Romans 8:6-9) The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God. You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.
I am on Day 86 of my Joyce Meyer devotional book. It's been great and I only have 14 days left. I wonder what God will lead me? Joyce says that walking in the Spirit is going with God's flow. We have all heard the saying "go with the flow." She stresses we must go with God's flow. I like that idea. Going with His flow is walking in the Spirit which means we are thinking and acting in a manner that is pleasing to God, trusting Him for each step. One way I can easily evaluate where I am at with this is to look truthfully at my thought life.
Am I choosing to think the best of people? Even politicians whom I adamantly disagree with for example? Am I choosing optimistic thoughts in regards to myself and my own struggles? Even as I write this I realize I have some work to do (especially on the second one!:-)).
I can think of a time recently when I actually did have the mind of Christ and going with God's flow. It isn't something that comes natural because we are human. It is something we must fight to have! It was this past Saturday actually. Those of you who know me know that I am an avid runner and have been for many years. I am guilty of overdoing it in a big way at times. People often ask if I'm training for something. When I say no they look at me strangely! A few of my symptoms from my hormonal imbalances have become even more problematic over the last year or so. They have made running and exercise extremely difficult. These two things have been a huge part of my life so it's quite upsetting when I can't do the things I used to be able to do. What was once easy has become very, very hard.
Saturday I woke up and had a thought. I would face a once-easy running workout head on. I looked at my old running logs on MapMyRun on my Iphone and became angry. I could not believe the times I had been logging previously and now can't. Being my extremely determined self I decided I was going to do a similar workout and give it all I had. It was very early in the morning so I left Dave a note that I would be back later.
This was without a doubt THEE hardest run of my entire life. My lungs felt like they were bleeding and every muscle in my body screamed for me to stop. They obviously don't know me! I refused to allow myself to stop. I ran with no headphones and only concerned myself with the voice on my app telling me my mileage and pace. I got angry at this run. All I heard was my breathing, the pounding of my feet, and the voice.
As I pushed on I became overwhelmed with emotion. It wasn't the fact that a run I have done 1,000 times was unbearably hard or the anger over the medical mistreatment I have received. It was not frustration at God or the resentment at a body that just doesn't work right, it was an overwhelming thankfulness to my God for allowing me to go through what I have for the last six plus years. I am so incredibly grateful for Him allowing each tear and sorrow. He loved me enough to not leave me like I was...a spoiled, immature Christian. I am so thankful He has taught me huge, big lessons and small, seemingly unimportant lessons. I appreciate so much more now. I see life as more than selfish ambition.
All of this flooded every inch of me as my feet pounded the pavement. Running has meant different thing to me at different times in my life. It has meant a way to fit into my favorite pair of Lucky jeans. It has enabled me to eat a second scoop of ice cream or to relieve stress. It has been a social outlet with my friends and I. It has meant challenging myself physically in ways I never thought possible. This day it was to give glory to God.
Over the last nine months to a year I have not been able to sing in church. It is like I have no emotion, nothing left. After my mom passed away I cried during worship at church. Like clock work the music would start and my tears flowed. More recently it has felt like I have been out of tears. Funny thing, when I run I need my praise and worship music (or my BFF Kristin to talk to). When I run my soul can worship through the music. Exerting myself with a nice, hard run strips me of me. It makes my insides raw and releases something powerful within me. I remember a run in particular. My mom was on her deathbed and I had a flight scheduled for about noon back to Ohio. I had nervous energy and time to kill so I went running on the treadmill at the gym. I ran 12 miles on a treadmill...isn't that the craziest thing?! I immediately drove to the airport and boarded a plane. When Eli and I arrived at our destination I could hardly stand up because my muscles were so tight and sore! That still makes me laugh!
So back to my run yesterday...as I finished "the hardest run known to mankind" God whispered another thought to me. He has allowed me to be torn down over the last six years. I truly am a different person now. I feel like I was stripped of everything I thought was important. I am not being rebuilt though. He is not rebuilding the same person I was. He is rebuilding a new Anna. My appointment with Dr. Vliet set the tone for a newness. God used her to began a new plan for me. He is building me into the woman He designed me to be before I was even a glimmer in my father's eye.
If I had shied away from facing this challenge head on I would not have been blessed with this divine experience. I fully understood after my run finished that I had the mind of Christ and I was going with His flow during this hour because of this I did I experienced tremendous closeness with my heavenly Father. God lifted me towards heaven. Had I had a fleshly mind at this time I would have been mad as a hornet (been there done that too many times to count) during and after my run. My mood would have been just plain foul. I would have dwelt on all the reasons this run stunk. What I used to be able to do and now can't. I would have wanted to find the doctors that messed me up and smack the crap out of them. No! Instead I had an appointment with God, up close and personal.
In closing we must continue to fight the battle against our flesh. It robs us of joy, a joy that is sustainable during difficult times. I am not better than you...I am not holier. I struggle with all the same things. What I learned during this workout was that there is a stark contrast between the mind of Christ and that of the flesh (human nature). I literally experienced it. After I realized how thankful I was for the misery I've experienced I said this to myself as I ran, "whoa Anna...that was NOT you!" I laughed to myself! The mind of the flesh mentioned in the opening verses refers to our human sense and reason without the Holy Spirit. These are those carnal thoughts and purposes. Walking in the Spirit is allowing the Spirit to lead us solely. We are to think and act in a Godly manner. As hard as it is it is possible to retrain our minds to think differently. We just have to stay on top of the war that rages for our minds.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
The Gift
Hi everyone! I apologize for the time in between blog entries. The topic for today's entry has been brewing for about a week now.
Dave and I had a big Labor Day weekend. We traveled to Tucson Arizona to see a new doctor. I had mentioned it in a previous blog. The appointment had been scheduled since July 5th so we had been anticipating the trip for nearly two months. During those two months I literally felt like I had a war going on inside me. The Bible is clear on spiritual warfare and the existence of it. Ephesians 6 is the chapter that dives into the whole concept of the war that is being waged against us believers. I felt like I had a devil on one shoulder saying, "this appointment will be a waste. You are spending all this money and for what? NOTHING. The doctor won't be helpful and will send you away with no hope." The angel on my other shoulder assured me this was going to be good. No, not just good...incredible. The angel was puffed up with so much hope. The devil was slumped over defeated. I stuck close to God during this time. If you read my last entry you know where my happy place is and believe me, I spent a great deal of time bowed before His throne just wanting to be near Him.
