive influence on my life. She truly has a special gift from the Lord.
Stay tuned for the next entry to read more about how people I know are following Jesus' example and are practicing the gift of encouragement. My goal is at the end you will see how all of us can reach out to another soul and offer a helping hand, a kind word, and inspiration to become more than we thought we could be. No matter our trial or our walk of life we can help carry another's burden.
I don't know exactly how spiritual gifts work, but I do know that they are truly a gift from God. Romans 12:6 says they are. He graces us with His character which manifests in spiritual gifts. Like I said I don't know all there is to know about spiritual gifts, but I do think can people have multiple gifts. I believe we are born with the ability to practice these gifts, but because of the Fall in Eden we are selfish by nature. When we are born again in the Spirit He takes over and controls those gifts and perfects them in us. Gifts may arise that we never knew were there due to our relationship with Jesus Christ deepening. I know that has been true in my own life.
No one gets through this life unscathed. John 16:33 promises we will have trouble in this world. I told my friend yesterday that the trials in life can do one of two things to us. On one hand the trials can make us angry, bitter, foolish, and selfish. On the other hand the trials can make us brave, courageous, bold, and passionate, and selfless. One choice can paralyze us and render us ineffective for Christ. The other choice can put us in a position to refine our gifts and to use them to further God's Kingdom. The choice is ours. In my life I had no idea what my gifts were until I faced some really hard times.
I want to focus on the gift of encouragement right now. I think it is interesting that the Greek translation for the word encourage (exhort) is paracletos (paraclete) which means to call to one's side. I like that. Other definitions of encourage are: to inspire with courage, to stimulate by assistance, build up confidence, or promote. I will tell you about my dear friend at the beginning of this entry. She is just straight up encouraging. It appears to come so easily to her. I hope I have helped her realize God created this ability in her. She is a vessel for His encouragement. Jesus encouraged when He walked this earth and we are called to encourage one another. I will also talk about my dad. He encourages those around him with his wisdom on life.
I said earlier that our life circumstances and trials can either build up our gifts or minimize them. I can think of some people in my life that have used their trials to encourage others. My Dad is perfect example of this. Encouragement can happen in different ways. My dad encouraged me as we journeyed along the path of Mom's decline from cancer. At the time I didn't realize how his encouragement was working. It wasn't obvious, but is now.
1. My dad, Dan. I have gotten to know my dad much more over the last five years. I was always a daddy's girl and very close to my dad, but my mom was the more dominant personality in my life. It wasn't until my mom was diagnosed with cancer that I really, really got to know my dad as an adult. She was always the social director of the family. She mostly planned what went on. My dad was more the silent force. Anyone that knows him knows he is a man of few words, but his few words are very meaningful and purposeful. My mom's mental capabilities were GREATLY affected by the two large tumors in her head. She could no longer handle the roles she used to carry. Dad took over like any real man would do. He was her liaison. Mom also became very introverted the longer her disease progressed. For any of you that know her you know she is not naturally an introvert! Dad simply handled not only his affairs, but now hers also. He helped plan holiday get-togethers and family camping trips and outings. When I would go to visit them Mom would sleep most of the time so Dad and I just had more time together to banter about life and to contemplate my relationship with Mom that at times was very troubled. We just had more time together because I was no longer going shopping with mom or going to horse shows. We would just sit, watch Eli run around, and chat.
As hard as it was for Christy and I to watch Mom slowly die he watched his life mate truly lose her mind. I don't use that term lightly. The cancer slowly destroyed her mind. Mom would often act irrationally and say hurtful things and Dad always reminded me that it was the cancer. He encouraged me to be patient. Personality wise she was no longer the woman I had known for 31 years. He encouraged me (and Christy) to give her the benefit of the doubt and to remember the battle that was going on physically in her body. This encouragement was incredible. I mentioned earlier that Mom and I had our share of conflict in our relationship especially the last seven years of her life. I remember I had flown home quickly in January after getting word that Mom had a bad seizure and was in the hospital. Dad had been told there was no longer anything the doctors could do for Mom. He was sent home with medication for her to "keep her comfortable." I remember Dad and I sitting and talking one night. He said, "Anna, if there is anything you need to deal with before your mom dies you need to do that." No one knew how long she had left, but Dad's gut said it wasn't long and his wisdom knew once she was gone the dynamic for dealing with issues would be different. I had many things on my heart that I wanted to talk to Mom about, but I knew her mental capacity would not allow us to really dig into some tough issues. I simply had to forgive her for hurts...bottom line and end of story. I had to let it all go. I can never thank him enough for encouraging me to do this. He has also encouraged me to remember the mom I knew before cancer ravaged her body. I love him for this.
True encouragement is not saying what someone wants to hear, but also saying what they need to hear. His encouragement came in practical ways. It came at a time when we were all struggling to handle a horrid situation. He wasn't encouraging me to do the easy things, but the RIGHT things. I believe Biblical encouragement involves building someone up in Christ. It is encouraging them to reach beyond themselves and match their actions with Christ's actions. It is building up their confidence to be more than they thought they could be or to help hold on to hope when they are out of strength.
I have a dear friend that is extraordinary at encouragement. Through some very difficult times she has been one of my biggest cheerleaders behind my husband, dad, and sister. The best part about her is that you know she is being sincere. She's not just saying things she thinks you want to hear...she means what she says. She truly has brought me out of rotten moods. Dave is my biggest fan, but he can't fill every role to me. Sometimes a girl needs another girl, ya know?!
I'll shortly explain how she encourages me in ways completely different than my dad did in the case of losing my mom. I see her basically every day because we are both gym rats. She is one of those people that when she asks how you are doing she really wants to know. I know! How crazy is that?! She encourages me daily to be honest with her about how I'm feeling so we can deal with it...together. She also knows when I'm not being honest! As you know I have some serious hormone issues (that are improving by the way!) which can wreak havoc on essentially every aspect of my life. I know I'm safe to tell her the truth. She always calls me to her side so we can bear the burden together. When I feel emotional she helps talk through the situation in practical terms. She is such a positive influence on my life. She truly has a special gift from the Lord.
Stay tuned for the next entry to read more about how people I know are following Jesus' example and are practicing the gift of encouragement. My goal is at the end you will see how all of us can reach out to another soul and offer a helping hand, a kind word, and inspiration to become more than we thought we could be. No matter our trial or our walk of life we can help carry another's burden.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
It Really Isn't Too Hard!
The study guide that I have worked though the last 3-1/2 months has been outstanding. If you have not read Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer I highly recommend it. I read it a few years ago, but think one could/should read it once a year. The companion guide is also outstanding!
Deuteronomy 30:11) His commandments (obeying) are not too difficult. It is withing my reach.
"Dear God, it's me Anna. I would like to ask for unending blessings today. If something difficult does come up please remove the trial immediately so I will not be inconvenienced in the least bit. Oh and about this other thing that I'm dealing with that I don't like...can you please take it way like yesterday? Everyone else has it waaaaay easier than I do. I've pretty much learned everything there is to learn from this. It's just really hard to do the right thing and turn my pain into positivity so please make it all easy. In Jesus' Name, Amen."
Okay, maybe I have never said those exact words in a prayer before, but I have wanted to. I have thought them and prayed them in a roundabout sort of way. I for sure would prefer an easy path. Sometimes it all seems so difficult. Here is HUGE lie that Satan places before me. I think I have it the hardest and everyone else has it much, much easier than I. Why is everything so hard for me I ask Him. Following and obeying God is hard. Anything worth anything IS hard. I have been guilty at declaring spiritual warfare when times are tough or God's promises are delayed. The Bible says spiritual warfare is real. Read Ephesians! God also shuts doors in front of us. This is true. In my frustration I have cried "spiritual warfare" and have been certain God has told me no. Well you know what? Life is hard. Followers of Christ lose jobs, get cancer, have health problems, lose children, get the short end of the stick, get lied about, abused, killed, martyred, etc. The list is endless (and scary). While we know the battle between good and evil is raging in the unseen, God does allow His children to endure hardships in this life.
John 16:33) I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!
Here is the same verse from the Amplified Bible. It's great!
John 16:33) I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]
Dave works for Procter and Gamble as most of you know. As an outsider I get a kick out of hearing all their acronyms and types of words they use and how. Part of Dave's job involves reviewing the job performance of others. He makes their "opportunities" known to them so they can grow in their job and become a better part of the P&G team. An opportunity in an area that needs work. I have many opportunities! Using this words sets a positive tone. Going through hardships gives us opportunity for growth and John 16:33 promises we can take heart because has overcome evil. It usually doesn't seem like it especially when we are in the deep, dark woods.
Back to my original point about living an obedient life. It is hard. So how does this play into recognizing our opportunities? The first verse I listed out is from Deuteronomy. I am reminded how relevant the Old Testament really is. This verse is assuring us that obedience is possible. It is possible to take our pain, frustration, depression, discouragement, etc. and let God shape it into something that brings glory to God and furthers His Kingdom. He desires us to count it joy that we have hardships. Looking for the opportunity in our pain is Biblical and Deuteronomy 30:11 says it is possible. Genesis 50:20 is one of my favorite verses. Joseph's story has inspired me greatly time and time again. God can take painful circumstances and turn them into something beautiful.
Genesis 50:20) You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
I enjoy reading work by Pastor Adrian Rogers. He uses the term "navel gazing." It means to look down at our navel while we are going through hard times. We ask why me, why now, when will this be over for me, everyone has it better than I do, what did I do to cause this, why doesn't God love me, etc. I am challenged to take my eyes off my own navel and look outward. How can I obey God in the midst of this? Who opportunities does God have for me that I can pass on to others? How can I really burn Satan by glorifying the Lord through this? While praying for spiritual protection is Biblical and important let's not always assume every hardship is warfare. God may be allowing it to do a greater work in me and in turn whose lives cross my path.
Romans 5:3-5) Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation. Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.
Deuteronomy 30:11) His commandments (obeying) are not too difficult. It is withing my reach.
"Dear God, it's me Anna. I would like to ask for unending blessings today. If something difficult does come up please remove the trial immediately so I will not be inconvenienced in the least bit. Oh and about this other thing that I'm dealing with that I don't like...can you please take it way like yesterday? Everyone else has it waaaaay easier than I do. I've pretty much learned everything there is to learn from this. It's just really hard to do the right thing and turn my pain into positivity so please make it all easy. In Jesus' Name, Amen."
Okay, maybe I have never said those exact words in a prayer before, but I have wanted to. I have thought them and prayed them in a roundabout sort of way. I for sure would prefer an easy path. Sometimes it all seems so difficult. Here is HUGE lie that Satan places before me. I think I have it the hardest and everyone else has it much, much easier than I. Why is everything so hard for me I ask Him. Following and obeying God is hard. Anything worth anything IS hard. I have been guilty at declaring spiritual warfare when times are tough or God's promises are delayed. The Bible says spiritual warfare is real. Read Ephesians! God also shuts doors in front of us. This is true. In my frustration I have cried "spiritual warfare" and have been certain God has told me no. Well you know what? Life is hard. Followers of Christ lose jobs, get cancer, have health problems, lose children, get the short end of the stick, get lied about, abused, killed, martyred, etc. The list is endless (and scary). While we know the battle between good and evil is raging in the unseen, God does allow His children to endure hardships in this life.
John 16:33) I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!
Here is the same verse from the Amplified Bible. It's great!
John 16:33) I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]
Dave works for Procter and Gamble as most of you know. As an outsider I get a kick out of hearing all their acronyms and types of words they use and how. Part of Dave's job involves reviewing the job performance of others. He makes their "opportunities" known to them so they can grow in their job and become a better part of the P&G team. An opportunity in an area that needs work. I have many opportunities! Using this words sets a positive tone. Going through hardships gives us opportunity for growth and John 16:33 promises we can take heart because has overcome evil. It usually doesn't seem like it especially when we are in the deep, dark woods.
