I see her as a woman who grew out of an idillic childhood laced with struggles.
I see her as a child playing in the Olentangy River with her friends and digging in the dirt pile in the backyard with her daddy.
I see her as a little girl spending time with her mommy at her gift shop.
I see her as a young woman who even through rebellion, feared a distant God.
I see her as a vibrant adventuresome young woman who traveled Route 66 in search of freedom.
I see her as that same young woman driving her convertible with the wind in her hair and "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" blaring on the radio.
I see her a scared woman who chose life when others told her contrary.
I see her as a mother who worked tirelessly to support her family.
I see her as a broken woman who knew she needed a Savior down on her knees begging for His mercy.
I see her as a woman who fell in love with a wild young man with a blonde afro, hip hugger jeans, who drove a V.W. bus.
I see her as a friend sitting at the kitchen table chatting about life.
I see her as a follower of Jesus studying Scripture from her worn-in Bible.
I see her as a mother rocking her new baby girl to sleep singing "Amazing Grace."
I see her as an entrepanuer up on the roof of a horsebarn nailing sheet metal down.
I see her as an obedient wife, packing up two daughters and far too many wild thoroughbred horses, leaving behind a familiar life for one in a new town.
I see her as a woman who cared deeply for the condition of the soul of family and friends, who taught her husband and two daughters what it meant to ask Jesus to come live in their hearts.
I see her as a woman with an insasiable hunger to laugh.
I see her as a help-mate to a man who was working his fingers to the bone to provide for his three girls and still...far too many wild thoroughbreds.
I see her as a friend who stayed up past midnight talking to two girl's who had a brokenheart from boys and trouble with friends.
I see her as a clever and wise woman full of useful quotes: such as "the first 100 years of life are the hardest, NEVER date a boy prettier than you, and you just do the next thing."
I see her as a brave soul shopping for scarves and hats after a horrible diagnosis.
I see her as a thankful woman grateful for modern medicine.
I see her as a fearful wife and mother whose eyes are wet with tears as a doctor tells her fate.
I see her as a cancer patient vascilating between wanting to go to Paradise and seeing her precious grandson achieve milestones.
I see her as a follower of Jesus who, in the end, defeated cancer.
I see her as a vibrant, healthy woman who ran into the arms of her Savior.
Friday, February 24, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Not the Blog I Planned!
Today I am back to my Jesus study that most of my entries have come from. The inspiration author today is Charles Swindoll. I have such fond memories of listening to Chuck Swindoll on the car radio whenever I would travel with my mom. She loved Chuck Swindoll! As a kid I wished we could listen to music or ANYTHING other than some guy talking about God. I wasn't an overly spiritual ten year old! It really seemed like he was on every time we would go anywhere and the radio was always static-y. I always wondered how she listened to such static. As I have grown I learned that my mom had such a hunger for being taught about God she didn't mind a little static. I won't go into the details about Chuck Swindoll, but highly recommend you look him up. His radio program is called Insight for Living. We all need some insight, right?!
February 22nd is a very memorable day to me. February 22nd, 2011 lives in infamy to me. On February 22nd my dad called and said mom does not have much time left. I was scheduled to fly to Ohio on the 23rd. In the course of a few hours me and Eli's flights changed and was on board to fly to Ohio. I talked about this quite sometime ago in another blog. As we sat on the plane from Augusta to Charlotte I hoped we could make the connection because it was a tight one. My stomach churned and heart beat fast. I begged God to allow our flights to run smoothly and be on time. We even had the back seats on the tiny plane and I knew getting out would take time. Looking back I should have asked to be moved up. At any rate, I literally thought about running over 100 people to get off that plane so I could catch the next one. Once off the plane in Charlotte I ran at full speed pushing a toddler in a stroller and carrying two bags and of course a big stuffed horse named Floppy. "Please God, hold that plane," I pleaded.
We made it to the next gate just in time to board the plane that would take us from Charlotte to Dayton. My in-laws were awaiting our late night arrival in Dayton. My mother-in-law, Lou Ann, lost her mom to cancer at an early age so she fully understood what I was going through. I have thanked God for Lou many times for many reasons, but one big one for me is that she 'gets it.' I think I thanked Him about 150 times in a five minute window for allowing us to make that connection! I desperately wanted her to hold on...even though I thought I said my good-byes a few weeks earlier when I was home for my grandmother's funeral. I learned quickly you are never ready to say good-bye to your momma. I needed one more. As I sat on the plane I had many thoughts go through my head. One was how I would manage if I missed her, if she died minutes before I arrived. Another was that you never know what someone is struggling with. I'm sure other people on that plan saw Eli and myself and thought, "there is a nice mother and a cute kid...wonder if they are going to see grandparents?" I bet some people even thought I was rude as I raced past them hauling all my gear. Heck, I probably even unintentionally bumped a few people with my backpack as I ran.
Wow, so I never did get to my blog entry today! Our pastor in Cincinnati would do a similar thing. He would preach this incredible sermon. I mean one of those memorable sermons. At the end he would inform us that was not his prepared sermon and we would have to attend next week to hear the planned one! The Spirit moved him in another direction and I guess that is what has happened to me tonight. I do not have any huge revelation tonight other than we must be compassionate and slow to judge. You just never know what someone is dealing with. The other day I was behind a car that slowed and turned without using their turn signal. Heaven forbid! I was so offended at first! Did they NOT know I, Anna Limbird, was behind them?! A second later I thought to myself maybe they just found out they had cancer. Maybe their baby was just diagnosed with leukemia. Maybe they just lost their job and had no idea how they would feed their family or pay their rent.