We left Thursday at 4 a.m. for the airport in Atlanta. Actually I had been awake since 1:45 a.m. because I couldn't sleep. I felt so many emotions. I felt excited, nervous, hopeful, terrified...the list goes on. Dr. Vliet uses the term "petrified excitement" in one of her books and that is exactly how I felt. We had a direct flight into Phoenix as to not risk any delays on connecting flights. We arrived on time into Phoenix and then headed for Tucson. On a side note, the desert is completely weird. Neither of us had been there before and were fascinated with all the "brown-ness." I do think cacti are just the most interesting things! We had time to takes showers and rest a bit before heading to my appointment.
When I head Dr. Vliet's voice coming from her office I immediately felt a sense of calmness. She had done a series of radio shows on the topic of hormonal imbalances a few years back. I came across them in June and listened to them all. Actually, I listened to some more than once and even more than five times. In each one she was talking about me. They gave me such hope. So hearing this radio voice gave me a sense of belonging. She also had a beautiful picture hanging on the wall of the waiting area. It was a piece of calligraphy art. It spoke to my soul. Dave took notice of the book sitting on the table that she authored years back. The title? It's My Ovaries, Stupid! Back to the art. I bet your curious as to what it said, huh?! Well, read below!
Hebrews 13:2) Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.
Before it was my appointment time Dr. Vliet came out and introduced herself. I had included practically a book of information for her and she thanked me for sending it. I had also included a personal letter and in it I shared how Romans 8:28 was my peace. If your not familiar with that verse you can read it below. I felt such peace when I knew she took the time to read my information and that she clings to Romans 8:28 personally too. She said it was her favorite Bible verse too and she had a version of calligraphy art at home with that verse written out. Dave looked at me and simply smiled.
Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose
It was our time to meet with Dr. Vliet. My hands were sweating and I could feel my heart speed up. Why was I so nervous for this appointment you might ask. The main reasons follow: 1. we traveled across the entire country to see her, 2. I have not had good experiences with doctors, and 3. I so desperately wanted help (and hope). I won't go into all the details, but I will say this. It was an absolutely INCREDIBLE experience. Actually there are not enough adjectives to describe the appointment and Dr. Vliet. She and I were kindred spirits and there was truly a bond formed in the midst of the appointment. I knew I would be asked to start at square one. You know, start from the beginning. I dreaded this because it is just painful and I have done it with many doctors to no avail. It felt different when Dr. Vliet asked because I could sense her spirit. I could see if her eyes she truly cared about my words and listened. She wrote a book that I read titled, Screaming to be Heard: Hormone Connections Women Suspect and Doctors Still Ignore. I have screamed to be heard for years and now someone is hearing me...and cares. She talked to Dave and I for nearly 3-1/2 hours. I was not forced to share eight years of information in a seven minute block of time.
I told my friends I feel like the Titanic is beginning to turn another direction. Dr. Vliet did not have a magical quick-fix, but what she did offer was solid and sound knowledge that was backed by years of experience and by dependable studies on hormone care. She (and her staff) quickly became family. At the end of the appointment I gave her the biggest hug ever. Dave and I went to dinner afterwards and talked about all the helpful things Dr. Vliet said. I think we were both overwhelmed with information and needed time for it to soak in. I was so glad Dave was there with me. My journey has affected him greatly and in ways that are personal just to him.
So how does the title of my blog entry come into play? God simply gave us a gift. Satan was quick to try and spoil it though. What if she's wrong? What if Dr. Vliet still can't help you? What if this appointment wouldn't have turned out good? If your faith was sooooooo great than you would be happy regardless? What if God hadn't done with for you? For a few minutes I started to ponder those points. Well, what if He hadn't allowed this appointment to exceed my expectations? Then it hit me...this was a gift pure and simple. I don't know why God allowed it to go so well (beyond well). Why does He allow me to get Christmas gifts? Why did He provide such an amazing husband for me? A healthy child? My salvation? God taught me something rather quickly as I was thinking about these things. He told me He gave me a gift. I didn't deserve it just like I don't deserve His salvation. He also shared with me that He has some B-I-G plans for me in regards to this appointment and my relationship with Dr. Vliet. He told me to just say "thank You." As I began the healing process I have decided that my actions speak louder than my words. While God wants our mouths to say "thank you" He also wants our actions to say it as well. So stay tuned...the journey continues.
Ephesians 3:20) Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Psalm 30:11-12) You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.
Dave and I had a big Labor Day weekend. We traveled to Tucson Arizona to see a new doctor. I had mentioned it in a previous blog. The appointment had been scheduled since July 5th so we had been anticipating the trip for nearly two months. During those two months I literally felt like I had a war going on inside me. The Bible is clear on spiritual warfare and the existence of it. Ephesians 6 is the chapter that dives into the whole concept of the war that is being waged against us believers. I felt like I had a devil on one shoulder saying, "this appointment will be a waste. You are spending all this money and for what? NOTHING. The doctor won't be helpful and will send you away with no hope." The angel on my other shoulder assured me this was going to be good. No, not just good...incredible. The angel was puffed up with so much hope. The devil was slumped over defeated. I stuck close to God during this time. If you read my last entry you know where my happy place is and believe me, I spent a great deal of time bowed before His throne just wanting to be near Him.
We left Thursday at 4 a.m. for the airport in Atlanta. Actually I had been awake since 1:45 a.m. because I couldn't sleep. I felt so many emotions. I felt excited, nervous, hopeful, terrified...the list goes on. Dr. Vliet uses the term "petrified excitement" in one of her books and that is exactly how I felt. We had a direct flight into Phoenix as to not risk any delays on connecting flights. We arrived on time into Phoenix and then headed for Tucson. On a side note, the desert is completely weird. Neither of us had been there before and were fascinated with all the "brown-ness." I do think cacti are just the most interesting things! We had time to takes showers and rest a bit before heading to my appointment.
