Something Beautiful

I returned from my Ohio trip just last night.  It was a trip that was greatly anticipated for many reasons.  Of course the obvious is the fact that I am faced with the reality that my mom is no longer there.  She isn't cooking in the kitchen or building log furniture in her shop in one of the barns.  I miss her.  She also isn't laying lifeless in her bed or so swollen you can't see her eyes.  I'm glad for that.  I have found that it is important to briefly visit the times of mourning because in those times I feel God's strength.  I came across one of her wigs and it brought tears to my eyes.  I mourned her death and cried.  I didn't stay there long though.  You wipe the tears, stand up and do the next thing.

I witnessed so many new starts during my visit to Ohio.  I got to spend time with a reunited couple that were high school sweethearts separated for over 23 years.  Though both of them have experienced tremendous pain in their lives God has allowed their paths to cross again.  He has provided one for the other.  He has restored two lives separately and allowed those lives to be intertwined into something beautiful.

My dad is quite amazing too.  When he speaks of my mother he gets a lump in his throat and his voice often cracks.  Despite the challenge of losing his life partner he is in the beginning stages of a new adventure.  I see a man who has evolved into a more patient, compassionate person.  I'm excited for Dad.  If you know him you know what kind of man he is.  I firmly believe God will take this season in his life and turn it into something unexpected and indescribable. 

Whenever I am at home back in Ohio I get the urge to be a little girl again.  Times were easier then.  I spent my days eating ice cream, riding my pony Rosie, and riding along with my mom as she ran hay wagons during baling season.  I also had fantastic teenage years.  Maybe it would be great to be back to the time of taking my horse Sox to Tuesday night 4-H meetings and stopping for ice cream on the way home at Johnson's ice cream shop?  At any rate those were great times.  Instead of doing those things I watched Eli play with all his little cousins and ride in the tractor with Grandpa Dan.  Talk about new starts...Eli is so little and innocent.   I witnessed six small children all play together.  Eli is the oldest at five!  Each of those children have their whole life ahead of them.  Eli, Drew, Meredith, Jacob, Leah, and Grant all have many new starts ahead of them. 

Then on the way to the airport I met my BFF, Jessica, at Friendly's to catch up a bit before my flight.  She and her husband recently adopted a new born baby girl in February.  Her name is Gabby and she is about the cutest thing I have ever seen.  Even though Jessy and Derek have three kids of their own they are embarking on a new journey with their new baby girl.  What an adventure the Tye household is!

As I sat on the plane doing my Bible study my mind couldn't help but think to my own life.  As I prayed I kept hearing the words "its coming."  I was praying over my health condition and for wisdom on how to handle it and what our next step should be.  I have prayed over the situation for more hours than I can count.  I have been utterly frustrated and discouraged at times...really to the point of sobs.  Despite the despair I have felt there is a burning inside me to not quit, to keep praying, to keep pounding the gates of heaven.  There is something in me that won't quit.  When I thought more about the words I kept hearing it began to make sense.  My new start is coming...

Wow.  Guess what?!  That was not my originally intended blog entry for today.  Sometimes my fingers just type I guess.  I can't take credit for any of this because I really didn't put all this together until now.  How 'bout that?!  Actually I just thought of how this relates to what my original topic was.  Let me explain.  The verse below is the actual verse from my Bible study I was going to blog on.

1 Kings 19:11-12)  The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”  Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

I absolutely love this verse!  My family room in our basement is quiet now.  It's just me and God.  I would love if He would tell me things in really loud obvious ways and on occasion He does, but not usually.  Usually it is a subtle reminder, a soft nudge, or like the verse says, a gentle whisper.  I believe the Lord put something rather powerful on my heart as I typed.  He literally took over my fingers.  Why?  Maybe because someone out there needed reminded that He will always give us a new start and make something beautiful out of something ugly...or maybe He wanted me to remember that.  I don't know the reason for this blog.  What I do know is that He gently whispered the context of this blog onto my heart and guided my fingers as I typed.