As I close tonight I reflect on the last year. It held great pain. This is the kind of pain that takes your breath away and literally makes your heart hurt. I would be lying if I said I do not feel that degree of pain anymore. At times I do and those are the times I cry and desperately miss the most important woman in my life. The pain does not last forever and in those precious times I see God's grace. I hear His ever-so-quiet voice reminding me of the person I have become over the last year. Let's challenge each other to be more loving, compassionate, and patient.
To all of those people out there that have been on this journey with me I thank you. I thank you for your shoulders to cry on, ears to listen, loving voices, and of course, prayers. I thank you for all the wonderful memories you have shared of Mrs. Dinah Kruse. I am thankful for your love, compassion, and patience.
February 22nd is a very memorable day to me. February 22nd, 2011 lives in infamy to me. On February 22nd my dad called and said mom does not have much time left. I was scheduled to fly to Ohio on the 23rd. In the course of a few hours me and Eli's flights changed and was on board to fly to Ohio. I talked about this quite sometime ago in another blog. As we sat on the plane from Augusta to Charlotte I hoped we could make the connection because it was a tight one. My stomach churned and heart beat fast. I begged God to allow our flights to run smoothly and be on time. We even had the back seats on the tiny plane and I knew getting out would take time. Looking back I should have asked to be moved up. At any rate, I literally thought about running over 100 people to get off that plane so I could catch the next one. Once off the plane in Charlotte I ran at full speed pushing a toddler in a stroller and carrying two bags and of course a big stuffed horse named Floppy. "Please God, hold that plane," I pleaded.
We made it to the next gate just in time to board the plane that would take us from Charlotte to Dayton. My in-laws were awaiting our late night arrival in Dayton. My mother-in-law, Lou Ann, lost her mom to cancer at an early age so she fully understood what I was going through. I have thanked God for Lou many times for many reasons, but one big one for me is that she 'gets it.' I think I thanked Him about 150 times in a five minute window for allowing us to make that connection! I desperately wanted her to hold on...even though I thought I said my good-byes a few weeks earlier when I was home for my grandmother's funeral. I learned quickly you are never ready to say good-bye to your momma. I needed one more. As I sat on the plane I had many thoughts go through my head. One was how I would manage if I missed her, if she died minutes before I arrived. Another was that you never know what someone is struggling with. I'm sure other people on that plan saw Eli and myself and thought, "there is a nice mother and a cute kid...wonder if they are going to see grandparents?" I bet some people even thought I was rude as I raced past them hauling all my gear. Heck, I probably even unintentionally bumped a few people with my backpack as I ran.
Wow, so I never did get to my blog entry today! Our pastor in Cincinnati would do a similar thing. He would preach this incredible sermon. I mean one of those memorable sermons. At the end he would inform us that was not his prepared sermon and we would have to attend next week to hear the planned one! The Spirit moved him in another direction and I guess that is what has happened to me tonight. I do not have any huge revelation tonight other than we must be compassionate and slow to judge. You just never know what someone is dealing with. The other day I was behind a car that slowed and turned without using their turn signal. Heaven forbid! I was so offended at first! Did they NOT know I, Anna Limbird, was behind them?! A second later I thought to myself maybe they just found out they had cancer. Maybe their baby was just diagnosed with leukemia. Maybe they just lost their job and had no idea how they would feed their family or pay their rent.
As I close tonight I reflect on the last year. It held great pain. This is the kind of pain that takes your breath away and literally makes your heart hurt. I would be lying if I said I do not feel that degree of pain anymore. At times I do and those are the times I cry and desperately miss the most important woman in my life. The pain does not last forever and in those precious times I see God's grace. I hear His ever-so-quiet voice reminding me of the person I have become over the last year. Let's challenge each other to be more loving, compassionate, and patient.
To all of those people out there that have been on this journey with me I thank you. I thank you for your shoulders to cry on, ears to listen, loving voices, and of course, prayers. I thank you for all the wonderful memories you have shared of Mrs. Dinah Kruse. I am thankful for your love, compassion, and patience.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Abiding
I apologize for my departure from my usual study book and blog entries. My other book has been my inspiration these past few days. Love that Joyce Meyer!
Today we will look at another "church-y" phrase, abiding in Christ.
John 15:4-5) Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
Abiding in God is a supernatural experience. It is a personal intimate experience of me with God. It is living every moment with Jesus right next to me. When I draw near to Him He draws near to me. Sin keeps me from abiding in Christ. The more I abide in Christ the more I experience His internal radiance shining through me. I exude joy and peace and the remaining fruits of the Spirit. When I abide with Christ those moments have eternal value.
Galatians 5:22-23) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
What does the word abide really mean? The definition is to wait for, to endure, to bear patiently, to accept without objection, to remain stable or in a fixed state, to continue in a place, to stay, to endure. To wait for the Lord means that I do not act in the arm of the flesh and I seek His will over mine. I bear patiently even when I don't feel like it or when it seems like He is not acting or holding up His end of the bargain. I wait for His revealed plan and will. I do not object Him and continue to live a life of submission. I do not let my feeling control me and I remain stable. Continuing in a place means I spend more time with Him out of love and not duty.