When I head Dr. Vliet's voice coming from her office I immediately felt a sense of calmness. She had done a series of radio shows on the topic of hormonal imbalances a few years back. I came across them in June and listened to them all. Actually, I listened to some more than once and even more than five times. In each one she was talking about me. They gave me such hope. So hearing this radio voice gave me a sense of belonging. She also had a beautiful picture hanging on the wall of the waiting area. It was a piece of calligraphy art. It spoke to my soul. Dave took notice of the book sitting on the table that she authored years back. The title? It's My Ovaries, Stupid! Back to the art. I bet your curious as to what it said, huh?! Well, read below!
Hebrews 13:2) Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.
Before it was my appointment time Dr. Vliet came out and introduced herself. I had included practically a book of information for her and she thanked me for sending it. I had also included a personal letter and in it I shared how Romans 8:28 was my peace. If your not familiar with that verse you can read it below. I felt such peace when I knew she took the time to read my information and that she clings to Romans 8:28 personally too. She said it was her favorite Bible verse too and she had a version of calligraphy art at home with that verse written out. Dave looked at me and simply smiled.
Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose
It was our time to meet with Dr. Vliet. My hands were sweating and I could feel my heart speed up. Why was I so nervous for this appointment you might ask. The main reasons follow: 1. we traveled across the entire country to see her, 2. I have not had good experiences with doctors, and 3. I so desperately wanted help (and hope). I won't go into all the details, but I will say this. It was an absolutely INCREDIBLE experience. Actually there are not enough adjectives to describe the appointment and Dr. Vliet. She and I were kindred spirits and there was truly a bond formed in the midst of the appointment. I knew I would be asked to start at square one. You know, start from the beginning. I dreaded this because it is just painful and I have done it with many doctors to no avail. It felt different when Dr. Vliet asked because I could sense her spirit. I could see if her eyes she truly cared about my words and listened. She wrote a book that I read titled, Screaming to be Heard: Hormone Connections Women Suspect and Doctors Still Ignore. I have screamed to be heard for years and now someone is hearing me...and cares. She talked to Dave and I for nearly 3-1/2 hours. I was not forced to share eight years of information in a seven minute block of time.
I told my friends I feel like the Titanic is beginning to turn another direction. Dr. Vliet did not have a magical quick-fix, but what she did offer was solid and sound knowledge that was backed by years of experience and by dependable studies on hormone care. She (and her staff) quickly became family. At the end of the appointment I gave her the biggest hug ever. Dave and I went to dinner afterwards and talked about all the helpful things Dr. Vliet said. I think we were both overwhelmed with information and needed time for it to soak in. I was so glad Dave was there with me. My journey has affected him greatly and in ways that are personal just to him.
So how does the title of my blog entry come into play? God simply gave us a gift. Satan was quick to try and spoil it though. What if she's wrong? What if Dr. Vliet still can't help you? What if this appointment wouldn't have turned out good? If your faith was sooooooo great than you would be happy regardless? What if God hadn't done with for you? For a few minutes I started to ponder those points. Well, what if He hadn't allowed this appointment to exceed my expectations? Then it hit me...this was a gift pure and simple. I don't know why God allowed it to go so well (beyond well). Why does He allow me to get Christmas gifts? Why did He provide such an amazing husband for me? A healthy child? My salvation? God taught me something rather quickly as I was thinking about these things. He told me He gave me a gift. I didn't deserve it just like I don't deserve His salvation. He also shared with me that He has some B-I-G plans for me in regards to this appointment and my relationship with Dr. Vliet. He told me to just say "thank You." As I began the healing process I have decided that my actions speak louder than my words. While God wants our mouths to say "thank you" He also wants our actions to say it as well. So stay tuned...the journey continues.
Ephesians 3:20) Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Psalm 30:11-12) You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.
Monday, August 20, 2012
My Place
Matthew 6:31) Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? Or, What are we going to have to drink? Or, What are we going to have to wear?
Joyce believes demons whisper in our ear, "what are you going to do?" I certainly have heard this too many times to count. Well meaning friends ask in crisis, "what are you going to do?!" God wants us to be responsible of course and He leads us to do something just at the right time. Sometimes He even calls us to do nothing! I am not referring to those times. I am talking about the anxious whispers. I know the difference, but many times the true voice is drown out by worrisome static. The only way to improve on deciphering the whispers is to dive into getting to know God. Satan's goal is for us to act on our own without seeking guidance from God. In Matthew 6:31 God clearly instructs us to not worry so when I do it is sin. My previous blog entry was on this very topic.
One way I combat worry is to visualize. When worry grips me I visualize myself kneeling before God's throne. In all my time doing this I have never seen God's face or His body. I have seen what I think are His lower leg and ankles although even that is a fuzzy picture. He is on a throne. I picture myself kneeling before Him. There are no angels, trumpets, or lightening. I am not automatically given answers or some huge new revelation. It is a humbling experience and I am reminded of something bigger than myself. It also helps me focus on Him and not what I am worried about. What I focus on becomes big.
So when Satan whispers in his hateful voice, "what are you going to do?!" At that time I place myself before the throne. I don't even say anything. God knows there are not words many times that can voice the depth of my worry. I am silent before Him just basking in His presence. I am not saying prayer is not important. The Bible says to pray at all times in all kinds of circumstances (1 Thess. 5:16-18). What I am saying is that in those times when you can't find the words or just want to be in His presence I go to my place before the throne. God knows there would be times when we didn't know what to pray. If you are like me you feel like you have said everything there is to say. Your mouth feels empty. God knew there would be days like this (or months or years).
Romans 8:26-27) In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
I have placed myself before His throne and recited this verse. I have said, "God, I am out of words...my burden is so deep..." Like I said before I visualize myself literally before His thrown. I have found it is a tremendously peaceful place to be. The connection with Him is very real and it truly feels like my spirit is praying to the Lord without vocal words
Satan's lies start with a whisper and soon turn into a blasting sound. At that point we become frantic. "What am I going to do," we ask in the middle of the night. Face it everything seems more pressing in the middle of the night. Our mind is a battlefield and the most intense wars seem to occur between 10 pm and 7 am! Often times when I would ask my mom how she was doing she would say, "good...really. Those night wolves were attacking though." She meant that she getting along well during the sunlight hours and when the moon came out so did the ravenous wolves.