Back to my original point about living an obedient life. It is hard. So how does this play into recognizing our opportunities? The first verse I listed out is from Deuteronomy. I am reminded how relevant the Old Testament really is. This verse is assuring us that obedience is possible. It is possible to take our pain, frustration, depression, discouragement, etc. and let God shape it into something that brings glory to God and furthers His Kingdom. He desires us to count it joy that we have hardships. Looking for the opportunity in our pain is Biblical and Deuteronomy 30:11 says it is possible. Genesis 50:20 is one of my favorite verses. Joseph's story has inspired me greatly time and time again. God can take painful circumstances and turn them into something beautiful.
Genesis 50:20) You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
I enjoy reading work by Pastor Adrian Rogers. He uses the term "navel gazing." It means to look down at our navel while we are going through hard times. We ask why me, why now, when will this be over for me, everyone has it better than I do, what did I do to cause this, why doesn't God love me, etc. I am challenged to take my eyes off my own navel and look outward. How can I obey God in the midst of this? Who opportunities does God have for me that I can pass on to others? How can I really burn Satan by glorifying the Lord through this? While praying for spiritual protection is Biblical and important let's not always assume every hardship is warfare. God may be allowing it to do a greater work in me and in turn whose lives cross my path.
Romans 5:3-5) Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance. And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation. Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.
Monday, September 17, 2012
All in a Day's Run
Romans 8:6-9) The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.
I am on Day 86 of my Joyce Meyer devotional book. It's been great and I only have 14 days left. I wonder what God will lead me? Joyce says that walking in the Spirit is going with God's flow. We have all heard the saying "go with the flow." She stresses we must go with God's flow. I like that idea. Going with His flow is walking in the Spirit which means we are thinking and acting in a manner that is pleasing to God, trusting Him for each step. One way I can easily evaluate where I am at with this is to look truthfully at my thought life.
Am I choosing to think the best of people? Even politicians whom I adamantly disagree with for example? Am I choosing optimistic thoughts in regards to myself and my own struggles? Even as I write this I realize I have some work to do (especially on the second one!:-)).
I can think of a time recently when I actually did have the mind of Christ and going with God's flow. It isn't something that comes natural because we are human. It is something we must fight to have! It was this past Saturday actually. Those of you who know me know that I am an avid runner and have been for many years. I am guilty of overdoing it in a big way at times. People often ask if I'm training for something. When I say no they look at me strangely! A few of my symptoms from my hormonal imbalances have become even more problematic over the last year or so. They have made running and exercise extremely difficult. These two things have been a huge part of my life so it's quite upsetting when I can't do the things I used to be able to do. What was once easy has become very, very hard.
Saturday I woke up and had a thought. I would face a once-easy running workout head on. I looked at my old running logs on MapMyRun on my Iphone and became angry. I could not believe the times I had been logging previously and now can't. Being my extremely determined self I decided I was going to do a similar workout and give it all I had. It was very early in the morning so I left Dave a note that I would be back later.
This was without a doubt THEE hardest run of my entire life. My lungs felt like they were bleeding and every muscle in my body screamed for me to stop. They obviously don't know me! I refused to allow myself to stop. I ran with no headphones and only concerned myself with the voice on my app telling me my mileage and pace. I got angry at this run. All I heard was my breathing, the pounding of my feet, and the voice.
As I pushed on I became overwhelmed with emotion. It wasn't the fact that a run I have done 1,000 times was unbearably hard or the anger over the medical mistreatment I have received. It was not frustration at God or the resentment at a body that just doesn't work right, it was an overwhelming thankfulness to my God for allowing me to go through what I have for the last six plus years. I am so incredibly grateful for Him allowing each tear and sorrow. He loved me enough to not leave me like I was...a spoiled, immature Christian. I am so thankful He has taught me huge, big lessons and small, seemingly unimportant lessons. I appreciate so much more now. I see life as more than selfish ambition.
All of this flooded every inch of me as my feet pounded the pavement. Running has meant different thing to me at different times in my life. It has meant a way to fit into my favorite pair of Lucky jeans. It has enabled me to eat a second scoop of ice cream or to relieve stress. It has been a social outlet with my friends and I. It has meant challenging myself physically in ways I never thought possible. This day it was to give glory to God.
Over the last nine months to a year I have not been able to sing in church. It is like I have no emotion, nothing left. After my mom passed away I cried during worship at church. Like clock work the music would start and my tears flowed. More recently it has felt like I have been out of tears. Funny thing, when I run I need my praise and worship music (or my BFF Kristin to talk to). When I run my soul can worship through the music. Exerting myself with a nice, hard run strips me of me. It makes my insides raw and releases something powerful within me. I remember a run in particular. My mom was on her deathbed and I had a flight scheduled for about noon back to Ohio. I had nervous energy and time to kill so I went running on the treadmill at the gym. I ran 12 miles on a treadmill...isn't that the craziest thing?! I immediately drove to the airport and boarded a plane. When Eli and I arrived at our destination I could hardly stand up because my muscles were so tight and sore! That still makes me laugh!
So back to my run yesterday...as I finished "the hardest run known to mankind" God whispered another thought to me. He has allowed me to be torn down over the last six years. I truly am a different person now. I feel like I was stripped of everything I thought was important. I am not being rebuilt though. He is not rebuilding the same person I was. He is rebuilding a new Anna. My appointment with Dr. Vliet set the tone for a newness. God used her to began a new plan for me. He is building me into the woman He designed me to be before I was even a glimmer in my father's eye.
If I had shied away from facing this challenge head on I would not have been blessed with this divine experience. I fully understood after my run finished that I had the mind of Christ and I was going with His flow during this hour because of this I did I experienced tremendous closeness with my heavenly Father. God lifted me towards heaven. Had I had a fleshly mind at this time I would have been mad as a hornet (been there done that too many times to count) during and after my run. My mood would have been just plain foul. I would have dwelt on all the reasons this run stunk. What I used to be able to do and now can't. I would have wanted to find the doctors that messed me up and smack the crap out of them. No! Instead I had an appointment with God, up close and personal.
In closing we must continue to fight the battle against our flesh. It robs us of joy, a joy that is sustainable during difficult times. I am not better than you...I am not holier. I struggle with all the same things. What I learned during this workout was that there is a stark contrast between the mind of Christ and that of the flesh (human nature). I literally experienced it. After I realized how thankful I was for the misery I've experienced I said this to myself as I ran, "whoa Anna...that was NOT you!" I laughed to myself! The mind of the flesh mentioned in the opening verses refers to our human sense and reason without the Holy Spirit. These are those carnal thoughts and purposes. Walking in the Spirit is allowing the Spirit to lead us solely. We are to think and act in a Godly manner. As hard as it is it is possible to retrain our minds to think differently. We just have to stay on top of the war that rages for our minds.
I am on Day 86 of my Joyce Meyer devotional book. It's been great and I only have 14 days left. I wonder what God will lead me? Joyce says that walking in the Spirit is going with God's flow. We have all heard the saying "go with the flow." She stresses we must go with God's flow. I like that idea. Going with His flow is walking in the Spirit which means we are thinking and acting in a manner that is pleasing to God, trusting Him for each step. One way I can easily evaluate where I am at with this is to look truthfully at my thought life.
Am I choosing to think the best of people? Even politicians whom I adamantly disagree with for example? Am I choosing optimistic thoughts in regards to myself and my own struggles? Even as I write this I realize I have some work to do (especially on the second one!:-)).
I can think of a time recently when I actually did have the mind of Christ and going with God's flow. It isn't something that comes natural because we are human. It is something we must fight to have! It was this past Saturday actually. Those of you who know me know that I am an avid runner and have been for many years. I am guilty of overdoing it in a big way at times. People often ask if I'm training for something. When I say no they look at me strangely! A few of my symptoms from my hormonal imbalances have become even more problematic over the last year or so. They have made running and exercise extremely difficult. These two things have been a huge part of my life so it's quite upsetting when I can't do the things I used to be able to do. What was once easy has become very, very hard.
Saturday I woke up and had a thought. I would face a once-easy running workout head on. I looked at my old running logs on MapMyRun on my Iphone and became angry. I could not believe the times I had been logging previously and now can't. Being my extremely determined self I decided I was going to do a similar workout and give it all I had. It was very early in the morning so I left Dave a note that I would be back later.
This was without a doubt THEE hardest run of my entire life. My lungs felt like they were bleeding and every muscle in my body screamed for me to stop. They obviously don't know me! I refused to allow myself to stop. I ran with no headphones and only concerned myself with the voice on my app telling me my mileage and pace. I got angry at this run. All I heard was my breathing, the pounding of my feet, and the voice.
As I pushed on I became overwhelmed with emotion. It wasn't the fact that a run I have done 1,000 times was unbearably hard or the anger over the medical mistreatment I have received. It was not frustration at God or the resentment at a body that just doesn't work right, it was an overwhelming thankfulness to my God for allowing me to go through what I have for the last six plus years. I am so incredibly grateful for Him allowing each tear and sorrow. He loved me enough to not leave me like I was...a spoiled, immature Christian. I am so thankful He has taught me huge, big lessons and small, seemingly unimportant lessons. I appreciate so much more now. I see life as more than selfish ambition.
All of this flooded every inch of me as my feet pounded the pavement. Running has meant different thing to me at different times in my life. It has meant a way to fit into my favorite pair of Lucky jeans. It has enabled me to eat a second scoop of ice cream or to relieve stress. It has been a social outlet with my friends and I. It has meant challenging myself physically in ways I never thought possible. This day it was to give glory to God.
Over the last nine months to a year I have not been able to sing in church. It is like I have no emotion, nothing left. After my mom passed away I cried during worship at church. Like clock work the music would start and my tears flowed. More recently it has felt like I have been out of tears. Funny thing, when I run I need my praise and worship music (or my BFF Kristin to talk to). When I run my soul can worship through the music. Exerting myself with a nice, hard run strips me of me. It makes my insides raw and releases something powerful within me. I remember a run in particular. My mom was on her deathbed and I had a flight scheduled for about noon back to Ohio. I had nervous energy and time to kill so I went running on the treadmill at the gym. I ran 12 miles on a treadmill...isn't that the craziest thing?! I immediately drove to the airport and boarded a plane. When Eli and I arrived at our destination I could hardly stand up because my muscles were so tight and sore! That still makes me laugh!
So back to my run yesterday...as I finished "the hardest run known to mankind" God whispered another thought to me. He has allowed me to be torn down over the last six years. I truly am a different person now. I feel like I was stripped of everything I thought was important. I am not being rebuilt though. He is not rebuilding the same person I was. He is rebuilding a new Anna. My appointment with Dr. Vliet set the tone for a newness. God used her to began a new plan for me. He is building me into the woman He designed me to be before I was even a glimmer in my father's eye.
If I had shied away from facing this challenge head on I would not have been blessed with this divine experience. I fully understood after my run finished that I had the mind of Christ and I was going with His flow during this hour because of this I did I experienced tremendous closeness with my heavenly Father. God lifted me towards heaven. Had I had a fleshly mind at this time I would have been mad as a hornet (been there done that too many times to count) during and after my run. My mood would have been just plain foul. I would have dwelt on all the reasons this run stunk. What I used to be able to do and now can't. I would have wanted to find the doctors that messed me up and smack the crap out of them. No! Instead I had an appointment with God, up close and personal.
In closing we must continue to fight the battle against our flesh. It robs us of joy, a joy that is sustainable during difficult times. I am not better than you...I am not holier. I struggle with all the same things. What I learned during this workout was that there is a stark contrast between the mind of Christ and that of the flesh (human nature). I literally experienced it. After I realized how thankful I was for the misery I've experienced I said this to myself as I ran, "whoa Anna...that was NOT you!" I laughed to myself! The mind of the flesh mentioned in the opening verses refers to our human sense and reason without the Holy Spirit. These are those carnal thoughts and purposes. Walking in the Spirit is allowing the Spirit to lead us solely. We are to think and act in a Godly manner. As hard as it is it is possible to retrain our minds to think differently. We just have to stay on top of the war that rages for our minds.