Abiding in Him is a learned discipline. It does not happen over night and is part of my journey to becoming more Christ-like. As I mature in my relationship with the Lord abiding becomes my chosen location and way of life. According to www.gotquestions.org there is proof that someone is truly abiding in Christ with their whole hearts. The following really made me look inside my own life and realize how far I have come and how far I have yet to go. Joyce always says, "thank God I am not where I was!" I love that! Here is a great list to use to evaluate our own lives.
1. Do I obey His commands?
John 15:10) If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.
2. Do I follow His example?
1 John 2:5-6) But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.
3. Do I live free from habitual sin?
1 John 3:6) No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.
4. Am I aware of the Holy Spirit in every aspect of my life?
1 John 4:13) This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit.
I was completely uncomfortable when I read through this list. Here is the awesome thing...He knows we fail and loves us anyway! He picked us when we were in our rotten state. He didn't say, "oh Anna has really got it together now so I pick her to be on my team." Nope, He picked me before I had the Spirit in me. I think that is just fantastic! Abiding in Christ is not all that confusing of a phrase especially when you can read the list above and see where you need work. I love the safety of abiding in Christ and the joy and peace is provides.
Today we will look at another "church-y" phrase, abiding in Christ.
John 15:4-5) Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."
Abiding in God is a supernatural experience. It is a personal intimate experience of me with God. It is living every moment with Jesus right next to me. When I draw near to Him He draws near to me. Sin keeps me from abiding in Christ. The more I abide in Christ the more I experience His internal radiance shining through me. I exude joy and peace and the remaining fruits of the Spirit. When I abide with Christ those moments have eternal value.
Galatians 5:22-23) But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
What does the word abide really mean? The definition is to wait for, to endure, to bear patiently, to accept without objection, to remain stable or in a fixed state, to continue in a place, to stay, to endure. To wait for the Lord means that I do not act in the arm of the flesh and I seek His will over mine. I bear patiently even when I don't feel like it or when it seems like He is not acting or holding up His end of the bargain. I wait for His revealed plan and will. I do not object Him and continue to live a life of submission. I do not let my feeling control me and I remain stable. Continuing in a place means I spend more time with Him out of love and not duty.
Abiding in Him is a learned discipline. It does not happen over night and is part of my journey to becoming more Christ-like. As I mature in my relationship with the Lord abiding becomes my chosen location and way of life. According to www.gotquestions.org there is proof that someone is truly abiding in Christ with their whole hearts. The following really made me look inside my own life and realize how far I have come and how far I have yet to go. Joyce always says, "thank God I am not where I was!" I love that! Here is a great list to use to evaluate our own lives.
1. Do I obey His commands?
John 15:10) If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love.
2. Do I follow His example?
1 John 2:5-6) But if anyone obeys his word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in him: Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.
3. Do I live free from habitual sin?
1 John 3:6) No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.
4. Am I aware of the Holy Spirit in every aspect of my life?
1 John 4:13) This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit.
I was completely uncomfortable when I read through this list. Here is the awesome thing...He knows we fail and loves us anyway! He picked us when we were in our rotten state. He didn't say, "oh Anna has really got it together now so I pick her to be on my team." Nope, He picked me before I had the Spirit in me. I think that is just fantastic! Abiding in Christ is not all that confusing of a phrase especially when you can read the list above and see where you need work. I love the safety of abiding in Christ and the joy and peace is provides.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Works of the Flesh
Today I read through the next chapter in the book I'm studying with my friends. It is titled Be Anxious for Nothing and is authored by Joyce Meyer. Joyce is one of those teachers that is able to convict me with everything she says. Her book Battlefield of the Mind was life-changing for me. I highly recommend it along with many of her books. You can also catch her on TBN. I set my DVR to record her show. It comes on while I'm at the gym in the morning. My usual blog entries are based on the other book I'm studying, but I had some random thoughts as I read my Joyce Meyer book today.
I have heard the phrase "works of the flesh" tossed around a lot at church. I think it is one of those "church-y" phrases. The chapter I am on is titled "Cast Your Care, Not Your Burden." Everything she says or writes is for me. When I watch her on T.V. it feels like she's staring right at me while she talks! The section of the chapter I will focus on today is about how only frustration comes out of working in the flesh. At first I did not think much about the phrase mentioned earlier because I have heard it so much. Works of flesh are useless to God I have been taught. I began to think, maybe I don't know what it really means.
Joyce says there is a difference between work and works. I have never thought about the difference. Here is her definition of each. Work is doing by the grace of God what He has called us to do. Works is doing by our own strength and ability what we want done. I use my energy to try and make happen what only God can do. God is the only one who can make anything happen so participating in works is self-defeating from the get-go.