In closing, I encourage you to spend time getting to know the Lord. It is endlessly rewarding. I do not mean to memorize Scripture just to memorize it, but really invest time in knowing God. My visualizing technique is not the only way to go. You will need to ask God to show you something that can help you. I am nowhere near perfect and I worry way too much, but I am improving battle by battle. I keep confessing the sin and keep moving forward. I am better and quicker at recognizing Satan's hateful whispers and screams and I plan to continue to grow in this area. I encourage you to do the same!
Joyce believes demons whisper in our ear, "what are you going to do?" I certainly have heard this too many times to count. Well meaning friends ask in crisis, "what are you going to do?!" God wants us to be responsible of course and He leads us to do something just at the right time. Sometimes He even calls us to do nothing! I am not referring to those times. I am talking about the anxious whispers. I know the difference, but many times the true voice is drown out by worrisome static. The only way to improve on deciphering the whispers is to dive into getting to know God. Satan's goal is for us to act on our own without seeking guidance from God. In Matthew 6:31 God clearly instructs us to not worry so when I do it is sin. My previous blog entry was on this very topic.
One way I combat worry is to visualize. When worry grips me I visualize myself kneeling before God's throne. In all my time doing this I have never seen God's face or His body. I have seen what I think are His lower leg and ankles although even that is a fuzzy picture. He is on a throne. I picture myself kneeling before Him. There are no angels, trumpets, or lightening. I am not automatically given answers or some huge new revelation. It is a humbling experience and I am reminded of something bigger than myself. It also helps me focus on Him and not what I am worried about. What I focus on becomes big.
So when Satan whispers in his hateful voice, "what are you going to do?!" At that time I place myself before the throne. I don't even say anything. God knows there are not words many times that can voice the depth of my worry. I am silent before Him just basking in His presence. I am not saying prayer is not important. The Bible says to pray at all times in all kinds of circumstances (1 Thess. 5:16-18). What I am saying is that in those times when you can't find the words or just want to be in His presence I go to my place before the throne. God knows there would be times when we didn't know what to pray. If you are like me you feel like you have said everything there is to say. Your mouth feels empty. God knew there would be days like this (or months or years).
Romans 8:26-27) In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.
I have placed myself before His throne and recited this verse. I have said, "God, I am out of words...my burden is so deep..." Like I said before I visualize myself literally before His thrown. I have found it is a tremendously peaceful place to be. The connection with Him is very real and it truly feels like my spirit is praying to the Lord without vocal words
Satan's lies start with a whisper and soon turn into a blasting sound. At that point we become frantic. "What am I going to do," we ask in the middle of the night. Face it everything seems more pressing in the middle of the night. Our mind is a battlefield and the most intense wars seem to occur between 10 pm and 7 am! Often times when I would ask my mom how she was doing she would say, "good...really. Those night wolves were attacking though." She meant that she getting along well during the sunlight hours and when the moon came out so did the ravenous wolves.
In closing, I encourage you to spend time getting to know the Lord. It is endlessly rewarding. I do not mean to memorize Scripture just to memorize it, but really invest time in knowing God. My visualizing technique is not the only way to go. You will need to ask God to show you something that can help you. I am nowhere near perfect and I worry way too much, but I am improving battle by battle. I keep confessing the sin and keep moving forward. I am better and quicker at recognizing Satan's hateful whispers and screams and I plan to continue to grow in this area. I encourage you to do the same!
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Something More
Ah worry. It is something we all deal with. Some folks even boast about their ability to worry like it makes others think they care more. Or what about worry martyrs? They wear worry on their sleeve like a badge of honor. Some even treat their worry like one of their own children. I tend to fall somewhere in between all of these titles. One thing I am getting better about is telling God when I'm worried. I figure He knows anyway so why hide it. I also have recognized that worry is disobedience to the Father. I am not pointing a finger at you because I tell myself the same thing. It isn't healthy and it isn't Biblical. I get very annoyed when someone says, "oh don't worry..." It's like I am going to say, "oh okay, just because you said that I won't be...thanks." I have found that worry isn't something I automatically switch off and on and it can be a kind of addiction. So let me share with you some things God gave me yesterday on the topic while I did my study. Actually, I completed my Bible study at the pool while Eli swam around. He was the only kid there so the two lifeguards had his full attention. They loved him...threw him in the water, tried to teach him Spanish, and goofed around with him. Anyway, I digress...
Matthew 6:25-27) "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
I have read this verse like a hundred times over the course of my life. The Word of God is alive and active so each time I read it I am given something new. Let me clear one thing up before we dig in. These definitions will come in handy as we complete this study. Our spirit is where God lives. It is home to the Holy Spirit if we are believers and followers of Jesus Christ. Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions. The soul tell us what we think, what we want, and how we feel.
Allowing Satan to overtake our minds with thought of worry, dread, doubt, and concern is an act of my will. I allow thoughts in and decide what I will do with them. Right now is a very hard time for me. It is one the most difficult times in my life. I am SO grateful for a supportive husband, loving family, and Godly friends. I literally feel like there is an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other in regards to my thought life and attitude in how I deal with my challenges. Basing my decisions and what God will or won't do based on my emotions is acting fleshly. Romans 8:8 says living a life of the flesh does not please God. I may be a slow learner, but one thing that I have learned is that I truly want to please God. The verse below is very direct...not much room for personal interpretation there!
Romans 8:8) Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
Living according to my flesh is a very superficial way of living. God is doing so much more than I can fathom on a far deeper level, a Spirit level. When I live on this level I will have peace regardless of my circumstances. To be honest, I am yet to reach this level. I certainly can grow in this, but will never reach perfection this side of heaven. One thing I am sure of is that I am much farther along than I was even yesterday. Joyce Meyer says often I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I was. I love that! As I live faith to faith I get better and better at realizing what I feel is not always based on God's fact.