Monday, September 10, 2012
The Gift
Hi everyone! I apologize for the time in between blog entries. The topic for today's entry has been brewing for about a week now.
Dave and I had a big Labor Day weekend. We traveled to Tucson Arizona to see a new doctor. I had mentioned it in a previous blog. The appointment had been scheduled since July 5th so we had been anticipating the trip for nearly two months. During those two months I literally felt like I had a war going on inside me. The Bible is clear on spiritual warfare and the existence of it. Ephesians 6 is the chapter that dives into the whole concept of the war that is being waged against us believers. I felt like I had a devil on one shoulder saying, "this appointment will be a waste. You are spending all this money and for what? NOTHING. The doctor won't be helpful and will send you away with no hope." The angel on my other shoulder assured me this was going to be good. No, not just good...incredible. The angel was puffed up with so much hope. The devil was slumped over defeated. I stuck close to God during this time. If you read my last entry you know where my happy place is and believe me, I spent a great deal of time bowed before His throne just wanting to be near Him.
We left Thursday at 4 a.m. for the airport in Atlanta. Actually I had been awake since 1:45 a.m. because I couldn't sleep. I felt so many emotions. I felt excited, nervous, hopeful, terrified...the list goes on. Dr. Vliet uses the term "petrified excitement" in one of her books and that is exactly how I felt. We had a direct flight into Phoenix as to not risk any delays on connecting flights. We arrived on time into Phoenix and then headed for Tucson. On a side note, the desert is completely weird. Neither of us had been there before and were fascinated with all the "brown-ness." I do think cacti are just the most interesting things! We had time to takes showers and rest a bit before heading to my appointment.
When I head Dr. Vliet's voice coming from her office I immediately felt a sense of calmness. She had done a series of radio shows on the topic of hormonal imbalances a few years back. I came across them in June and listened to them all. Actually, I listened to some more than once and even more than five times. In each one she was talking about me. They gave me such hope. So hearing this radio voice gave me a sense of belonging. She also had a beautiful picture hanging on the wall of the waiting area. It was a piece of calligraphy art. It spoke to my soul. Dave took notice of the book sitting on the table that she authored years back. The title? It's My Ovaries, Stupid! Back to the art. I bet your curious as to what it said, huh?! Well, read below!
Hebrews 13:2) Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.
Before it was my appointment time Dr. Vliet came out and introduced herself. I had included practically a book of information for her and she thanked me for sending it. I had also included a personal letter and in it I shared how Romans 8:28 was my peace. If your not familiar with that verse you can read it below. I felt such peace when I knew she took the time to read my information and that she clings to Romans 8:28 personally too. She said it was her favorite Bible verse too and she had a version of calligraphy art at home with that verse written out. Dave looked at me and simply smiled.
Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose
It was our time to meet with Dr. Vliet. My hands were sweating and I could feel my heart speed up. Why was I so nervous for this appointment you might ask. The main reasons follow: 1. we traveled across the entire country to see her, 2. I have not had good experiences with doctors, and 3. I so desperately wanted help (and hope). I won't go into all the details, but I will say this. It was an absolutely INCREDIBLE experience. Actually there are not enough adjectives to describe the appointment and Dr. Vliet. She and I were kindred spirits and there was truly a bond formed in the midst of the appointment. I knew I would be asked to start at square one. You know, start from the beginning. I dreaded this because it is just painful and I have done it with many doctors to no avail. It felt different when Dr. Vliet asked because I could sense her spirit. I could see if her eyes she truly cared about my words and listened. She wrote a book that I read titled, Screaming to be Heard: Hormone Connections Women Suspect and Doctors Still Ignore. I have screamed to be heard for years and now someone is hearing me...and cares. She talked to Dave and I for nearly 3-1/2 hours. I was not forced to share eight years of information in a seven minute block of time.
I told my friends I feel like the Titanic is beginning to turn another direction. Dr. Vliet did not have a magical quick-fix, but what she did offer was solid and sound knowledge that was backed by years of experience and by dependable studies on hormone care. She (and her staff) quickly became family. At the end of the appointment I gave her the biggest hug ever. Dave and I went to dinner afterwards and talked about all the helpful things Dr. Vliet said. I think we were both overwhelmed with information and needed time for it to soak in. I was so glad Dave was there with me. My journey has affected him greatly and in ways that are personal just to him.
So how does the title of my blog entry come into play? God simply gave us a gift. Satan was quick to try and spoil it though. What if she's wrong? What if Dr. Vliet still can't help you? What if this appointment wouldn't have turned out good? If your faith was sooooooo great than you would be happy regardless? What if God hadn't done with for you? For a few minutes I started to ponder those points. Well, what if He hadn't allowed this appointment to exceed my expectations? Then it hit me...this was a gift pure and simple. I don't know why God allowed it to go so well (beyond well). Why does He allow me to get Christmas gifts? Why did He provide such an amazing husband for me? A healthy child? My salvation? God taught me something rather quickly as I was thinking about these things. He told me He gave me a gift. I didn't deserve it just like I don't deserve His salvation. He also shared with me that He has some B-I-G plans for me in regards to this appointment and my relationship with Dr. Vliet. He told me to just say "thank You." As I began the healing process I have decided that my actions speak louder than my words. While God wants our mouths to say "thank you" He also wants our actions to say it as well. So stay tuned...the journey continues.
Ephesians 3:20) Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Psalm 30:11-12) You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.
Dave and I had a big Labor Day weekend. We traveled to Tucson Arizona to see a new doctor. I had mentioned it in a previous blog. The appointment had been scheduled since July 5th so we had been anticipating the trip for nearly two months. During those two months I literally felt like I had a war going on inside me. The Bible is clear on spiritual warfare and the existence of it. Ephesians 6 is the chapter that dives into the whole concept of the war that is being waged against us believers. I felt like I had a devil on one shoulder saying, "this appointment will be a waste. You are spending all this money and for what? NOTHING. The doctor won't be helpful and will send you away with no hope." The angel on my other shoulder assured me this was going to be good. No, not just good...incredible. The angel was puffed up with so much hope. The devil was slumped over defeated. I stuck close to God during this time. If you read my last entry you know where my happy place is and believe me, I spent a great deal of time bowed before His throne just wanting to be near Him.
We left Thursday at 4 a.m. for the airport in Atlanta. Actually I had been awake since 1:45 a.m. because I couldn't sleep. I felt so many emotions. I felt excited, nervous, hopeful, terrified...the list goes on. Dr. Vliet uses the term "petrified excitement" in one of her books and that is exactly how I felt. We had a direct flight into Phoenix as to not risk any delays on connecting flights. We arrived on time into Phoenix and then headed for Tucson. On a side note, the desert is completely weird. Neither of us had been there before and were fascinated with all the "brown-ness." I do think cacti are just the most interesting things! We had time to takes showers and rest a bit before heading to my appointment.
When I head Dr. Vliet's voice coming from her office I immediately felt a sense of calmness. She had done a series of radio shows on the topic of hormonal imbalances a few years back. I came across them in June and listened to them all. Actually, I listened to some more than once and even more than five times. In each one she was talking about me. They gave me such hope. So hearing this radio voice gave me a sense of belonging. She also had a beautiful picture hanging on the wall of the waiting area. It was a piece of calligraphy art. It spoke to my soul. Dave took notice of the book sitting on the table that she authored years back. The title? It's My Ovaries, Stupid! Back to the art. I bet your curious as to what it said, huh?! Well, read below!
Hebrews 13:2) Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.
Before it was my appointment time Dr. Vliet came out and introduced herself. I had included practically a book of information for her and she thanked me for sending it. I had also included a personal letter and in it I shared how Romans 8:28 was my peace. If your not familiar with that verse you can read it below. I felt such peace when I knew she took the time to read my information and that she clings to Romans 8:28 personally too. She said it was her favorite Bible verse too and she had a version of calligraphy art at home with that verse written out. Dave looked at me and simply smiled.
Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose
It was our time to meet with Dr. Vliet. My hands were sweating and I could feel my heart speed up. Why was I so nervous for this appointment you might ask. The main reasons follow: 1. we traveled across the entire country to see her, 2. I have not had good experiences with doctors, and 3. I so desperately wanted help (and hope). I won't go into all the details, but I will say this. It was an absolutely INCREDIBLE experience. Actually there are not enough adjectives to describe the appointment and Dr. Vliet. She and I were kindred spirits and there was truly a bond formed in the midst of the appointment. I knew I would be asked to start at square one. You know, start from the beginning. I dreaded this because it is just painful and I have done it with many doctors to no avail. It felt different when Dr. Vliet asked because I could sense her spirit. I could see if her eyes she truly cared about my words and listened. She wrote a book that I read titled, Screaming to be Heard: Hormone Connections Women Suspect and Doctors Still Ignore. I have screamed to be heard for years and now someone is hearing me...and cares. She talked to Dave and I for nearly 3-1/2 hours. I was not forced to share eight years of information in a seven minute block of time.
I told my friends I feel like the Titanic is beginning to turn another direction. Dr. Vliet did not have a magical quick-fix, but what she did offer was solid and sound knowledge that was backed by years of experience and by dependable studies on hormone care. She (and her staff) quickly became family. At the end of the appointment I gave her the biggest hug ever. Dave and I went to dinner afterwards and talked about all the helpful things Dr. Vliet said. I think we were both overwhelmed with information and needed time for it to soak in. I was so glad Dave was there with me. My journey has affected him greatly and in ways that are personal just to him.
So how does the title of my blog entry come into play? God simply gave us a gift. Satan was quick to try and spoil it though. What if she's wrong? What if Dr. Vliet still can't help you? What if this appointment wouldn't have turned out good? If your faith was sooooooo great than you would be happy regardless? What if God hadn't done with for you? For a few minutes I started to ponder those points. Well, what if He hadn't allowed this appointment to exceed my expectations? Then it hit me...this was a gift pure and simple. I don't know why God allowed it to go so well (beyond well). Why does He allow me to get Christmas gifts? Why did He provide such an amazing husband for me? A healthy child? My salvation? God taught me something rather quickly as I was thinking about these things. He told me He gave me a gift. I didn't deserve it just like I don't deserve His salvation. He also shared with me that He has some B-I-G plans for me in regards to this appointment and my relationship with Dr. Vliet. He told me to just say "thank You." As I began the healing process I have decided that my actions speak louder than my words. While God wants our mouths to say "thank you" He also wants our actions to say it as well. So stay tuned...the journey continues.
Ephesians 3:20) Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Psalm 30:11-12) You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.
Monday, August 20, 2012
My Place
Matthew 6:31) Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? Or, What are we going to have to drink? Or, What are we going to have to wear?
Joyce believes demons whisper in our ear, "what are you going to do?" I certainly have heard this too many times to count. Well meaning friends ask in crisis, "what are you going to do?!" God wants us to be responsible of course and He leads us to do something just at the right time. Sometimes He even calls us to do nothing! I am not referring to those times. I am talking about the anxious whispers. I know the difference, but many times the true voice is drown out by worrisome static. The only way to improve on deciphering the whispers is to dive into getting to know God. Satan's goal is for us to act on our own without seeking guidance from God. In Matthew 6:31 God clearly instructs us to not worry so when I do it is sin. My previous blog entry was on this very topic.
One way I combat worry is to visualize. When worry grips me I visualize myself kneeling before God's throne. In all my time doing this I have never seen God's face or His body. I have seen what I think are His lower leg and ankles although even that is a fuzzy picture. He is on a throne. I picture myself kneeling before Him. There are no angels, trumpets, or lightening. I am not automatically given answers or some huge new revelation. It is a humbling experience and I am reminded of something bigger than myself. It also helps me focus on Him and not what I am worried about. What I focus on becomes big.