Here is another point that hit home for me. I will explain a little why. I have mentioned this before on this blog, but I have had serious hormonal issues for many years. No doctor could tell me what was going on or why. They did not know why I could not have a child than after going through I.V.F. they could not tell me why I still felt awful. It is scary to have something wrong with you and no one can tell you why. After being put on hormones like I was a 50+ year old woman I was hopeful to feel better. Wrong. I became obsessed with trying to figure it all out myself. No one could help me or tell me anything. My doses were changed many times without any relief. I started this journey almost three years ago with close to zero estrogen and progesterone and then toss in a thyroid condition and you have a real party! It was discovered I literally had toxic levels of progesterone in me (due to being overdosed), but my treatment was not changed. I didn't know enough to question much of anything. It was not until over a year later and a move to Georgia when a new pharmacist discovered my dosing was VERY wrong. It was also discovered that my estrogen went from 8 to over 100 with 10 being the cut off in four months. It was also recently discovered another hormone in my thyroid was not properly working. So as you can see the swings have been drastic and wild. I am not sure which is worse...no hormones or toxic levels of them. Let's just put it this way...I literally feel like I've been pregnant for three years and that does not count the time before being diagnosed with this mysterious hormone condition. Dave and I joke that I could give birth to a three year old! I do not tell you this to complain and there are incredible things I have learned along the way...most spiritual, but not all.
My point is I have desperately wanted to understand it all. I have read at length about hormone conditions, hormone replacement therapy, natural cures, etc. I have totally and completely overwhelmed myself wanting to know why and how I can get better and when and when will this 12 pounds of hormone-weight come off and when will this or that symptom go away and when will I feel like Anna again and what if I am always so tired my eyes pulsate and how it will all happen and who is the best doctor to help and what did I do to cause it all and how can I be sure to not have that happen again and when will my hair stop falling out and why did my old compounding pharmacist not see that a progesterone level of 11,391 was NOT healthy (I started at 15 for reference), etc. If your head spun reading this my head spun typing it! I typed it that way so you could understand the idea of works of the flesh. I have been working in my brain which means I have worried, reasoned, and tried to figured out how to make things happen according to what I want and when I want it. We can literally get ourselves in a tizzy reasoning. So works of the flesh are not necessarily doing something physical. For me, works of the flesh happens in my mind, my thoughts.
Satan wants us in a tizzy. He does not want us to live in joy and peace in the MIDST of trials. The Apostle Paul shares his heart in the verses below. On a side note, I am sure that Paul was one of the first people my mom wanted to meet in heaven!
Philippians 4:11-13) "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
These are fighting words to Satan. Satan feeds us lies. He says when you FEEL great you will have joy, when your favorite jeans fit again you will be happy, when you have that promotion at work you will be content, when your driving that new SUV you will have joy, etc. The list goes on. We spend a majority of our time trying to figure out how we can get all the above. In my own life the devil has used works of the flesh to steal my joy. A reasoning mind is not a peaceful and restful mind. He loves when I'm all stirred up and worried that I will feel this way forever. Paul says we can be content in anything and we can have peace though it all. We can even find rest when life is not restful. How? ONLY by the grace of God. My whole situation has confused not only me, but very capable professionals. Satan loves confusion.
There have been times when frustration has owned me. I have screamed, cried...ask Dave and some close friends. Frustration rears its ugly head when I am acting in the works of the flesh. Only by God's strength can I wait for Him to move in His own way and in His own timing. In closing I will share a Bible verse for encouragement to anyone reading and to myself.
Psalm 46:10) That's enough! Now know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations; I am exalted throughout the world!"
Here is another translation.
Psalm 46:10) He says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.
I must decide to drop my hands, let the burdens fall, quiet my soul, relax, breath deeply and say, "You are God and I am not. Your ways are not my ways. I do not understand what you are doing, but I will NOT act or think in the ways of my flesh."
I have heard the phrase "works of the flesh" tossed around a lot at church. I think it is one of those "church-y" phrases. The chapter I am on is titled "Cast Your Care, Not Your Burden." Everything she says or writes is for me. When I watch her on T.V. it feels like she's staring right at me while she talks! The section of the chapter I will focus on today is about how only frustration comes out of working in the flesh. At first I did not think much about the phrase mentioned earlier because I have heard it so much. Works of flesh are useless to God I have been taught. I began to think, maybe I don't know what it really means.
Joyce says there is a difference between work and works. I have never thought about the difference. Here is her definition of each. Work is doing by the grace of God what He has called us to do. Works is doing by our own strength and ability what we want done. I use my energy to try and make happen what only God can do. God is the only one who can make anything happen so participating in works is self-defeating from the get-go.
Here is another point that hit home for me. I will explain a little why. I have mentioned this before on this blog, but I have had serious hormonal issues for many years. No doctor could tell me what was going on or why. They did not know why I could not have a child than after going through I.V.F. they could not tell me why I still felt awful. It is scary to have something wrong with you and no one can tell you why. After being put on hormones like I was a 50+ year old woman I was hopeful to feel better. Wrong. I became obsessed with trying to figure it all out myself. No one could help me or tell me anything. My doses were changed many times without any relief. I started this journey almost three years ago with close to zero estrogen and progesterone and then toss in a thyroid condition and you have a real party! It was discovered I literally had toxic levels of progesterone in me (due to being overdosed), but my treatment was not changed. I didn't know enough to question much of anything. It was not until over a year later and a move to Georgia when a new pharmacist discovered my dosing was VERY wrong. It was also discovered that my estrogen went from 8 to over 100 with 10 being the cut off in four months. It was also recently discovered another hormone in my thyroid was not properly working. So as you can see the swings have been drastic and wild. I am not sure which is worse...no hormones or toxic levels of them. Let's just put it this way...I literally feel like I've been pregnant for three years and that does not count the time before being diagnosed with this mysterious hormone condition. Dave and I joke that I could give birth to a three year old! I do not tell you this to complain and there are incredible things I have learned along the way...most spiritual, but not all.