If I can't trust my human emotions what can I trust? Or whom can I trust? The Spirit. I firmly believe I miss a great deal of His promptings because my soul is so stirred up. I often feel like I live out in the wilderness struggling to hear God. I believe it is because of the static in my soul. Satan lies and says God doesn't care therefore I need to worry. Someone has to worry about this I tell myself! God's doing nothing I say! I see worry, dread, doubt, etc. as static in my soul. The noise drowns out the Spirit's messages for me.
There are much greater things than me getting what I want. Like I said before, I currently am going through some really hard things with my health and I really want to be well yet I know there are greater things for me other than worrying over never getting better. The time I spend worrying can be spent thanking Him for what I do have and for talking to Him about how I can use my experiences for good and to further His Kingdom. Is is possible to resist the lies of the devil. It takes a lot of effort on my part because I have to stand guard. I have to memorize Scripture and say it even when I don't FEEL like it's true. I must vocalize His Word so the I can hear the Truth. I have to stop and talk to God and shut off the world to listen to Him.
I am determined, with God's help, to overcome worry and dread. I will not give in nor will I allow Satan to determine my steps. I am not a quitter. I do not want to live by my flesh because I truly want to please God. I want Him to look upon me with smile. Genesis 50:20 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. It assures me that what Satan meant for harm God turned for good. I don't feel it now, but I choose to see the good. So when that devil on one shoulder is noisy I will continue to do the next thing to the glory of God. I claim Galatians 6:9!
Galatians 6:9) Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Matthew 6:25-27) "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"
I have read this verse like a hundred times over the course of my life. The Word of God is alive and active so each time I read it I am given something new. Let me clear one thing up before we dig in. These definitions will come in handy as we complete this study. Our spirit is where God lives. It is home to the Holy Spirit if we are believers and followers of Jesus Christ. Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions. The soul tell us what we think, what we want, and how we feel.
Allowing Satan to overtake our minds with thought of worry, dread, doubt, and concern is an act of my will. I allow thoughts in and decide what I will do with them. Right now is a very hard time for me. It is one the most difficult times in my life. I am SO grateful for a supportive husband, loving family, and Godly friends. I literally feel like there is an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other in regards to my thought life and attitude in how I deal with my challenges. Basing my decisions and what God will or won't do based on my emotions is acting fleshly. Romans 8:8 says living a life of the flesh does not please God. I may be a slow learner, but one thing that I have learned is that I truly want to please God. The verse below is very direct...not much room for personal interpretation there!
Romans 8:8) Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
Living according to my flesh is a very superficial way of living. God is doing so much more than I can fathom on a far deeper level, a Spirit level. When I live on this level I will have peace regardless of my circumstances. To be honest, I am yet to reach this level. I certainly can grow in this, but will never reach perfection this side of heaven. One thing I am sure of is that I am much farther along than I was even yesterday. Joyce Meyer says often I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I was. I love that! As I live faith to faith I get better and better at realizing what I feel is not always based on God's fact.
If I can't trust my human emotions what can I trust? Or whom can I trust? The Spirit. I firmly believe I miss a great deal of His promptings because my soul is so stirred up. I often feel like I live out in the wilderness struggling to hear God. I believe it is because of the static in my soul. Satan lies and says God doesn't care therefore I need to worry. Someone has to worry about this I tell myself! God's doing nothing I say! I see worry, dread, doubt, etc. as static in my soul. The noise drowns out the Spirit's messages for me.
There are much greater things than me getting what I want. Like I said before, I currently am going through some really hard things with my health and I really want to be well yet I know there are greater things for me other than worrying over never getting better. The time I spend worrying can be spent thanking Him for what I do have and for talking to Him about how I can use my experiences for good and to further His Kingdom. Is is possible to resist the lies of the devil. It takes a lot of effort on my part because I have to stand guard. I have to memorize Scripture and say it even when I don't FEEL like it's true. I must vocalize His Word so the I can hear the Truth. I have to stop and talk to God and shut off the world to listen to Him.
I am determined, with God's help, to overcome worry and dread. I will not give in nor will I allow Satan to determine my steps. I am not a quitter. I do not want to live by my flesh because I truly want to please God. I want Him to look upon me with smile. Genesis 50:20 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible. It assures me that what Satan meant for harm God turned for good. I don't feel it now, but I choose to see the good. So when that devil on one shoulder is noisy I will continue to do the next thing to the glory of God. I claim Galatians 6:9!
Galatians 6:9) Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Comforting Others
2 Corinthians 1:3-4) Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.
Satan has many tricks up his sleeve and all are very dangerous. Based on a few conversations I have had over the last few days I want to focus on one in particular. Satan is brilliant at making us feel alone and isolated especially when we are going through a difficult time. There have been times when I have questioned why I am the only one struggling with this or that. Everyone else seems to be getting along great. What is this based on? My opinion is based on how much people smile or say they are doing great. I have even thought this while I am sitting in church! Deep in my heart I know this isn't true and I know Satan is doing a number on me. It's a battle to remember that.
I know for certain one reason that God has allowed pain in my life is so I could gain compassion. Christians are supposed to be witnesses for Christ. Here is what a witness does NOT do. They do not tell others what they can and cannot do. They DO tell others their story and where their hope comes from and are not afraid to share what the Gospel has done for them. For example, I look back to the time when Mom was dying. I firmly believed she covered a lot of her struggle up as to not upset or worry Christy, Dad, and myself. There came a point where she could no longer hide things. We knew the end was near and we knew the Lord was not going to heal her on this side of heaven. I can't tell you the pain we experienced watching her suffer. I think back to that time in my life and truly cannot explain how I made it through. I can't speak directly for Christy and Dad, but tend to think they would agree with me. That time was a complete blur and was totally surreal...like we were all part of a movie that ended sadly. The only thing I can tell people when they ask how we made it through is that God carried us. He really did. I don't know why He allowed her to suffer so much or why she had to die. I have learned since that time that I don't need to know. What I do know is that He provided the strength we needed. Dad, Christy, and myself were all going through huge personal struggles too that had nothing to do with Mom's dying. We had God's strength, each other, and some REALLY good friends. That is my testimony and I am not afraid to share it.