So when Satan whispers in his hateful voice, "what are you going to do?!" At that time I place myself before the throne. I don't even say anything. God knows there are not words many times that can voice the depth of my worry. I am silent before Him just basking in His presence. I am not saying prayer is not important. The Bible says to pray at all times in all kinds of circumstances (1 Thess. 5:16-18). What I am saying is that in those times when you can't find the words or just want to be in His presence I go to my place before the throne. God knows there would be times when we didn't know what to pray. If you are like me you feel like you have said everything there is to say. Your mouth feels empty. God knew there would be days like this (or months or years).
Romans 8:26-27) In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
I have placed myself before His throne and recited this verse. I have said, "God, I am out of words...my burden is so deep..." Like I said before I visualize myself literally before His thrown. I have found it is a tremendously peaceful place to be. The connection with Him is very real and it truly feels like my spirit is praying to the Lord without vocal words
Satan's lies start with a whisper and soon turn into a blasting sound. At that point we become frantic. "What am I going to do," we ask in the middle of the night. Face it everything seems more pressing in the middle of the night. Our mind is a battlefield and the most intense wars seem to occur between 10 pm and 7 am! Often times when I would ask my mom how she was doing she would say, "good...really. Those night wolves were attacking though." She meant that she getting along well during the sunlight hours and when the moon came out so did the ravenous wolves.
In closing, I encourage you to spend time getting to know the Lord. It is endlessly rewarding. I do not mean to memorize Scripture just to memorize it, but really invest time in knowing God. My visualizing technique is not the only way to go. You will need to ask God to show you something that can help you. I am nowhere near perfect and I worry way too much, but I am improving battle by battle. I keep confessing the sin and keep moving forward. I am better and quicker at recognizing Satan's hateful whispers and screams and I plan to continue to grow in this area. I encourage you to do the same!
Joyce believes demons whisper in our ear, "what are you going to do?" I certainly have heard this too many times to count. Well meaning friends ask in crisis, "what are you going to do?!" God wants us to be responsible of course and He leads us to do something just at the right time. Sometimes He even calls us to do nothing! I am not referring to those times. I am talking about the anxious whispers. I know the difference, but many times the true voice is drown out by worrisome static. The only way to improve on deciphering the whispers is to dive into getting to know God. Satan's goal is for us to act on our own without seeking guidance from God. In Matthew 6:31 God clearly instructs us to not worry so when I do it is sin. My previous blog entry was on this very topic.
One way I combat worry is to visualize. When worry grips me I visualize myself kneeling before God's throne. In all my time doing this I have never seen God's face or His body. I have seen what I think are His lower leg and ankles although even that is a fuzzy picture. He is on a throne. I picture myself kneeling before Him. There are no angels, trumpets, or lightening. I am not automatically given answers or some huge new revelation. It is a humbling experience and I am reminded of something bigger than myself. It also helps me focus on Him and not what I am worried about. What I focus on becomes big.
So when Satan whispers in his hateful voice, "what are you going to do?!" At that time I place myself before the throne. I don't even say anything. God knows there are not words many times that can voice the depth of my worry. I am silent before Him just basking in His presence. I am not saying prayer is not important. The Bible says to pray at all times in all kinds of circumstances (1 Thess. 5:16-18). What I am saying is that in those times when you can't find the words or just want to be in His presence I go to my place before the throne. God knows there would be times when we didn't know what to pray. If you are like me you feel like you have said everything there is to say. Your mouth feels empty. God knew there would be days like this (or months or years).
Romans 8:26-27) In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
I have placed myself before His throne and recited this verse. I have said, "God, I am out of words...my burden is so deep..." Like I said before I visualize myself literally before His thrown. I have found it is a tremendously peaceful place to be. The connection with Him is very real and it truly feels like my spirit is praying to the Lord without vocal words
Satan's lies start with a whisper and soon turn into a blasting sound. At that point we become frantic. "What am I going to do," we ask in the middle of the night. Face it everything seems more pressing in the middle of the night. Our mind is a battlefield and the most intense wars seem to occur between 10 pm and 7 am! Often times when I would ask my mom how she was doing she would say, "good...really. Those night wolves were attacking though." She meant that she getting along well during the sunlight hours and when the moon came out so did the ravenous wolves.
In closing, I encourage you to spend time getting to know the Lord. It is endlessly rewarding. I do not mean to memorize Scripture just to memorize it, but really invest time in knowing God. My visualizing technique is not the only way to go. You will need to ask God to show you something that can help you. I am nowhere near perfect and I worry way too much, but I am improving battle by battle. I keep confessing the sin and keep moving forward. I am better and quicker at recognizing Satan's hateful whispers and screams and I plan to continue to grow in this area. I encourage you to do the same!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Something More
Ah worry. It is something we all deal with. Some folks even boast about their ability to worry like it makes others think they care more. Or what about worry martyrs? They wear worry on their sleeve like a badge of honor. Some even treat their worry like one of their own children. I tend to fall somewhere in between all of these titles. One thing I am getting better about is telling God when I'm worried. I figure He knows anyway so why hide it. I also have recognized that worry is disobedience to the Father. I am not pointing a finger at you because I tell myself the same thing. It isn't healthy and it isn't Biblical. I get very annoyed when someone says, "oh don't worry..." It's like I am going to say, "oh okay, just because you said that I won't be...thanks." I have found that worry isn't something I automatically switch off and on and it can be a kind of addiction. So let me share with you some things God gave me yesterday on the topic while I did my study. Actually, I completed my Bible study at the pool while Eli swam around. He was the only kid there so the two lifeguards had his full attention. They loved him...threw him in the water, tried to teach him Spanish, and goofed around with him. Anyway, I digress...
Matthew 6:25-27) "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
I have read this verse like a hundred times over the course of my life. The Word of God is alive and active so each time I read it I am given something new. Let me clear one thing up before we dig in. These definitions will come in handy as we complete this study. Our spirit is where God lives. It is home to the Holy Spirit if we are believers and followers of Jesus Christ. Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions. The soul tell us what we think, what we want, and how we feel.
Allowing Satan to overtake our minds with thought of worry, dread, doubt, and concern is an act of my will. I allow thoughts in and decide what I will do with them. Right now is a very hard time for me. It is one the most difficult times in my life. I am SO grateful for a supportive husband, loving family, and Godly friends. I literally feel like there is an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other in regards to my thought life and attitude in how I deal with my challenges. Basing my decisions and what God will or won't do based on my emotions is acting fleshly. Romans 8:8 says living a life of the flesh does not please God. I may be a slow learner, but one thing that I have learned is that I truly want to please God. The verse below is very direct...not much room for personal interpretation there!
Romans 8:8) Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
Living according to my flesh is a very superficial way of living. God is doing so much more than I can fathom on a far deeper level, a Spirit level. When I live on this level I will have peace regardless of my circumstances. To be honest, I am yet to reach this level. I certainly can grow in this, but will never reach perfection this side of heaven. One thing I am sure of is that I am much farther along than I was even yesterday. Joyce Meyer says often I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I was. I love that! As I live faith to faith I get better and better at realizing what I feel is not always based on God's fact.
If I can't trust my human emotions what can I trust? Or whom can I trust? The Spirit. I firmly believe I miss a great deal of His promptings because my soul is so stirred up. I often feel like I live out in the wilderness struggling to hear God. I believe it is because of the static in my soul. Satan lies and says God doesn't care therefore I need to worry. Someone has to worry about this I tell myself! God's doing nothing I say! I see worry, dread, doubt, etc. as static in my soul. The noise drowns out the Spirit's messages for me.
There are much greater things than me getting what I want. Like I said before, I currently am going through some really hard things with my health and I really want to be well yet I know there are greater things for me other than worrying over never getting better. The time I spend worrying can be spent thanking Him for what I do have and for talking to Him about how I can use my experiences for good and to further His Kingdom. Is is possible to resist the lies of the devil. It takes a lot of effort on my part because I have to stand guard. I have to memorize Scripture and say it even when I don't FEEL like it's true. I must vocalize His Word so the I can hear the Truth. I have to stop and talk to God and shut off the world to listen to Him.
I am determined, with God's help, to overcome worry and dread. I will not give in nor will I allow Satan to determine my steps. I am not a quitter. I do not want to live by my flesh because I truly want to please God. I want Him to look upon me with smile. Genesis 50:20 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. It assures me that what Satan meant for harm God turned for good. I don't feel it now, but I choose to see the good. So when that devil on one shoulder is noisy I will continue to do the next thing to the glory of God. I claim Galatians 6:9!
Galatians 6:9) Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Matthew 6:25-27) "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
I have read this verse like a hundred times over the course of my life. The Word of God is alive and active so each time I read it I am given something new. Let me clear one thing up before we dig in. These definitions will come in handy as we complete this study. Our spirit is where God lives. It is home to the Holy Spirit if we are believers and followers of Jesus Christ. Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions. The soul tell us what we think, what we want, and how we feel.
Allowing Satan to overtake our minds with thought of worry, dread, doubt, and concern is an act of my will. I allow thoughts in and decide what I will do with them. Right now is a very hard time for me. It is one the most difficult times in my life. I am SO grateful for a supportive husband, loving family, and Godly friends. I literally feel like there is an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other in regards to my thought life and attitude in how I deal with my challenges. Basing my decisions and what God will or won't do based on my emotions is acting fleshly. Romans 8:8 says living a life of the flesh does not please God. I may be a slow learner, but one thing that I have learned is that I truly want to please God. The verse below is very direct...not much room for personal interpretation there!
Romans 8:8) Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
Living according to my flesh is a very superficial way of living. God is doing so much more than I can fathom on a far deeper level, a Spirit level. When I live on this level I will have peace regardless of my circumstances. To be honest, I am yet to reach this level. I certainly can grow in this, but will never reach perfection this side of heaven. One thing I am sure of is that I am much farther along than I was even yesterday. Joyce Meyer says often I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I was. I love that! As I live faith to faith I get better and better at realizing what I feel is not always based on God's fact.
If I can't trust my human emotions what can I trust? Or whom can I trust? The Spirit. I firmly believe I miss a great deal of His promptings because my soul is so stirred up. I often feel like I live out in the wilderness struggling to hear God. I believe it is because of the static in my soul. Satan lies and says God doesn't care therefore I need to worry. Someone has to worry about this I tell myself! God's doing nothing I say! I see worry, dread, doubt, etc. as static in my soul. The noise drowns out the Spirit's messages for me.
There are much greater things than me getting what I want. Like I said before, I currently am going through some really hard things with my health and I really want to be well yet I know there are greater things for me other than worrying over never getting better. The time I spend worrying can be spent thanking Him for what I do have and for talking to Him about how I can use my experiences for good and to further His Kingdom. Is is possible to resist the lies of the devil. It takes a lot of effort on my part because I have to stand guard. I have to memorize Scripture and say it even when I don't FEEL like it's true. I must vocalize His Word so the I can hear the Truth. I have to stop and talk to God and shut off the world to listen to Him.
I am determined, with God's help, to overcome worry and dread. I will not give in nor will I allow Satan to determine my steps. I am not a quitter. I do not want to live by my flesh because I truly want to please God. I want Him to look upon me with smile. Genesis 50:20 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. It assures me that what Satan meant for harm God turned for good. I don't feel it now, but I choose to see the good. So when that devil on one shoulder is noisy I will continue to do the next thing to the glory of God. I claim Galatians 6:9!
Galatians 6:9) Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Comforting Others
2 Corinthians 1:3-4) Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
Satan has many tricks up his sleeve and all are very dangerous. Based on a few conversations I have had over the last few days I want to focus on one in particular. Satan is brilliant at making us feel alone and isolated especially when we are going through a difficult time. There have been times when I have questioned why I am the only one struggling with this or that. Everyone else seems to be getting along great. What is this based on? My opinion is based on how much people smile or say they are doing great. I have even thought this while I am sitting in church! Deep in my heart I know this isn't true and I know Satan is doing a number on me. It's a battle to remember that.