My point is I have desperately wanted to understand it all. I have read at length about hormone conditions, hormone replacement therapy, natural cures, etc. I have totally and completely overwhelmed myself wanting to know why and how I can get better and when and when will this 12 pounds of hormone-weight come off and when will this or that symptom go away and when will I feel like Anna again and what if I am always so tired my eyes pulsate and how it will all happen and who is the best doctor to help and what did I do to cause it all and how can I be sure to not have that happen again and when will my hair stop falling out and why did my old compounding pharmacist not see that a progesterone level of 11,391 was NOT healthy (I started at 15 for reference), etc. If your head spun reading this my head spun typing it! I typed it that way so you could understand the idea of works of the flesh. I have been working in my brain which means I have worried, reasoned, and tried to figured out how to make things happen according to what I want and when I want it. We can literally get ourselves in a tizzy reasoning. So works of the flesh are not necessarily doing something physical. For me, works of the flesh happens in my mind, my thoughts.
Satan wants us in a tizzy. He does not want us to live in joy and peace in the MIDST of trials. The Apostle Paul shares his heart in the verses below. On a side note, I am sure that Paul was one of the first people my mom wanted to meet in heaven!
Philippians 4:11-13) "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength."
These are fighting words to Satan. Satan feeds us lies. He says when you FEEL great you will have joy, when your favorite jeans fit again you will be happy, when you have that promotion at work you will be content, when your driving that new SUV you will have joy, etc. The list goes on. We spend a majority of our time trying to figure out how we can get all the above. In my own life the devil has used works of the flesh to steal my joy. A reasoning mind is not a peaceful and restful mind. He loves when I'm all stirred up and worried that I will feel this way forever. Paul says we can be content in anything and we can have peace though it all. We can even find rest when life is not restful. How? ONLY by the grace of God. My whole situation has confused not only me, but very capable professionals. Satan loves confusion.
There have been times when frustration has owned me. I have screamed, cried...ask Dave and some close friends. Frustration rears its ugly head when I am acting in the works of the flesh. Only by God's strength can I wait for Him to move in His own way and in His own timing. In closing I will share a Bible verse for encouragement to anyone reading and to myself.
Psalm 46:10) That's enough! Now know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations; I am exalted throughout the world!"
Here is another translation.
Psalm 46:10) He says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.
I must decide to drop my hands, let the burdens fall, quiet my soul, relax, breath deeply and say, "You are God and I am not. Your ways are not my ways. I do not understand what you are doing, but I will NOT act or think in the ways of my flesh."
Friday, February 17, 2012
A Special Place Called Heaven
Dave Veerman served as a senior editor for the Life Application Bible and has authored many other books. He and another man founded the Livingstone Corporation which is an editing company that has authored and edited over 250 books. His writing regarding heaven inspired my entry today.
John 14:2) "There are many rooms in my Father's home, and I am going to prepare a place for you, If this were not so, I would tell you plainly."
First off, as I was writing this blog entry the song Heaven by Bryan Adams came to mind. Funny, huh? Now that I mention it you probably will not be able to get it out of your head.
And baby you're all that I want
When your lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I find it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
Okay, on to more spiritual things... It sounds crazy to say but so many times I have wanted to call Mom to see what heaven is like. She was ALWAYS a phone call away. Deleting her number off my phone was a pretty big deal.
In John 14:2 Jesus is referring to heaven. God lives in heaven and currently Jesus sits at His right hand. It is a debated issue, but some believe the angel Gabriel sits on God's other side. I have read a few books regarding heaven and they are Heaven is for Real and Ninety Minutes in Heaven. There is also a children's version of Heaven is for Real which is fantastic. I started a book by Randy Alcorn titled Heaven that I am yet to complete. It is D-E-E-P, DEEP! None of these books can do heaven justice. Actually, the authors of the Bible had trouble doing it justice. John speaks of heaven in Revelation 21-22. If you are feeling brave please read Revelation...and know that my head spun too.
Revelation 21:1) Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea."
We speak quite often about heaven in our household for several reasons. Deuteronomy 6:7 says," Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." This verse is talking about the principles of God. One of the main goals of parenting Eli to Dave and myself is for Eli to live and breath God. We do not want God to be a Sunday-only thing. We want Him intertwined in our everyday life and conversations. Heaven is also a hot topic because Eli knows Grandma Dinah is there. In fact, he rubbed her hands minutes before she entered those pearly gates. Eli likes to ask questions about the New Earth...will Floppy be there, will my Christmas toys be there, etc.? For those of you who do not know who Floppy is he is an enormous stuffed horse that was bought by my mom for Eli many years ago. Floppy is our fourth family member and has been restuffed and restitched more times than I can remember. Eli will say in the car, "mommy, when we are on the New Earth I'm going to have X,Y,Z and will give Grandma Dinah a big hug." To him, the New Earth is just another fact of life. Doesn't the Bible say something about having the faith of a child?! Eli doesn't spend any time contemplating what the New Earth will be like. He just believes it will come and it will be dreamy.
The Bible does share some information regarding heaven. Here are a few verses that clue us in to heaven. Heaven will be...