I know there will come a time when a friend will lose a mother. I will be able to understand their pain. I won't be able to give them all the right answers and really a person doesn't need words then. What they need is to know someone else cares and has endured that type of pain. Face it, just knowing someone else has experienced something similar helps. God comforted me and I am supposed to pass it on. Paul explains this in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. We should not keep the comfort for ourselves. There is a fine line between being comforting and trying to one up a person in their pain. Let's not be know-it-alls! It sounds weird to say, but a person needs to know you think their pain is special...it's all their and very personal to them. I hope that makes sense.
Another conversation I had at the gym really made me think too. One of my best friends in the whole world is going through a challenge within her family. This causes her great stress and emotion. What she is going through is very similar to something I had gone through prior to my mom's passing. My relationship with my mom had many facets and some were well, a bit challenging to say the least. I can offer my friend Godly wisdom because I have been there. I have walked her path and I simply get it. I have also completely blown it so I can offer ideas of what NOT to do! She can ALWAYS talk to me about what is on her heart. God has blessed both of us with each other. I'm so thankful to God that I can pass along some of the things I learned through my time of dealing with trouble.
Our church is a large church so it is crucial to get involved in a small group if you desire any sort of connection. This is where you really can build relationships. Pastor Bobby says we do life together in our small group. We were talking about this topic at our last meeting which was last Thursday. Building relationships takes time and effort. It takes making investments in people's lives. It takes getting out of our own heads. If your anything life me you also find that to be a challenge! Quality of relationships is so important. Of course having a new friend is different than our old faithfuls, but my point is we need to invest ourselves into them new or old.
We also cannot be afraid to be real with people. We can be real with those people we deem "safe." When two people invest into each other they both can be real with each other and get beyond the surface. I don't have to be stoic all the time. I hurt. I get discouraged. My heart gets heavy at times. Things bother me and I have a few close friends that I can share those hurts, discouragements, and heavy times with. They can always share their troubles with me. I want to be a safe person to them and I want to never be too busy for them.
I feel like this is a blog that may be hard to follow my point. I'll try and sum it up better than I wrote the above paragraphs. Satan wants us to feel like we are the person in the world with trouble. He wants us to feel alone and isolated. He also wants me to feel like if I had any faith at all I would not be struggling. Lies! All lies. We are not alone. God carries us through tough times. I know for a fact that is true. Part of the reason we go through pain and God comforts us is so we can do the same for someone else. We have to be safe for people, be real, and genuinely care. We can't be afraid to share our story and how we made it through or are making it through. I must remind myself often to get out of my own head and to reach out to another. Pastor Bobby said Thursday that we have to make investments in people with authentic hearts.
Satan has many tricks up his sleeve and all are very dangerous. Based on a few conversations I have had over the last few days I want to focus on one in particular. Satan is brilliant at making us feel alone and isolated especially when we are going through a difficult time. There have been times when I have questioned why I am the only one struggling with this or that. Everyone else seems to be getting along great. What is this based on? My opinion is based on how much people smile or say they are doing great. I have even thought this while I am sitting in church! Deep in my heart I know this isn't true and I know Satan is doing a number on me. It's a battle to remember that.
I know for certain one reason that God has allowed pain in my life is so I could gain compassion. Christians are supposed to be witnesses for Christ. Here is what a witness does NOT do. They do not tell others what they can and cannot do. They DO tell others their story and where their hope comes from and are not afraid to share what the Gospel has done for them. For example, I look back to the time when Mom was dying. I firmly believed she covered a lot of her struggle up as to not upset or worry Christy, Dad, and myself. There came a point where she could no longer hide things. We knew the end was near and we knew the Lord was not going to heal her on this side of heaven. I can't tell you the pain we experienced watching her suffer. I think back to that time in my life and truly cannot explain how I made it through. I can't speak directly for Christy and Dad, but tend to think they would agree with me. That time was a complete blur and was totally surreal...like we were all part of a movie that ended sadly. The only thing I can tell people when they ask how we made it through is that God carried us. He really did. I don't know why He allowed her to suffer so much or why she had to die. I have learned since that time that I don't need to know. What I do know is that He provided the strength we needed. Dad, Christy, and myself were all going through huge personal struggles too that had nothing to do with Mom's dying. We had God's strength, each other, and some REALLY good friends. That is my testimony and I am not afraid to share it.
I know there will come a time when a friend will lose a mother. I will be able to understand their pain. I won't be able to give them all the right answers and really a person doesn't need words then. What they need is to know someone else cares and has endured that type of pain. Face it, just knowing someone else has experienced something similar helps. God comforted me and I am supposed to pass it on. Paul explains this in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. We should not keep the comfort for ourselves. There is a fine line between being comforting and trying to one up a person in their pain. Let's not be know-it-alls! It sounds weird to say, but a person needs to know you think their pain is special...it's all their and very personal to them. I hope that makes sense.
Another conversation I had at the gym really made me think too. One of my best friends in the whole world is going through a challenge within her family. This causes her great stress and emotion. What she is going through is very similar to something I had gone through prior to my mom's passing. My relationship with my mom had many facets and some were well, a bit challenging to say the least. I can offer my friend Godly wisdom because I have been there. I have walked her path and I simply get it. I have also completely blown it so I can offer ideas of what NOT to do! She can ALWAYS talk to me about what is on her heart. God has blessed both of us with each other. I'm so thankful to God that I can pass along some of the things I learned through my time of dealing with trouble.
Our church is a large church so it is crucial to get involved in a small group if you desire any sort of connection. This is where you really can build relationships. Pastor Bobby says we do life together in our small group. We were talking about this topic at our last meeting which was last Thursday. Building relationships takes time and effort. It takes making investments in people's lives. It takes getting out of our own heads. If your anything life me you also find that to be a challenge! Quality of relationships is so important. Of course having a new friend is different than our old faithfuls, but my point is we need to invest ourselves into them new or old.
We also cannot be afraid to be real with people. We can be real with those people we deem "safe." When two people invest into each other they both can be real with each other and get beyond the surface. I don't have to be stoic all the time. I hurt. I get discouraged. My heart gets heavy at times. Things bother me and I have a few close friends that I can share those hurts, discouragements, and heavy times with. They can always share their troubles with me. I want to be a safe person to them and I want to never be too busy for them.