I know for certain one reason that God has allowed pain in my life is so I could gain compassion. Christians are supposed to be witnesses for Christ. Here is what a witness does NOT do. They do not tell others what they can and cannot do. They DO tell others their story and where their hope comes from and are not afraid to share what the Gospel has done for them. For example, I look back to the time when Mom was dying. I firmly believed she covered a lot of her struggle up as to not upset or worry Christy, Dad, and myself. There came a point where she could no longer hide things. We knew the end was near and we knew the Lord was not going to heal her on this side of heaven. I can't tell you the pain we experienced watching her suffer. I think back to that time in my life and truly cannot explain how I made it through. I can't speak directly for Christy and Dad, but tend to think they would agree with me. That time was a complete blur and was totally surreal...like we were all part of a movie that ended sadly. The only thing I can tell people when they ask how we made it through is that God carried us. He really did. I don't know why He allowed her to suffer so much or why she had to die. I have learned since that time that I don't need to know. What I do know is that He provided the strength we needed. Dad, Christy, and myself were all going through huge personal struggles too that had nothing to do with Mom's dying. We had God's strength, each other, and some REALLY good friends. That is my testimony and I am not afraid to share it.
I know there will come a time when a friend will lose a mother. I will be able to understand their pain. I won't be able to give them all the right answers and really a person doesn't need words then. What they need is to know someone else cares and has endured that type of pain. Face it, just knowing someone else has experienced something similar helps. God comforted me and I am supposed to pass it on. Paul explains this in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. We should not keep the comfort for ourselves. There is a fine line between being comforting and trying to one up a person in their pain. Let's not be know-it-alls! It sounds weird to say, but a person needs to know you think their pain is special...it's all their and very personal to them. I hope that makes sense.
Another conversation I had at the gym really made me think too. One of my best friends in the whole world is going through a challenge within her family. This causes her great stress and emotion. What she is going through is very similar to something I had gone through prior to my mom's passing. My relationship with my mom had many facets and some were well, a bit challenging to say the least. I can offer my friend Godly wisdom because I have been there. I have walked her path and I simply get it. I have also completely blown it so I can offer ideas of what NOT to do! She can ALWAYS talk to me about what is on her heart. God has blessed both of us with each other. I'm so thankful to God that I can pass along some of the things I learned through my time of dealing with trouble.
Our church is a large church so it is crucial to get involved in a small group if you desire any sort of connection. This is where you really can build relationships. Pastor Bobby says we do life together in our small group. We were talking about this topic at our last meeting which was last Thursday. Building relationships takes time and effort. It takes making investments in people's lives. It takes getting out of our own heads. If your anything life me you also find that to be a challenge! Quality of relationships is so important. Of course having a new friend is different than our old faithfuls, but my point is we need to invest ourselves into them new or old.
We also cannot be afraid to be real with people. We can be real with those people we deem "safe." When two people invest into each other they both can be real with each other and get beyond the surface. I don't have to be stoic all the time. I hurt. I get discouraged. My heart gets heavy at times. Things bother me and I have a few close friends that I can share those hurts, discouragements, and heavy times with. They can always share their troubles with me. I want to be a safe person to them and I want to never be too busy for them.
I feel like this is a blog that may be hard to follow my point. I'll try and sum it up better than I wrote the above paragraphs. Satan wants us to feel like we are the person in the world with trouble. He wants us to feel alone and isolated. He also wants me to feel like if I had any faith at all I would not be struggling. Lies! All lies. We are not alone. God carries us through tough times. I know for a fact that is true. Part of the reason we go through pain and God comforts us is so we can do the same for someone else. We have to be safe for people, be real, and genuinely care. We can't be afraid to share our story and how we made it through or are making it through. I must remind myself often to get out of my own head and to reach out to another. Pastor Bobby said Thursday that we have to make investments in people with authentic hearts.
Satan has many tricks up his sleeve and all are very dangerous. Based on a few conversations I have had over the last few days I want to focus on one in particular. Satan is brilliant at making us feel alone and isolated especially when we are going through a difficult time. There have been times when I have questioned why I am the only one struggling with this or that. Everyone else seems to be getting along great. What is this based on? My opinion is based on how much people smile or say they are doing great. I have even thought this while I am sitting in church! Deep in my heart I know this isn't true and I know Satan is doing a number on me. It's a battle to remember that.
I know for certain one reason that God has allowed pain in my life is so I could gain compassion. Christians are supposed to be witnesses for Christ. Here is what a witness does NOT do. They do not tell others what they can and cannot do. They DO tell others their story and where their hope comes from and are not afraid to share what the Gospel has done for them. For example, I look back to the time when Mom was dying. I firmly believed she covered a lot of her struggle up as to not upset or worry Christy, Dad, and myself. There came a point where she could no longer hide things. We knew the end was near and we knew the Lord was not going to heal her on this side of heaven. I can't tell you the pain we experienced watching her suffer. I think back to that time in my life and truly cannot explain how I made it through. I can't speak directly for Christy and Dad, but tend to think they would agree with me. That time was a complete blur and was totally surreal...like we were all part of a movie that ended sadly. The only thing I can tell people when they ask how we made it through is that God carried us. He really did. I don't know why He allowed her to suffer so much or why she had to die. I have learned since that time that I don't need to know. What I do know is that He provided the strength we needed. Dad, Christy, and myself were all going through huge personal struggles too that had nothing to do with Mom's dying. We had God's strength, each other, and some REALLY good friends. That is my testimony and I am not afraid to share it.
I know there will come a time when a friend will lose a mother. I will be able to understand their pain. I won't be able to give them all the right answers and really a person doesn't need words then. What they need is to know someone else cares and has endured that type of pain. Face it, just knowing someone else has experienced something similar helps. God comforted me and I am supposed to pass it on. Paul explains this in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. We should not keep the comfort for ourselves. There is a fine line between being comforting and trying to one up a person in their pain. Let's not be know-it-alls! It sounds weird to say, but a person needs to know you think their pain is special...it's all their and very personal to them. I hope that makes sense.
Another conversation I had at the gym really made me think too. One of my best friends in the whole world is going through a challenge within her family. This causes her great stress and emotion. What she is going through is very similar to something I had gone through prior to my mom's passing. My relationship with my mom had many facets and some were well, a bit challenging to say the least. I can offer my friend Godly wisdom because I have been there. I have walked her path and I simply get it. I have also completely blown it so I can offer ideas of what NOT to do! She can ALWAYS talk to me about what is on her heart. God has blessed both of us with each other. I'm so thankful to God that I can pass along some of the things I learned through my time of dealing with trouble.
Our church is a large church so it is crucial to get involved in a small group if you desire any sort of connection. This is where you really can build relationships. Pastor Bobby says we do life together in our small group. We were talking about this topic at our last meeting which was last Thursday. Building relationships takes time and effort. It takes making investments in people's lives. It takes getting out of our own heads. If your anything life me you also find that to be a challenge! Quality of relationships is so important. Of course having a new friend is different than our old faithfuls, but my point is we need to invest ourselves into them new or old.
We also cannot be afraid to be real with people. We can be real with those people we deem "safe." When two people invest into each other they both can be real with each other and get beyond the surface. I don't have to be stoic all the time. I hurt. I get discouraged. My heart gets heavy at times. Things bother me and I have a few close friends that I can share those hurts, discouragements, and heavy times with. They can always share their troubles with me. I want to be a safe person to them and I want to never be too busy for them.
I feel like this is a blog that may be hard to follow my point. I'll try and sum it up better than I wrote the above paragraphs. Satan wants us to feel like we are the person in the world with trouble. He wants us to feel alone and isolated. He also wants me to feel like if I had any faith at all I would not be struggling. Lies! All lies. We are not alone. God carries us through tough times. I know for a fact that is true. Part of the reason we go through pain and God comforts us is so we can do the same for someone else. We have to be safe for people, be real, and genuinely care. We can't be afraid to share our story and how we made it through or are making it through. I must remind myself often to get out of my own head and to reach out to another. Pastor Bobby said Thursday that we have to make investments in people with authentic hearts.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
We Will Walk by Faith and Not by Sight
Some of you may know that I had a somewhat discouraging doctor's appointment yesterday. It had good and challenging aspects to it. At the end of the day I was overwhelmingly discouraged. When David is out of town Eli 'camps' with me at night. So last night he woke me up around 1:45 a.m. because his heavy comforter slid off the bed and he couldn't get it back on. After I fixed his comforter he dozed off immediately. Me on the other hand...not so much. My mental wheels began turning. Whenever I open my eyes in the morning I'm overwhelmed with the challenge that lay ahead of me so if I awake in the night often I have trouble getting back to sleep. I pray, recite Bible verses, etc. The bottom line is that it's tough to get that mind to quiet down. We have all been there numerous times I'm sure.
I get mailings from In Touch Ministries. Pastor Charles Stanley is a well-known pastor and author whose home church is in Atlanta. I got up and went to the kitchen and noticed a pile of unopened mail on the counter. I opened the In Touch letter and read only one random paragraph. I really didn't even read what the topic of the letter was. Later I read the whole letter and the topic was making the choice is live by faith or succumb to doubt. Our goal when we face hurdles is to respond in faith. This pleases God. Unfortunately I often do not respond that way. My journey has been one of amazing growth and I could completely bore you with all small details that God has worked through my circumstance. There is not one ounce of me that is not grateful for the lessons that He has blessed me with. My journey has also been one of tremendous heartache and let down. Doubt is something that I battle on an hour by hour basis. In my own power I cannot fight this battle on my own. Doubt means to think something unlikely: to feel unconvinced or uncertain about something, or think that something is unlikely or to not trust somebody or something: to suspect that somebody is not sincere or trustworthy, or that something is not true, likely, or genuine.
Pastor Stanley made four points. The fourth one is the one I read in the wee hours of the night with blurry, tired eyes. It reads, "We choose to obey God and leave all consequences to Him. There may be times in your life, as there have been in mine, when trusting the Lord is in conflict with your human reason and when you fail to see Him working in your circumstances. But don't give up. Remember "we walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Cor. 5:7). Claim God's promises in faith, and do exactly as He says. You will always be glad you did." Pastor Stanley goes on to encourage the reader to trust that the Father is working on their behalf.
Wow. Now at the time this reading fell on a numb soul. The more I thought about Pastor Stanley's words the more it sunk in. For many years it has felt that God isn't doing anything good on my behalf. True, He has taught me and I truly belive I have a great deal of wisdom for a woman of my age. My mom always was a fan of discernment. She taught my sister and myself to always be discerning...to be wise. My hopes have been dashed so many times with doctor visits and medication changes, etc. and it often feels like God isn't doing much on my behalf to bring this chapter in my life to a close. The two Bible verses I cling white-knuckled to are 1. Proverbs 3:5-6, and 2. Romans 8:28. I will copy them below.
Proverbs 3:5-6) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit (acknowledge Him) to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
So back to the fourth point made by Pastor Stanley. Actually now that I think about it my study yesterday was on obeying God and shutting off reason. Huh...I just thought of that. Apparently God is trying to tell me something here! A few close friends and family know that David and myself are flying to Tucson, Arizona to see a new female hormone specialist. I hesistate to say this because I want it to work out perfectly and well, if it doesn't than no one knew we went. I'm trying to turn over a new bold leaf though...you know Spirit-inspired courage. I could go on and on and on and on with why it won't work, why she will probably be like all the other doctors I have seen (unhelpful), I'll probably have to learn to just live with this, etc. The toxic thoughts could go on for a paragraph. With my history it is difficult to think differently, but I firmly believe He is leading me (actually nudging from behind is how I like to picture it) to Tuscon. It's a pretty big deal...it's a lot of money, time, etc. Dave has to take time off work and we had to find a friend to keep Eli for us. Thanks, Kim, for offering to keep our munchkin. Actually, he asks pretty much everyday if today is the day he gets to stay with Miss Kim! I'm obeying His nudgings even despite my fear. Joyce Meyer says to "do it afraid." Again, my human reason says this won't work because I have failed to see Him working in this circumstance. There have been times when I have thought maybe this is my lot, but then a fire lights and I'm motivated to keep on and to not give up.