1. A kingdom- 2 Peter 1:11) and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
2. An inheritance- and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you...
3. A country- Hebrews 11:16) Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
4. A city- Hebrews 11:16) Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
5. A home- 2 Corinthians 5:8) Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.
I wish I could know more details of heaven. At times I have wanted to know exactly what it is like. I have even felt fearful when the thought of heaven comes to mind. Satan loves when the thought of heaven scares me which is strange coming from someone who comes from hell and will spend eternity there. Now the thought of that is scary and should be! When I set my curiosity aside I do not really want to know what heaven will be like because if my mind can comprehend it it would not be heaven.
Heaven is a real place. Nor every one is privileged enough to spend eternity there.
John 3:16) “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:36) Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.
John 14:6) Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 17:3) And this is eternal life,that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.
Acts 4:12) And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”
Jesus means He is the only way to heaven. There are no good works, gifts, money, religiosity (thanks Bobby Smith for using this word last night at J-Group) or anything else that will enable me to go to heaven.
I know enough about heaven to know I want to go. God has shown compassion by letting those who study Scripture in on a few details. How to get there is clear and is rather black and white. At times I more details...what else IS there? My mind cannot comprehend what it will be like. Here is what I know for sure WILL NOT be there; death, sorrow, crying, pain.
Revelation 21:4) ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
After writing this entry I have decided I want to go to heaven for what will NOT be there!
John 14:2) "There are many rooms in my Father's home, and I am going to prepare a place for you, If this were not so, I would tell you plainly."
First off, as I was writing this blog entry the song Heaven by Bryan Adams came to mind. Funny, huh? Now that I mention it you probably will not be able to get it out of your head.
And baby you're all that I want
When your lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I find it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
Okay, on to more spiritual things... It sounds crazy to say but so many times I have wanted to call Mom to see what heaven is like. She was ALWAYS a phone call away. Deleting her number off my phone was a pretty big deal.
In John 14:2 Jesus is referring to heaven. God lives in heaven and currently Jesus sits at His right hand. It is a debated issue, but some believe the angel Gabriel sits on God's other side. I have read a few books regarding heaven and they are Heaven is for Real and Ninety Minutes in Heaven. There is also a children's version of Heaven is for Real which is fantastic. I started a book by Randy Alcorn titled Heaven that I am yet to complete. It is D-E-E-P, DEEP! None of these books can do heaven justice. Actually, the authors of the Bible had trouble doing it justice. John speaks of heaven in Revelation 21-22. If you are feeling brave please read Revelation...and know that my head spun too.
Revelation 21:1) Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea."
We speak quite often about heaven in our household for several reasons. Deuteronomy 6:7 says," Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up." This verse is talking about the principles of God. One of the main goals of parenting Eli to Dave and myself is for Eli to live and breath God. We do not want God to be a Sunday-only thing. We want Him intertwined in our everyday life and conversations. Heaven is also a hot topic because Eli knows Grandma Dinah is there. In fact, he rubbed her hands minutes before she entered those pearly gates. Eli likes to ask questions about the New Earth...will Floppy be there, will my Christmas toys be there, etc.? For those of you who do not know who Floppy is he is an enormous stuffed horse that was bought by my mom for Eli many years ago. Floppy is our fourth family member and has been restuffed and restitched more times than I can remember. Eli will say in the car, "mommy, when we are on the New Earth I'm going to have X,Y,Z and will give Grandma Dinah a big hug." To him, the New Earth is just another fact of life. Doesn't the Bible say something about having the faith of a child?! Eli doesn't spend any time contemplating what the New Earth will be like. He just believes it will come and it will be dreamy.
The Bible does share some information regarding heaven. Here are a few verses that clue us in to heaven. Heaven will be...
1. A kingdom- 2 Peter 1:11) and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
2. An inheritance- and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you...
3. A country- Hebrews 11:16) Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
4. A city- Hebrews 11:16) Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
5. A home- 2 Corinthians 5:8) Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.
I wish I could know more details of heaven. At times I have wanted to know exactly what it is like. I have even felt fearful when the thought of heaven comes to mind. Satan loves when the thought of heaven scares me which is strange coming from someone who comes from hell and will spend eternity there. Now the thought of that is scary and should be! When I set my curiosity aside I do not really want to know what heaven will be like because if my mind can comprehend it it would not be heaven.
Heaven is a real place. Nor every one is privileged enough to spend eternity there.
John 3:16) “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:36) Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.
John 14:6) Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 17:3) And this is eternal life,that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.
Acts 4:12) And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”
Jesus means He is the only way to heaven. There are no good works, gifts, money, religiosity (thanks Bobby Smith for using this word last night at J-Group) or anything else that will enable me to go to heaven.
I know enough about heaven to know I want to go. God has shown compassion by letting those who study Scripture in on a few details. How to get there is clear and is rather black and white. At times I more details...what else IS there? My mind cannot comprehend what it will be like. Here is what I know for sure WILL NOT be there; death, sorrow, crying, pain.
Revelation 21:4) ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
After writing this entry I have decided I want to go to heaven for what will NOT be there!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
T-R-U-S-T
Max Lucado is today's author. He is probably one of my favorite authors and his book, He Still Moves Stones is in the top five best books ever in my opinion. Google him to see a complete list of books. He is incredible at being able to create an image with his words that is clear as day in your brain. On to the study.
John 14:1) "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me."
Sometimes I think I know the definition of a word, but I really don't. I decided to look up the word 'trust' and see what I could learn.