I feel like this is a blog that may be hard to follow my point. I'll try and sum it up better than I wrote the above paragraphs. Satan wants us to feel like we are the person in the world with trouble. He wants us to feel alone and isolated. He also wants me to feel like if I had any faith at all I would not be struggling. Lies! All lies. We are not alone. God carries us through tough times. I know for a fact that is true. Part of the reason we go through pain and God comforts us is so we can do the same for someone else. We have to be safe for people, be real, and genuinely care. We can't be afraid to share our story and how we made it through or are making it through. I must remind myself often to get out of my own head and to reach out to another. Pastor Bobby said Thursday that we have to make investments in people with authentic hearts.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
We Will Walk by Faith and Not by Sight
Some of you may know that I had a somewhat discouraging doctor's appointment yesterday. It had good and challenging aspects to it. At the end of the day I was overwhelmingly discouraged. When David is out of town Eli 'camps' with me at night. So last night he woke me up around 1:45 a.m. because his heavy comforter slid off the bed and he couldn't get it back on. After I fixed his comforter he dozed off immediately. Me on the other hand...not so much. My mental wheels began turning. Whenever I open my eyes in the morning I'm overwhelmed with the challenge that lay ahead of me so if I awake in the night often I have trouble getting back to sleep. I pray, recite Bible verses, etc. The bottom line is that it's tough to get that mind to quiet down. We have all been there numerous times I'm sure.
I get mailings from In Touch Ministries. Pastor Charles Stanley is a well-known pastor and author whose home church is in Atlanta. I got up and went to the kitchen and noticed a pile of unopened mail on the counter. I opened the In Touch letter and read only one random paragraph. I really didn't even read what the topic of the letter was. Later I read the whole letter and the topic was making the choice is live by faith or succumb to doubt. Our goal when we face hurdles is to respond in faith. This pleases God. Unfortunately I often do not respond that way. My journey has been one of amazing growth and I could completely bore you with all small details that God has worked through my circumstance. There is not one ounce of me that is not grateful for the lessons that He has blessed me with. My journey has also been one of tremendous heartache and let down. Doubt is something that I battle on an hour by hour basis. In my own power I cannot fight this battle on my own. Doubt means to think something unlikely: to feel unconvinced or uncertain about something, or think that something is unlikely or to not trust somebody or something: to suspect that somebody is not sincere or trustworthy, or that something is not true, likely, or genuine.
Pastor Stanley made four points. The fourth one is the one I read in the wee hours of the night with blurry, tired eyes. It reads, "We choose to obey God and leave all consequences to Him. There may be times in your life, as there have been in mine, when trusting the Lord is in conflict with your human reason and when you fail to see Him working in your circumstances. But don't give up. Remember "we walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Cor. 5:7). Claim God's promises in faith, and do exactly as He says. You will always be glad you did." Pastor Stanley goes on to encourage the reader to trust that the Father is working on their behalf.
Wow. Now at the time this reading fell on a numb soul. The more I thought about Pastor Stanley's words the more it sunk in. For many years it has felt that God isn't doing anything good on my behalf. True, He has taught me and I truly belive I have a great deal of wisdom for a woman of my age. My mom always was a fan of discernment. She taught my sister and myself to always be discerning...to be wise. My hopes have been dashed so many times with doctor visits and medication changes, etc. and it often feels like God isn't doing much on my behalf to bring this chapter in my life to a close. The two Bible verses I cling white-knuckled to are 1. Proverbs 3:5-6, and 2. Romans 8:28. I will copy them below.
Proverbs 3:5-6) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit (acknowledge Him) to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
So back to the fourth point made by Pastor Stanley. Actually now that I think about it my study yesterday was on obeying God and shutting off reason. Huh...I just thought of that. Apparently God is trying to tell me something here! A few close friends and family know that David and myself are flying to Tucson, Arizona to see a new female hormone specialist. I hesistate to say this because I want it to work out perfectly and well, if it doesn't than no one knew we went. I'm trying to turn over a new bold leaf though...you know Spirit-inspired courage. I could go on and on and on and on with why it won't work, why she will probably be like all the other doctors I have seen (unhelpful), I'll probably have to learn to just live with this, etc. The toxic thoughts could go on for a paragraph. With my history it is difficult to think differently, but I firmly believe He is leading me (actually nudging from behind is how I like to picture it) to Tuscon. It's a pretty big deal...it's a lot of money, time, etc. Dave has to take time off work and we had to find a friend to keep Eli for us. Thanks, Kim, for offering to keep our munchkin. Actually, he asks pretty much everyday if today is the day he gets to stay with Miss Kim! I'm obeying His nudgings even despite my fear. Joyce Meyer says to "do it afraid." Again, my human reason says this won't work because I have failed to see Him working in this circumstance. There have been times when I have thought maybe this is my lot, but then a fire lights and I'm motivated to keep on and to not give up.
I'm screaming to be heard. Dr. Vliet wrote a book that I read titled Screaming to be Heard: Symptoms You Have That Your Doctor STILL Ignores. Dr. Vliet is the doctor I am going to see in August. I will not stop screaming to be heard. I will get on that airplane in complete blind faith that good WILL come from it. I will get on that airplane walking in faith and not by sight. My human sight sees what is in front of me. It hears the discouraging words from doctors, it feels the failed attempts of this hormone treatment and that hormone treatment. My faith sees something that my eyes cannot. My faith says Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, who was sent into the world. My faith cannot believe long enough or hard enough to be physically healed. I have all the faith I need when in my heart of hearts I can declare Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, who was sent into the world...despite my doubt I will take the next step in this journey and I believe that the next step is to board that airplane and fly to Tuscon. By doing this I am acting out my faith and showing trust that He is working it all out on my behalf and that pleases the Lord.
I encourage you to take that next step and not to wait until your human eyes can grasp what is ahead. 1 Cor. 5:7 says, "we will walk by faith and not by sight." Please pray that I will find answers and the doctor will know how to treat me. I also want to encourage you to obey even when human reason says it won't work. Since when does God do things in a reasonable manner?!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
I Want Wisdom!