I'm screaming to be heard. Dr. Vliet wrote a book that I read titled Screaming to be Heard: Symptoms You Have That Your Doctor STILL Ignores. Dr. Vliet is the doctor I am going to see in August. I will not stop screaming to be heard. I will get on that airplane in complete blind faith that good WILL come from it. I will get on that airplane walking in faith and not by sight. My human sight sees what is in front of me. It hears the discouraging words from doctors, it feels the failed attempts of this hormone treatment and that hormone treatment. My faith sees something that my eyes cannot. My faith says Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, who was sent into the world. My faith cannot believe long enough or hard enough to be physically healed. I have all the faith I need when in my heart of hearts I can declare Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, who was sent into the world...despite my doubt I will take the next step in this journey and I believe that the next step is to board that airplane and fly to Tuscon. By doing this I am acting out my faith and showing trust that He is working it all out on my behalf and that pleases the Lord.
I encourage you to take that next step and not to wait until your human eyes can grasp what is ahead. 1 Cor. 5:7 says, "we will walk by faith and not by sight." Please pray that I will find answers and the doctor will know how to treat me. I also want to encourage you to obey even when human reason says it won't work. Since when does God do things in a reasonable manner?!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
I Want Wisdom!
My mom was incredibly wise. She just knew stuff...lots of stuff. She always had incredible insight into so many things. When I was a teenager I could go to her when I was having trouble and she always had something wise to say. Granted, I didn't always want to hear her tidbits of wisdom, but more times than not she was right. My mom had a rough go of it. She had a very colorful life. She lived through incredible odds and always came out on the other side much wiser. She never told me this for sure, but I would guess she asked God for wisdom (discernment and insight) as she endured her trials because she knew what she learned through them would benefit her and others she knew eventually. This past April I had to make the difficult decision to put my beloved horse to sleep. I had owned Sox for over twenty years and I knew in my gut his time had come. I still doubted though and was torn, after all, he seemed to be getting along okay. I desperately longed to be able to call Mom and ask her about it. You know, just to run it by her. She would have reassured me that I was doing the right thing and would have offered me something insightful. To my dad's credit he has stepped into Mom's place rather brilliantly since she has been gone.
James 1:5) If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:1-18 is under the tile of trials and tribulation. So how does verse five factor into passages about trials and tribulation? I will share with you what I learned from my study. Basically, testing and trials require special wisdom and insight to cope with them. When times get tough I am thrown for a loop. I lose my bearings and need God to set me straight. I need Him to direct me and get me on the right path and to help me see past the hurt. I need His wisdom to help me see good in rotten circumstances. During these times I need a wisdom that transcends my own understanding. Versebyversecommentary.com said this, "wisdom is biblical common sense. It knows how to use biblical knowledge and knows how to apply the Word to experience." Wisdom does not stop with learned knowledge of the Bible. A head knowledge is easy to acquire. How to apply what I know is the difficult part. True wisdom knows how to apply the Word of God to real life.
How do I get this prized "biblical wisdom?" I ask. I know, how wild is that?! James 1:5 assures me that God will give it to me generously and not call me stupid for not already knowing. Ask means to request or plead for. Seeking wisdom in our trials is an urgent matter. Why? Because I am a sitting duck to Satan lies especially during the hard times
Wisdom is not only gained by the study of the Bible, but also in prayer. If I listen God gives me tremendous insight during my prayer time. He desires to give me wisdom and share it with me when my soul is quiet before Him. He wants to share Himself with me. I have found this to certainly be the case during my Bible studies. He always gives me a great understanding of Scripture because I truly want it and ask Him for it. He makes me much smarter than I really am on my own! I believe the insight into why He has allowed me to suffer so over the last six years has been because I have asked Him to show me what I can learn from this and how I can mature in my faith. I don't tell you this to brag upon myself. Believe me I have learned all this the hard way!
I do not want to spend time demanding to know why He is allowing this pain or being down right mad at Him (though I have my times). I want to grow from this. My friend and I were working out together this morning talking about God, our personal struggles and victories and trying to encourage one another. We get rather deep at 9 am while I'm hauling it on the treadmill! I told Shanda that He has changed every part of me through this. He has left no stone unturned. I find it incredible that He cares enough about my smallest hangups to confront me with them. Having that attitude has made this whole fiasco much easier. Don't get me wrong, I don't always have that attitude, but that is my goal. With God's grace it is possible.
Along with strength, patience, and grace we must also ask God for wisdom when heading through a crisis. I do not want to suffer needlessly. I want my suffering to count for something and I need Godly wisdom to not miss an opportunity. I do not want any crisis to be wasted. I encourage you earnestly seek the Lord for wisdom as you go through hard times. He promises in James 1:5 to give it to you and He won't belittle you for not knowing already.
James 1:5) If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:1-18 is under the tile of trials and tribulation. So how does verse five factor into passages about trials and tribulation? I will share with you what I learned from my study. Basically, testing and trials require special wisdom and insight to cope with them. When times get tough I am thrown for a loop. I lose my bearings and need God to set me straight. I need Him to direct me and get me on the right path and to help me see past the hurt. I need His wisdom to help me see good in rotten circumstances. During these times I need a wisdom that transcends my own understanding. Versebyversecommentary.com said this, "wisdom is biblical common sense. It knows how to use biblical knowledge and knows how to apply the Word to experience." Wisdom does not stop with learned knowledge of the Bible. A head knowledge is easy to acquire. How to apply what I know is the difficult part. True wisdom knows how to apply the Word of God to real life.
How do I get this prized "biblical wisdom?" I ask. I know, how wild is that?! James 1:5 assures me that God will give it to me generously and not call me stupid for not already knowing. Ask means to request or plead for. Seeking wisdom in our trials is an urgent matter. Why? Because I am a sitting duck to Satan lies especially during the hard times
Wisdom is not only gained by the study of the Bible, but also in prayer. If I listen God gives me tremendous insight during my prayer time. He desires to give me wisdom and share it with me when my soul is quiet before Him. He wants to share Himself with me. I have found this to certainly be the case during my Bible studies. He always gives me a great understanding of Scripture because I truly want it and ask Him for it. He makes me much smarter than I really am on my own! I believe the insight into why He has allowed me to suffer so over the last six years has been because I have asked Him to show me what I can learn from this and how I can mature in my faith. I don't tell you this to brag upon myself. Believe me I have learned all this the hard way!
I do not want to spend time demanding to know why He is allowing this pain or being down right mad at Him (though I have my times). I want to grow from this. My friend and I were working out together this morning talking about God, our personal struggles and victories and trying to encourage one another. We get rather deep at 9 am while I'm hauling it on the treadmill! I told Shanda that He has changed every part of me through this. He has left no stone unturned. I find it incredible that He cares enough about my smallest hangups to confront me with them. Having that attitude has made this whole fiasco much easier. Don't get me wrong, I don't always have that attitude, but that is my goal. With God's grace it is possible.
Along with strength, patience, and grace we must also ask God for wisdom when heading through a crisis. I do not want to suffer needlessly. I want my suffering to count for something and I need Godly wisdom to not miss an opportunity. I do not want any crisis to be wasted. I encourage you earnestly seek the Lord for wisdom as you go through hard times. He promises in James 1:5 to give it to you and He won't belittle you for not knowing already.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Perspective Matters
I have felt that God has laid the passages in 1 Peter in my heart the past few days. I have found significant encouragement from the words contained in it. Today's study just happened to be focused on verses from 1 Peter...how 'bout that?!
1 Peter 1:13) Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end from the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
In Biblical times the men wore long robes. If they were taking part in manual labor or running they would tuck the robe in their belt as to not trip. On a side note, I hope they wore something under their robes! So girding up your loins means to roll up your sleeves or pull it together and get serious about work. Girding up the loins of your mind means to get serious about where your mind is going. To be sober means to be calm, steady, and controlled. The revelation of Jesus Christ is a reference to His Second Coming.
In the commentary I use to study I found a great quote by the author, Warren Wiersbe. He says, "outlook determines outcome; attitude determines action." I like that and it's something I need to hear often. Just ask Dave, I can be the queen of a rotten attitude! He gets after me when the Lord tells him to! Do I have heavenly eyes on or earthly eyes? Heavenly eyes see beyond the present. They see beyond our current pain. The hope of eternal is not something that has brought much comfort to me in the past. I'm being honest with you and I have told God this same thing. I have wanted help in this area. Yeah, I get it, "these hard times won't last forever and heaven will be great." "What about now though? What about this pain I feel now? What about this health condition that seems to stick around? God! What about now?!"
1 Peter 1:13 is reminding us where the focus should be. Satan loves a scattered and wondering mind. I must keep my focus on what is important. The last 6-1/2 years have been tremendously difficult. God has blessed me with a new perspective. Different things are important to me now and honestly, I am an entirely different person. I am certain I was rather shallow prior to this "blessing" I have had for all these years! By allowing Him and our hard circumstances to change us in a positive way we are living with an eternal outlook. Remember the questions I posed in the previous paragraph? In essence, He is answering me by changing me. The challenge is to not spend so much time asking why and more time allowing the divinely-inspired change to occur.
Focusing on the present is the natural thing to do. Most of the time I am so caught up in my preset circumstance I can't even function. At times it has been all-consuming. Satan loves for me to be totally overwhelmed. When I am overwhelmed I miss out on God's wonderful lessons. When I do this my present circumstances are distracting me. I have lost my perspective. God is preparing me for heaven through His quiet lessons. I often pray for God's help to look past the problem because when I focus on the problem it becomes big and God small. During these times it is important to pull your mind together (gird up) and focus on greater things.
Expecting God's grace is for now and future. He always is willing to show us grace. Granted His grace can be different than what I think it should be, but nonetheless, His grace happens. The grace that occurs in this life is just in a different capacity. Here is a reminder of what grace is. It is a gift or reward we do not deserve. Something positive always happens out of trials for a child of God. So not only can a believer expect eternal reward, but also present rewards that come out of our faithfulness and His kindness. When my mind is sober I am able to see His gifts and reward in the midst of trials.
So in closing, I challenge you to keep your mind reined in especially if there is deep water all around you. Stay sober and vigilant to look for His gifts and rewards in the midst of your pain. By doing this you are gaining a new perspective and becoming heaven-minded. You are seeing there is more than what your earthy eyes can take in. The more we practice this the more we can share our eternal hope with others and the more we defeat Satan's schemes. So what about the pain I am experiencing now? It's still there and it's still painful, BUT I am using it for good. It is all about perspective, outlook, and attitude...and keeping that mind focused on things of heaven.
1 Peter 1:13) Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end from the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
In Biblical times the men wore long robes. If they were taking part in manual labor or running they would tuck the robe in their belt as to not trip. On a side note, I hope they wore something under their robes! So girding up your loins means to roll up your sleeves or pull it together and get serious about work. Girding up the loins of your mind means to get serious about where your mind is going. To be sober means to be calm, steady, and controlled. The revelation of Jesus Christ is a reference to His Second Coming.
In the commentary I use to study I found a great quote by the author, Warren Wiersbe. He says, "outlook determines outcome; attitude determines action." I like that and it's something I need to hear often. Just ask Dave, I can be the queen of a rotten attitude! He gets after me when the Lord tells him to! Do I have heavenly eyes on or earthly eyes? Heavenly eyes see beyond the present. They see beyond our current pain. The hope of eternal is not something that has brought much comfort to me in the past. I'm being honest with you and I have told God this same thing. I have wanted help in this area. Yeah, I get it, "these hard times won't last forever and heaven will be great." "What about now though? What about this pain I feel now? What about this health condition that seems to stick around? God! What about now?!"