Trust- firm reliance on the integrity, ability, etc. of a person or thing
- confident expectation
- to have confidence in
- to hope (the feeling that something desired is possible) in
In today's study Max is discussing the return of Christ. If you are anything like me the thought of the unknown is scary. I am not one for change either. I have a hard time imagining this earth is not all there is. Because I decided to believe the Bible I trust there is something else, something better ahead. I am not willing to mess with eternity here. Years ago I remember seeing a bumper sticker that simple said, "What if it is true?" How impacting! I KNOW it is true because I trust the Word of God. I rely on it's integrity because the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. There are many details I do not understand and I am slowly learning that is okay.
2 Timothy 3:16-17) Every Scripture is inspired by God (God-breathed) and is useful for teaching, for showing mistakes, for correcting, and for training character, so that the person who belongs to God can be equipped to do everything that is good.
Like I said earlier, Max is writing about the Second Coming and how we are to trust His timing. Only God knows when Jesus will return. Jesus wanted to comfort His disciples when He spoke these words and also wants to comfort us in our present struggles. He knew we would wonder about His return and heaven. Max advises to trust God that Jesus will arrive again just at the right time and that He has prepared a place for us.
John 14:2) In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
There is something I must share though. It is on my heart today since we are discussing trust. When my mom got sick it really shook my faith. Then she died an atrocious death and I've found it difficult to trust Him. As I pray through my own health struggles it has been a challenge to pray with confidence. When people remind me He knows best I want to do one of three things, 1) agree because deep down I know He does, 2) cry because it does not seem like it, 3) smack them and say, "yeah well tell me that (and my family and mother) as mom writhed and screamed during the last hours of her life." When all the emotions pass I come back to one fact. He does know best and I trust Him.
I mentioned before there are many details of the Bible I do not understand. Why does this happen? Why does that happen? Questions are healthy, but God knows our hearts in the reason we are asking them. He knows why I am asking why. Why did a woman, who desperately loved God, die a torturous death? The list could go on. What good is there in these situations? The details on heaven are very scarce in the Bible. Why? Because He wants me to trust Him. I believe the second after Mom's heart stopped beating she met the Lord face to face. I thought about that fact as I sit beside her body...WOW. This will be the case for every person, follower of Jesus or not. I believe He may have even showed her the good that came from her suffering and subsequent death. There is not Biblical basis for my thought other than He is rich in mercy.
Ephesians 2:4) However, God is rich in mercy...
Mom believed the Bible because she trusted God. Quite frankly, the strength she displayed throughout her battle was nothing short of miraculous. She wanted desperately to live. She loved life! In the end, when her brain was completely destroyed I believe her soul shouted, "I trust you God."
John 14:1) "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in Me."
Sometimes I think I know the definition of a word, but I really don't. I decided to look up the word 'trust' and see what I could learn.
Trust- firm reliance on the integrity, ability, etc. of a person or thing
- confident expectation
- to have confidence in
- to hope (the feeling that something desired is possible) in
In today's study Max is discussing the return of Christ. If you are anything like me the thought of the unknown is scary. I am not one for change either. I have a hard time imagining this earth is not all there is. Because I decided to believe the Bible I trust there is something else, something better ahead. I am not willing to mess with eternity here. Years ago I remember seeing a bumper sticker that simple said, "What if it is true?" How impacting! I KNOW it is true because I trust the Word of God. I rely on it's integrity because the Bible is the inerrant Word of God. There are many details I do not understand and I am slowly learning that is okay.
2 Timothy 3:16-17) Every Scripture is inspired by God (God-breathed) and is useful for teaching, for showing mistakes, for correcting, and for training character, so that the person who belongs to God can be equipped to do everything that is good.
Like I said earlier, Max is writing about the Second Coming and how we are to trust His timing. Only God knows when Jesus will return. Jesus wanted to comfort His disciples when He spoke these words and also wants to comfort us in our present struggles. He knew we would wonder about His return and heaven. Max advises to trust God that Jesus will arrive again just at the right time and that He has prepared a place for us.
John 14:2) In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
There is something I must share though. It is on my heart today since we are discussing trust. When my mom got sick it really shook my faith. Then she died an atrocious death and I've found it difficult to trust Him. As I pray through my own health struggles it has been a challenge to pray with confidence. When people remind me He knows best I want to do one of three things, 1) agree because deep down I know He does, 2) cry because it does not seem like it, 3) smack them and say, "yeah well tell me that (and my family and mother) as mom writhed and screamed during the last hours of her life." When all the emotions pass I come back to one fact. He does know best and I trust Him.
I mentioned before there are many details of the Bible I do not understand. Why does this happen? Why does that happen? Questions are healthy, but God knows our hearts in the reason we are asking them. He knows why I am asking why. Why did a woman, who desperately loved God, die a torturous death? The list could go on. What good is there in these situations? The details on heaven are very scarce in the Bible. Why? Because He wants me to trust Him. I believe the second after Mom's heart stopped beating she met the Lord face to face. I thought about that fact as I sit beside her body...WOW. This will be the case for every person, follower of Jesus or not. I believe He may have even showed her the good that came from her suffering and subsequent death. There is not Biblical basis for my thought other than He is rich in mercy.
Ephesians 2:4) However, God is rich in mercy...
Mom believed the Bible because she trusted God. Quite frankly, the strength she displayed throughout her battle was nothing short of miraculous. She wanted desperately to live. She loved life! In the end, when her brain was completely destroyed I believe her soul shouted, "I trust you God."