My mom was incredibly wise. She just knew stuff...lots of stuff. She always had incredible insight into so many things. When I was a teenager I could go to her when I was having trouble and she always had something wise to say. Granted, I didn't always want to hear her tidbits of wisdom, but more times than not she was right. My mom had a rough go of it. She had a very colorful life. She lived through incredible odds and always came out on the other side much wiser. She never told me this for sure, but I would guess she asked God for wisdom (discernment and insight) as she endured her trials because she knew what she learned through them would benefit her and others she knew eventually. This past April I had to make the difficult decision to put my beloved horse to sleep. I had owned Sox for over twenty years and I knew in my gut his time had come. I still doubted though and was torn, after all, he seemed to be getting along okay. I desperately longed to be able to call Mom and ask her about it. You know, just to run it by her. She would have reassured me that I was doing the right thing and would have offered me something insightful. To my dad's credit he has stepped into Mom's place rather brilliantly since she has been gone.
James 1:5) If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:1-18 is under the tile of trials and tribulation. So how does verse five factor into passages about trials and tribulation? I will share with you what I learned from my study. Basically, testing and trials require special wisdom and insight to cope with them. When times get tough I am thrown for a loop. I lose my bearings and need God to set me straight. I need Him to direct me and get me on the right path and to help me see past the hurt. I need His wisdom to help me see good in rotten circumstances. During these times I need a wisdom that transcends my own understanding. Versebyversecommentary.com said this, "wisdom is biblical common sense. It knows how to use biblical knowledge and knows how to apply the Word to experience." Wisdom does not stop with learned knowledge of the Bible. A head knowledge is easy to acquire. How to apply what I know is the difficult part. True wisdom knows how to apply the Word of God to real life.
How do I get this prized "biblical wisdom?" I ask. I know, how wild is that?! James 1:5 assures me that God will give it to me generously and not call me stupid for not already knowing. Ask means to request or plead for. Seeking wisdom in our trials is an urgent matter. Why? Because I am a sitting duck to Satan lies especially during the hard times
Wisdom is not only gained by the study of the Bible, but also in prayer. If I listen God gives me tremendous insight during my prayer time. He desires to give me wisdom and share it with me when my soul is quiet before Him. He wants to share Himself with me. I have found this to certainly be the case during my Bible studies. He always gives me a great understanding of Scripture because I truly want it and ask Him for it. He makes me much smarter than I really am on my own! I believe the insight into why He has allowed me to suffer so over the last six years has been because I have asked Him to show me what I can learn from this and how I can mature in my faith. I don't tell you this to brag upon myself. Believe me I have learned all this the hard way!
I do not want to spend time demanding to know why He is allowing this pain or being down right mad at Him (though I have my times). I want to grow from this. My friend and I were working out together this morning talking about God, our personal struggles and victories and trying to encourage one another. We get rather deep at 9 am while I'm hauling it on the treadmill! I told Shanda that He has changed every part of me through this. He has left no stone unturned. I find it incredible that He cares enough about my smallest hangups to confront me with them. Having that attitude has made this whole fiasco much easier. Don't get me wrong, I don't always have that attitude, but that is my goal. With God's grace it is possible.
Along with strength, patience, and grace we must also ask God for wisdom when heading through a crisis. I do not want to suffer needlessly. I want my suffering to count for something and I need Godly wisdom to not miss an opportunity. I do not want any crisis to be wasted. I encourage you earnestly seek the Lord for wisdom as you go through hard times. He promises in James 1:5 to give it to you and He won't belittle you for not knowing already.
James 1:5) If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:1-18 is under the tile of trials and tribulation. So how does verse five factor into passages about trials and tribulation? I will share with you what I learned from my study. Basically, testing and trials require special wisdom and insight to cope with them. When times get tough I am thrown for a loop. I lose my bearings and need God to set me straight. I need Him to direct me and get me on the right path and to help me see past the hurt. I need His wisdom to help me see good in rotten circumstances. During these times I need a wisdom that transcends my own understanding. Versebyversecommentary.com said this, "wisdom is biblical common sense. It knows how to use biblical knowledge and knows how to apply the Word to experience." Wisdom does not stop with learned knowledge of the Bible. A head knowledge is easy to acquire. How to apply what I know is the difficult part. True wisdom knows how to apply the Word of God to real life.
How do I get this prized "biblical wisdom?" I ask. I know, how wild is that?! James 1:5 assures me that God will give it to me generously and not call me stupid for not already knowing. Ask means to request or plead for. Seeking wisdom in our trials is an urgent matter. Why? Because I am a sitting duck to Satan lies especially during the hard times
Wisdom is not only gained by the study of the Bible, but also in prayer. If I listen God gives me tremendous insight during my prayer time. He desires to give me wisdom and share it with me when my soul is quiet before Him. He wants to share Himself with me. I have found this to certainly be the case during my Bible studies. He always gives me a great understanding of Scripture because I truly want it and ask Him for it. He makes me much smarter than I really am on my own! I believe the insight into why He has allowed me to suffer so over the last six years has been because I have asked Him to show me what I can learn from this and how I can mature in my faith. I don't tell you this to brag upon myself. Believe me I have learned all this the hard way!
I do not want to spend time demanding to know why He is allowing this pain or being down right mad at Him (though I have my times). I want to grow from this. My friend and I were working out together this morning talking about God, our personal struggles and victories and trying to encourage one another. We get rather deep at 9 am while I'm hauling it on the treadmill! I told Shanda that He has changed every part of me through this. He has left no stone unturned. I find it incredible that He cares enough about my smallest hangups to confront me with them. Having that attitude has made this whole fiasco much easier. Don't get me wrong, I don't always have that attitude, but that is my goal. With God's grace it is possible.
Along with strength, patience, and grace we must also ask God for wisdom when heading through a crisis. I do not want to suffer needlessly. I want my suffering to count for something and I need Godly wisdom to not miss an opportunity. I do not want any crisis to be wasted. I encourage you earnestly seek the Lord for wisdom as you go through hard times. He promises in James 1:5 to give it to you and He won't belittle you for not knowing already.
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