1 Peter 1:13 is reminding us where the focus should be. Satan loves a scattered and wondering mind. I must keep my focus on what is important. The last 6-1/2 years have been tremendously difficult. God has blessed me with a new perspective. Different things are important to me now and honestly, I am an entirely different person. I am certain I was rather shallow prior to this "blessing" I have had for all these years! By allowing Him and our hard circumstances to change us in a positive way we are living with an eternal outlook. Remember the questions I posed in the previous paragraph? In essence, He is answering me by changing me. The challenge is to not spend so much time asking why and more time allowing the divinely-inspired change to occur.
Focusing on the present is the natural thing to do. Most of the time I am so caught up in my preset circumstance I can't even function. At times it has been all-consuming. Satan loves for me to be totally overwhelmed. When I am overwhelmed I miss out on God's wonderful lessons. When I do this my present circumstances are distracting me. I have lost my perspective. God is preparing me for heaven through His quiet lessons. I often pray for God's help to look past the problem because when I focus on the problem it becomes big and God small. During these times it is important to pull your mind together (gird up) and focus on greater things.
Expecting God's grace is for now and future. He always is willing to show us grace. Granted His grace can be different than what I think it should be, but nonetheless, His grace happens. The grace that occurs in this life is just in a different capacity. Here is a reminder of what grace is. It is a gift or reward we do not deserve. Something positive always happens out of trials for a child of God. So not only can a believer expect eternal reward, but also present rewards that come out of our faithfulness and His kindness. When my mind is sober I am able to see His gifts and reward in the midst of trials.
So in closing, I challenge you to keep your mind reined in especially if there is deep water all around you. Stay sober and vigilant to look for His gifts and rewards in the midst of your pain. By doing this you are gaining a new perspective and becoming heaven-minded. You are seeing there is more than what your earthy eyes can take in. The more we practice this the more we can share our eternal hope with others and the more we defeat Satan's schemes. So what about the pain I am experiencing now? It's still there and it's still painful, BUT I am using it for good. It is all about perspective, outlook, and attitude...and keeping that mind focused on things of heaven.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Sssshhhh, Can You Hear That?
My last blog entry took a turn from what I had planned. So here is the original entry. Enjoy and I pray you are blessed.
1 Kings 19:11-12) And He said, Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great strong wind rent the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire (a sound of gentle stillness and) a still, small voice.
This is absolutely one of my favorite Bible verses! It offers such visual power. The basic point of the verse is that God often speaks in the quietness. I think of the times when I am desperately seeking an answer from the Lord and how badly I want a loud answer. I want something loud and dramatic to happen so I can be sure it was the Lord I heard.
The hardest times in my life the Lord has quietly walked me though them and is still quietly walking me though them. I have found that Satan is much louder. Satan is noisy. His goal is to distract us from the Lord's quiet presence or gentle guidance. If Satan can be noisy enough we will miss the still, small voice of God. I think back and I can't even pin point what God did at certain times. He just was there guiding, comforting, strengthening in a quiet manner.
Generally speaking us humans love drama. Why are there so many T.V. shows following celebrities or why do news outlets only cover negative stories that have the wow factor? Our human nature craves drama. Because of this I think God should too communicate in a loud obvious manner. Have you ever been in a room of people and there is a loud person that demands all the attention than you notice the quiet person who is taking it all in? Often times it is that person who is the wisest and whom you can learn the most from. I like to think of God in that manner. He loves when we ask Him questions and quiet ourselves long enough to hear Him. He has all kinds of wisdom to share with us.
I believe God wants us to take time to quiet ourselves before Him. Life is so loud. I will not say that God is not able to break through the loudness to reach us...He is. He is able to do ANYTHING. In my own life I have found that He chooses not to reach me this way, but in the times I turn off life and study Him, talk to Him, and listen to Him. I encourage you to take time to look for the Lord in the small things. His blessings are everywhere. He is there waiting for us to listen for Him.
1 Kings 19:11-12) And He said, Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great strong wind rent the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire (a sound of gentle stillness and) a still, small voice.
This is absolutely one of my favorite Bible verses! It offers such visual power. The basic point of the verse is that God often speaks in the quietness. I think of the times when I am desperately seeking an answer from the Lord and how badly I want a loud answer. I want something loud and dramatic to happen so I can be sure it was the Lord I heard.
The hardest times in my life the Lord has quietly walked me though them and is still quietly walking me though them. I have found that Satan is much louder. Satan is noisy. His goal is to distract us from the Lord's quiet presence or gentle guidance. If Satan can be noisy enough we will miss the still, small voice of God. I think back and I can't even pin point what God did at certain times. He just was there guiding, comforting, strengthening in a quiet manner.
Generally speaking us humans love drama. Why are there so many T.V. shows following celebrities or why do news outlets only cover negative stories that have the wow factor? Our human nature craves drama. Because of this I think God should too communicate in a loud obvious manner. Have you ever been in a room of people and there is a loud person that demands all the attention than you notice the quiet person who is taking it all in? Often times it is that person who is the wisest and whom you can learn the most from. I like to think of God in that manner. He loves when we ask Him questions and quiet ourselves long enough to hear Him. He has all kinds of wisdom to share with us.
I believe God wants us to take time to quiet ourselves before Him. Life is so loud. I will not say that God is not able to break through the loudness to reach us...He is. He is able to do ANYTHING. In my own life I have found that He chooses not to reach me this way, but in the times I turn off life and study Him, talk to Him, and listen to Him. I encourage you to take time to look for the Lord in the small things. His blessings are everywhere. He is there waiting for us to listen for Him.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Something Beautiful
I returned from my Ohio trip just last night. It was a trip that was greatly anticipated for many reasons. Of course the obvious is the fact that I am faced with the reality that my mom is no longer there. She isn't cooking in the kitchen or building log furniture in her shop in one of the barns. I miss her. She also isn't laying lifeless in her bed or so swollen you can't see her eyes. I'm glad for that. I have found that it is important to briefly visit the times of mourning because in those times I feel God's strength. I came across one of her wigs and it brought tears to my eyes. I mourned her death and cried. I didn't stay there long though. You wipe the tears, stand up and do the next thing.
I witnessed so many new starts during my visit to Ohio. I got to spend time with a reunited couple that were high school sweethearts separated for over 23 years. Though both of them have experienced tremendous pain in their lives God has allowed their paths to cross again. He has provided one for the other. He has restored two lives separately and allowed those lives to be intertwined into something beautiful.
My dad is quite amazing too. When he speaks of my mother he gets a lump in his throat and his voice often cracks. Despite the challenge of losing his life partner he is in the beginning stages of a new adventure. I see a man who has evolved into a more patient, compassionate person. I'm excited for Dad. If you know him you know what kind of man he is. I firmly believe God will take this season in his life and turn it into something unexpected and indescribable.
Whenever I am at home back in Ohio I get the urge to be a little girl again. Times were easier then. I spent my days eating ice cream, riding my pony Rosie, and riding along with my mom as she ran hay wagons during baling season. I also had fantastic teenage years. Maybe it would be great to be back to the time of taking my horse Sox to Tuesday night 4-H meetings and stopping for ice cream on the way home at Johnson's ice cream shop? At any rate those were great times. Instead of doing those things I watched Eli play with all his little cousins and ride in the tractor with Grandpa Dan. Talk about new starts...Eli is so little and innocent. I witnessed six small children all play together. Eli is the oldest at five! Each of those children have their whole life ahead of them. Eli, Drew, Meredith, Jacob, Leah, and Grant all have many new starts ahead of them.
Then on the way to the airport I met my BFF, Jessica, at Friendly's to catch up a bit before my flight. She and her husband recently adopted a new born baby girl in February. Her name is Gabby and she is about the cutest thing I have ever seen. Even though Jessy and Derek have three kids of their own they are embarking on a new journey with their new baby girl. What an adventure the Tye household is!
As I sat on the plane doing my Bible study my mind couldn't help but think to my own life. As I prayed I kept hearing the words "its coming." I was praying over my health condition and for wisdom on how to handle it and what our next step should be. I have prayed over the situation for more hours than I can count. I have been utterly frustrated and discouraged at times...really to the point of sobs. Despite the despair I have felt there is a burning inside me to not quit, to keep praying, to keep pounding the gates of heaven. There is something in me that won't quit. When I thought more about the words I kept hearing it began to make sense. My new start is coming...
Wow. Guess what?! That was not my originally intended blog entry for today. Sometimes my fingers just type I guess. I can't take credit for any of this because I really didn't put all this together until now. How 'bout that?! Actually I just thought of how this relates to what my original topic was. Let me explain. The verse below is the actual verse from my Bible study I was going to blog on.
1 Kings 19:11-12) The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
I absolutely love this verse! My family room in our basement is quiet now. It's just me and God. I would love if He would tell me things in really loud obvious ways and on occasion He does, but not usually. Usually it is a subtle reminder, a soft nudge, or like the verse says, a gentle whisper. I believe the Lord put something rather powerful on my heart as I typed. He literally took over my fingers. Why? Maybe because someone out there needed reminded that He will always give us a new start and make something beautiful out of something ugly...or maybe He wanted me to remember that. I don't know the reason for this blog. What I do know is that He gently whispered the context of this blog onto my heart and guided my fingers as I typed.
I witnessed so many new starts during my visit to Ohio. I got to spend time with a reunited couple that were high school sweethearts separated for over 23 years. Though both of them have experienced tremendous pain in their lives God has allowed their paths to cross again. He has provided one for the other. He has restored two lives separately and allowed those lives to be intertwined into something beautiful.
My dad is quite amazing too. When he speaks of my mother he gets a lump in his throat and his voice often cracks. Despite the challenge of losing his life partner he is in the beginning stages of a new adventure. I see a man who has evolved into a more patient, compassionate person. I'm excited for Dad. If you know him you know what kind of man he is. I firmly believe God will take this season in his life and turn it into something unexpected and indescribable.
Whenever I am at home back in Ohio I get the urge to be a little girl again. Times were easier then. I spent my days eating ice cream, riding my pony Rosie, and riding along with my mom as she ran hay wagons during baling season. I also had fantastic teenage years. Maybe it would be great to be back to the time of taking my horse Sox to Tuesday night 4-H meetings and stopping for ice cream on the way home at Johnson's ice cream shop? At any rate those were great times. Instead of doing those things I watched Eli play with all his little cousins and ride in the tractor with Grandpa Dan. Talk about new starts...Eli is so little and innocent. I witnessed six small children all play together. Eli is the oldest at five! Each of those children have their whole life ahead of them. Eli, Drew, Meredith, Jacob, Leah, and Grant all have many new starts ahead of them.
Then on the way to the airport I met my BFF, Jessica, at Friendly's to catch up a bit before my flight. She and her husband recently adopted a new born baby girl in February. Her name is Gabby and she is about the cutest thing I have ever seen. Even though Jessy and Derek have three kids of their own they are embarking on a new journey with their new baby girl. What an adventure the Tye household is!
As I sat on the plane doing my Bible study my mind couldn't help but think to my own life. As I prayed I kept hearing the words "its coming." I was praying over my health condition and for wisdom on how to handle it and what our next step should be. I have prayed over the situation for more hours than I can count. I have been utterly frustrated and discouraged at times...really to the point of sobs. Despite the despair I have felt there is a burning inside me to not quit, to keep praying, to keep pounding the gates of heaven. There is something in me that won't quit. When I thought more about the words I kept hearing it began to make sense. My new start is coming...
Wow. Guess what?! That was not my originally intended blog entry for today. Sometimes my fingers just type I guess. I can't take credit for any of this because I really didn't put all this together until now. How 'bout that?! Actually I just thought of how this relates to what my original topic was. Let me explain. The verse below is the actual verse from my Bible study I was going to blog on.