Monday, February 13, 2012
A New Kind of Love
Today I moved onto to the next study in my book. Jonathan Edwards is today's writer. He is often called "America's greatest theologian." He was born in 1703 and went to be with the Lord in 1758 after receiving a small pox inoculation. He was a pastor, theologian, and missionary. He was a missionary to the Native America's in the new America. At age 13 he entered Yale College and later graduated as Valedictorian! He was a Calvinist of Puritan heritage. He played an important role in the shaping the First Great Awakening and stood for gender equality.
John 13:34) A new commandment I give unto you, That you love one another; as I have loved you, that you may also love one another.
As a Christian the true mark of the Holy Spirit is my ability to love. Jesus knew what was ahead of Him on this night. He must have felt it important to stress love to His disciples. To fully understand this I must also understand the relationship between Jesus and the Disciples and the relationship between all the men.
Each of these men had completely dropped EVERYTHING to follow Jesus. They left jobs, family and friends. They left their reputations to follow this crazed man called Jesus. They were beaten, imprisoned, and I have a feeling knew they also may be martyred eventually. They loved Jesus and felt the world needed to know Jesus' love for all mankind, Jew and Gentile alike. Jesus knew His men would need to fully understand divine love because they would watch Him be tortured and murdered...and would need to forgive those responsible.
Then there was the relationship between all the Disciples. We all know familiarity can breed contempt so I am guessing there were issues among the men. They probably did their share of arguing. Being the humans they were they may have jockeyed for position with Jesus. I bet they argued who loved Jesus the most and who Jesus loved the most! Often when times get stressful we take our worries out on those closest to us. I have read statistics on the amount of families that split up after a family tragedy. It is rather high. Judas and Peter's actions probably let the other men down. Each man may have had their own personal worries about what happens next. Jesus was going to be killed and He told them He had to leave them. Remember they did not have the end of the story laid out in a book before them. Jesus wanted to be sure they continued to love each other through their angst and heartbreak.
My guess is He knew the Disciples would need to love those who were responsible for His death. He also knew their lives would not get easier. Off the top of my head I believe all the Disciples were martyred except Judas and John. Judas killed himself and John died of old age. Jesus had profound words as He hung on the cross.
Luke 23:34) Jesus said, "Father forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing..."
We are to forgive just as God has forgiven us. I believe He is reminding His men to show love towards those who will kill Him. True love and forgiveness go hand in hand.
As usual with a few short words Jesus offers so much instruction. He knows the challenges He and His men have already gone though and knows what is ahead. He knows true, divinely-inspired love is needed to continue His mission. Without the type of love spoken of in 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 we are useless to His cause. He has a mission at hand for us. Jesus never said this type and degree of love would be easy. I, for one, have not perfected it. I am pretty good at loving the easy people...those I like and like me back. It is the rest I find a challenge! With my own will it is impossible. With God it is not impossible.
Luke 18:27) Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
1 Corinthians 13:1-7) If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
John 13:34) A new commandment I give unto you, That you love one another; as I have loved you, that you may also love one another.
As a Christian the true mark of the Holy Spirit is my ability to love. Jesus knew what was ahead of Him on this night. He must have felt it important to stress love to His disciples. To fully understand this I must also understand the relationship between Jesus and the Disciples and the relationship between all the men.
Each of these men had completely dropped EVERYTHING to follow Jesus. They left jobs, family and friends. They left their reputations to follow this crazed man called Jesus. They were beaten, imprisoned, and I have a feeling knew they also may be martyred eventually. They loved Jesus and felt the world needed to know Jesus' love for all mankind, Jew and Gentile alike. Jesus knew His men would need to fully understand divine love because they would watch Him be tortured and murdered...and would need to forgive those responsible.
Then there was the relationship between all the Disciples. We all know familiarity can breed contempt so I am guessing there were issues among the men. They probably did their share of arguing. Being the humans they were they may have jockeyed for position with Jesus. I bet they argued who loved Jesus the most and who Jesus loved the most! Often when times get stressful we take our worries out on those closest to us. I have read statistics on the amount of families that split up after a family tragedy. It is rather high. Judas and Peter's actions probably let the other men down. Each man may have had their own personal worries about what happens next. Jesus was going to be killed and He told them He had to leave them. Remember they did not have the end of the story laid out in a book before them. Jesus wanted to be sure they continued to love each other through their angst and heartbreak.
My guess is He knew the Disciples would need to love those who were responsible for His death. He also knew their lives would not get easier. Off the top of my head I believe all the Disciples were martyred except Judas and John. Judas killed himself and John died of old age. Jesus had profound words as He hung on the cross.
Luke 23:34) Jesus said, "Father forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing..."
We are to forgive just as God has forgiven us. I believe He is reminding His men to show love towards those who will kill Him. True love and forgiveness go hand in hand.
As usual with a few short words Jesus offers so much instruction. He knows the challenges He and His men have already gone though and knows what is ahead. He knows true, divinely-inspired love is needed to continue His mission. Without the type of love spoken of in 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 we are useless to His cause. He has a mission at hand for us. Jesus never said this type and degree of love would be easy. I, for one, have not perfected it. I am pretty good at loving the easy people...those I like and like me back. It is the rest I find a challenge! With my own will it is impossible. With God it is not impossible.
Luke 18:27) Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
1 Corinthians 13:1-7) If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
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