1 Kings 19:11-12) The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
I absolutely love this verse! My family room in our basement is quiet now. It's just me and God. I would love if He would tell me things in really loud obvious ways and on occasion He does, but not usually. Usually it is a subtle reminder, a soft nudge, or like the verse says, a gentle whisper. I believe the Lord put something rather powerful on my heart as I typed. He literally took over my fingers. Why? Maybe because someone out there needed reminded that He will always give us a new start and make something beautiful out of something ugly...or maybe He wanted me to remember that. I don't know the reason for this blog. What I do know is that He gently whispered the context of this blog onto my heart and guided my fingers as I typed.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Truths About God
I am reading a book titled, When a Woman Lets Go of Her Fears written by Cheryl Brodersen. It's been a great read and Cheryl has a knack for making her points in a simple way. She offers a list of seven that state what is true about God. As I read the list I really began to evaluate how much I believe each one and how the unbelief affects other aspects of my life. I will share with you her list than share my thoughts on each one.
1. God is
2. God is able
3. God is good
4. God will work
5. God loves you
6. God's ways are perfect
7. God's timing is perfect
It might be helpful to take a few minutes to meditate on her list and see how your belief system matches us. If it does than do your actions and thoughts match what you think you belief.
1. God is.
Hebrews 11:6) Without faith it is impossible to please God, for he who comes to God must believe that He is.
Psalm 11:4) The fool says in his heart there is no God.
The Bible never makes the argument that God exists. It is a given and is obvious. His design is in everything. Recently I had blood work done and was so amazed by the wealth of information contained in those viles of blood. It reinforced my belief that God is.
2. God is able.
Ephesians 3:20) Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask for imagine, according to His power that is at work with us...
Paul is offering wonderful praise (something I need to do more of). My problem is life-consuming right now, but that is because I only see the human perspective of it. I have wondered before if my problem is so small to God why can't He just fix it real quick like. Again, I don't see the whole parade just my float. He is able to work it all out for His glory and my good. He has an endless imagination. As I thought about God being able I came to the conclusion that I believe deep to my core that He is able to do anything.
3. God is good.
Psalm 107:1) Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.
I think of the Chris Tomlin song here! It is important to believe this in order to trust Him. A fundamental to faith is trust so you ee how critical it is to believe He is good. I do not struggle with His plan of salvation and His immeasurable good in that plan. I admit I have an issue with the concept of God being good in all areas of my life. I know that He would not be good if He provided everything I wanted exactly when I wanted it. I would not be a good parent to Eli if I did that with him. So you can see my battle...I go back and forth which is because I am too dependant on my feelings. I often talk to God about my struggle. I REALLY struggle releasing my situation to Him.
4. God will work.
Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
This verse reminds me that He will work in all things and not just some. "God allows the circumstances to get way beyond our control at times before He does His work," Cheryl Brodersen. The above quote really hit home with me in a personal way. I would even add to the end by saying...in the open. I believe He is working on my situation all the time, but I cannot see it yet. Believe me when I tell you I feel totally helpless and out of control over my situation. I remind myself consistently that He is working.
Think of the story of the parting of the Red Sea. It was the 11th hour for the Israelites. You can read the story in Exodus 14. I think God has a dramatic side to Him. He is often so simple yet so dramatic at the same time. Look at the amazing aspects in nature. Dave and I love the mountains! Our dream house is in the mountains overlooking a beautiful lake. The Mountains are dramatic! Interestingly enough the closer I become to God the more intense my battles are. I believe Satan knows when a person is authentic about their quest. "Sometimes when we pray and ask God to work, the circumstances will intensify, but God is at work even in the building pressure. He is increasing the drama to draw attention to the glory of what He is about to do," Cheryel Broderen. This speaks to me because my situation is as bad now as ever. I found no relief from my old treatment and feel lost on what to do now. The circumstances appear and feel unrelenting. I believe God knows my discouragement and frustraton because here is a quote from my Joyce Meyer daily devotion yesterday. "You may not see Him coming, but you will certainly know wen He has been there."
5. God loves me.
Romans 8:38-39) For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
There is nothing too bad for God to forgive. His love is available to all, but can only be experienced when it is accepted. There are some parts of God I do not understand. What I do understand is the love He showed humanity by sending Jesus to die on the cross. I get that. What I do not get is why some children are raped. I don't get why my mom had to suffer such an awful death. I do not know and will probably never know, but decided long ago I was going to stop demanding to understand. I believe we aren't supposed to understand it all. I believe the Bible is true and it says He loves us.
6. God's ways are perfect.
Psalm 18:30) As for God, His ways are perfect.
Proverbs 3:5-6) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 are two of my favorite passages in the Bible. I have recited it to myself time and time again. I firmly believe it has kept me sane during the hardest time of my life. If I lean on my own view of this I will feel completely hopeless. Actually I have found myself wallowing in my understanding and because of this any oune of confident expectation flees. Trust plays a big roll here. Without trust it is impossible to believe His ways are perfect. We have to trust His plan for us in order to live in that peace the Bible mentions.
7. God's timing is perfect.
Eccliastes 3:1-12) There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.
Are you thinking of "The Byrds" song now?! Man I loved that Forrest Gump soundtrack! My mom used to say she was excited for heaven because there would be no time there. We are all about time and things being quick. Joyce Meyer reminds her listeners often that bad things do not last forever nor do good. What is needed is trust in that God will provide what you need just when you need it.
We all have an impatient nature. The other night I was talking to Dave on the phone. We were talking about our next step in trying to find relief for me. It was an intense conversation. Whenever I am upset Eli gets me Floppy to hug. After I hung up with Dave Eli asked what was wrong. I don't allow Eli to see every in and out of this situation, but do try to use what I can for teaching him a lesson. I told him I was just very tired of waiting on God to bring me through to the other side of this. I told him I get discouraged waiting for my health and wellness to come. I explained that we have to keep praying over the situation. Eli says this to me, "usually God doesn't take this long to do something." Again thinking how I could use this to teach him some Biblical principle I explained to him what Biblical patience was. It is waiting with a positive attitude. We also talked about how God is still working even when it doesn't appear so.
Truth is when we pray we want immediate results and when that doesn't happen we auomatically assume, 1. God must not care, 2. He's just plain mean, 3. we will be stuck forever where we are at. These are all lies and must be faced head on with God's truth. God is intentional and His delays have purpose.
I hope that I have given you something to think about. The best thing to do is be honest and tell God which of these you need help with an authentic manner. He will help!
1. God is
2. God is able
3. God is good
4. God will work
5. God loves you
6. God's ways are perfect
7. God's timing is perfect
It might be helpful to take a few minutes to meditate on her list and see how your belief system matches us. If it does than do your actions and thoughts match what you think you belief.
1. God is.
Hebrews 11:6) Without faith it is impossible to please God, for he who comes to God must believe that He is.
Psalm 11:4) The fool says in his heart there is no God.
The Bible never makes the argument that God exists. It is a given and is obvious. His design is in everything. Recently I had blood work done and was so amazed by the wealth of information contained in those viles of blood. It reinforced my belief that God is.
2. God is able.
Ephesians 3:20) Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask for imagine, according to His power that is at work with us...
Paul is offering wonderful praise (something I need to do more of). My problem is life-consuming right now, but that is because I only see the human perspective of it. I have wondered before if my problem is so small to God why can't He just fix it real quick like. Again, I don't see the whole parade just my float. He is able to work it all out for His glory and my good. He has an endless imagination. As I thought about God being able I came to the conclusion that I believe deep to my core that He is able to do anything.
3. God is good.
Psalm 107:1) Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.
I think of the Chris Tomlin song here! It is important to believe this in order to trust Him. A fundamental to faith is trust so you ee how critical it is to believe He is good. I do not struggle with His plan of salvation and His immeasurable good in that plan. I admit I have an issue with the concept of God being good in all areas of my life. I know that He would not be good if He provided everything I wanted exactly when I wanted it. I would not be a good parent to Eli if I did that with him. So you can see my battle...I go back and forth which is because I am too dependant on my feelings. I often talk to God about my struggle. I REALLY struggle releasing my situation to Him.
4. God will work.
Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
This verse reminds me that He will work in all things and not just some. "God allows the circumstances to get way beyond our control at times before He does His work," Cheryl Brodersen. The above quote really hit home with me in a personal way. I would even add to the end by saying...in the open. I believe He is working on my situation all the time, but I cannot see it yet. Believe me when I tell you I feel totally helpless and out of control over my situation. I remind myself consistently that He is working.
Think of the story of the parting of the Red Sea. It was the 11th hour for the Israelites. You can read the story in Exodus 14. I think God has a dramatic side to Him. He is often so simple yet so dramatic at the same time. Look at the amazing aspects in nature. Dave and I love the mountains! Our dream house is in the mountains overlooking a beautiful lake. The Mountains are dramatic! Interestingly enough the closer I become to God the more intense my battles are. I believe Satan knows when a person is authentic about their quest. "Sometimes when we pray and ask God to work, the circumstances will intensify, but God is at work even in the building pressure. He is increasing the drama to draw attention to the glory of what He is about to do," Cheryel Broderen. This speaks to me because my situation is as bad now as ever. I found no relief from my old treatment and feel lost on what to do now. The circumstances appear and feel unrelenting. I believe God knows my discouragement and frustraton because here is a quote from my Joyce Meyer daily devotion yesterday. "You may not see Him coming, but you will certainly know wen He has been there."
5. God loves me.
Romans 8:38-39) For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
There is nothing too bad for God to forgive. His love is available to all, but can only be experienced when it is accepted. There are some parts of God I do not understand. What I do understand is the love He showed humanity by sending Jesus to die on the cross. I get that. What I do not get is why some children are raped. I don't get why my mom had to suffer such an awful death. I do not know and will probably never know, but decided long ago I was going to stop demanding to understand. I believe we aren't supposed to understand it all. I believe the Bible is true and it says He loves us.
6. God's ways are perfect.
Psalm 18:30) As for God, His ways are perfect.
Proverbs 3:5-6) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6 are two of my favorite passages in the Bible. I have recited it to myself time and time again. I firmly believe it has kept me sane during the hardest time of my life. If I lean on my own view of this I will feel completely hopeless. Actually I have found myself wallowing in my understanding and because of this any oune of confident expectation flees. Trust plays a big roll here. Without trust it is impossible to believe His ways are perfect. We have to trust His plan for us in order to live in that peace the Bible mentions.
7. God's timing is perfect.
Eccliastes 3:1-12) There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.
Are you thinking of "The Byrds" song now?! Man I loved that Forrest Gump soundtrack! My mom used to say she was excited for heaven because there would be no time there. We are all about time and things being quick. Joyce Meyer reminds her listeners often that bad things do not last forever nor do good. What is needed is trust in that God will provide what you need just when you need it.
We all have an impatient nature. The other night I was talking to Dave on the phone. We were talking about our next step in trying to find relief for me. It was an intense conversation. Whenever I am upset Eli gets me Floppy to hug. After I hung up with Dave Eli asked what was wrong. I don't allow Eli to see every in and out of this situation, but do try to use what I can for teaching him a lesson. I told him I was just very tired of waiting on God to bring me through to the other side of this. I told him I get discouraged waiting for my health and wellness to come. I explained that we have to keep praying over the situation. Eli says this to me, "usually God doesn't take this long to do something." Again thinking how I could use this to teach him some Biblical principle I explained to him what Biblical patience was. It is waiting with a positive attitude. We also talked about how God is still working even when it doesn't appear so.
Truth is when we pray we want immediate results and when that doesn't happen we auomatically assume, 1. God must not care, 2. He's just plain mean, 3. we will be stuck forever where we are at. These are all lies and must be faced head on with God's truth. God is intentional and His delays have purpose.
I hope that I have given you something to think about. The best thing to do is be honest and tell God which of these you need help with an authentic manner. He will help!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)