Tuesday, July 24, 2012
We Will Walk by Faith and Not by Sight
Some of you may know that I had a somewhat discouraging doctor's appointment yesterday. It had good and challenging aspects to it. At the end of the day I was overwhelmingly discouraged. When David is out of town Eli 'camps' with me at night. So last night he woke me up around 1:45 a.m. because his heavy comforter slid off the bed and he couldn't get it back on. After I fixed his comforter he dozed off immediately. Me on the other hand...not so much. My mental wheels began turning. Whenever I open my eyes in the morning I'm overwhelmed with the challenge that lay ahead of me so if I awake in the night often I have trouble getting back to sleep. I pray, recite Bible verses, etc. The bottom line is that it's tough to get that mind to quiet down. We have all been there numerous times I'm sure.
I get mailings from In Touch Ministries. Pastor Charles Stanley is a well-known pastor and author whose home church is in Atlanta. I got up and went to the kitchen and noticed a pile of unopened mail on the counter. I opened the In Touch letter and read only one random paragraph. I really didn't even read what the topic of the letter was. Later I read the whole letter and the topic was making the choice is live by faith or succumb to doubt. Our goal when we face hurdles is to respond in faith. This pleases God. Unfortunately I often do not respond that way. My journey has been one of amazing growth and I could completely bore you with all small details that God has worked through my circumstance. There is not one ounce of me that is not grateful for the lessons that He has blessed me with. My journey has also been one of tremendous heartache and let down. Doubt is something that I battle on an hour by hour basis. In my own power I cannot fight this battle on my own. Doubt means to think something unlikely: to feel unconvinced or uncertain about something, or think that something is unlikely or to not trust somebody or something: to suspect that somebody is not sincere or trustworthy, or that something is not true, likely, or genuine.
Pastor Stanley made four points. The fourth one is the one I read in the wee hours of the night with blurry, tired eyes. It reads, "We choose to obey God and leave all consequences to Him. There may be times in your life, as there have been in mine, when trusting the Lord is in conflict with your human reason and when you fail to see Him working in your circumstances. But don't give up. Remember "we walk by faith, not by sight" (2 Cor. 5:7). Claim God's promises in faith, and do exactly as He says. You will always be glad you did." Pastor Stanley goes on to encourage the reader to trust that the Father is working on their behalf.
Wow. Now at the time this reading fell on a numb soul. The more I thought about Pastor Stanley's words the more it sunk in. For many years it has felt that God isn't doing anything good on my behalf. True, He has taught me and I truly belive I have a great deal of wisdom for a woman of my age. My mom always was a fan of discernment. She taught my sister and myself to always be discerning...to be wise. My hopes have been dashed so many times with doctor visits and medication changes, etc. and it often feels like God isn't doing much on my behalf to bring this chapter in my life to a close. The two Bible verses I cling white-knuckled to are 1. Proverbs 3:5-6, and 2. Romans 8:28. I will copy them below.
Proverbs 3:5-6) Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit (acknowledge Him) to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
So back to the fourth point made by Pastor Stanley. Actually now that I think about it my study yesterday was on obeying God and shutting off reason. Huh...I just thought of that. Apparently God is trying to tell me something here! A few close friends and family know that David and myself are flying to Tucson, Arizona to see a new female hormone specialist. I hesistate to say this because I want it to work out perfectly and well, if it doesn't than no one knew we went. I'm trying to turn over a new bold leaf though...you know Spirit-inspired courage. I could go on and on and on and on with why it won't work, why she will probably be like all the other doctors I have seen (unhelpful), I'll probably have to learn to just live with this, etc. The toxic thoughts could go on for a paragraph. With my history it is difficult to think differently, but I firmly believe He is leading me (actually nudging from behind is how I like to picture it) to Tuscon. It's a pretty big deal...it's a lot of money, time, etc. Dave has to take time off work and we had to find a friend to keep Eli for us. Thanks, Kim, for offering to keep our munchkin. Actually, he asks pretty much everyday if today is the day he gets to stay with Miss Kim! I'm obeying His nudgings even despite my fear. Joyce Meyer says to "do it afraid." Again, my human reason says this won't work because I have failed to see Him working in this circumstance. There have been times when I have thought maybe this is my lot, but then a fire lights and I'm motivated to keep on and to not give up.
I'm screaming to be heard. Dr. Vliet wrote a book that I read titled Screaming to be Heard: Symptoms You Have That Your Doctor STILL Ignores. Dr. Vliet is the doctor I am going to see in August. I will not stop screaming to be heard. I will get on that airplane in complete blind faith that good WILL come from it. I will get on that airplane walking in faith and not by sight. My human sight sees what is in front of me. It hears the discouraging words from doctors, it feels the failed attempts of this hormone treatment and that hormone treatment. My faith sees something that my eyes cannot. My faith says Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, who was sent into the world. My faith cannot believe long enough or hard enough to be physically healed. I have all the faith I need when in my heart of hearts I can declare Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, who was sent into the world...despite my doubt I will take the next step in this journey and I believe that the next step is to board that airplane and fly to Tuscon. By doing this I am acting out my faith and showing trust that He is working it all out on my behalf and that pleases the Lord.
I encourage you to take that next step and not to wait until your human eyes can grasp what is ahead. 1 Cor. 5:7 says, "we will walk by faith and not by sight." Please pray that I will find answers and the doctor will know how to treat me. I also want to encourage you to obey even when human reason says it won't work. Since when does God do things in a reasonable manner?!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
I Want Wisdom!
My mom was incredibly wise. She just knew stuff...lots of stuff. She always had incredible insight into so many things. When I was a teenager I could go to her when I was having trouble and she always had something wise to say. Granted, I didn't always want to hear her tidbits of wisdom, but more times than not she was right. My mom had a rough go of it. She had a very colorful life. She lived through incredible odds and always came out on the other side much wiser. She never told me this for sure, but I would guess she asked God for wisdom (discernment and insight) as she endured her trials because she knew what she learned through them would benefit her and others she knew eventually. This past April I had to make the difficult decision to put my beloved horse to sleep. I had owned Sox for over twenty years and I knew in my gut his time had come. I still doubted though and was torn, after all, he seemed to be getting along okay. I desperately longed to be able to call Mom and ask her about it. You know, just to run it by her. She would have reassured me that I was doing the right thing and would have offered me something insightful. To my dad's credit he has stepped into Mom's place rather brilliantly since she has been gone.
James 1:5) If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:1-18 is under the tile of trials and tribulation. So how does verse five factor into passages about trials and tribulation? I will share with you what I learned from my study. Basically, testing and trials require special wisdom and insight to cope with them. When times get tough I am thrown for a loop. I lose my bearings and need God to set me straight. I need Him to direct me and get me on the right path and to help me see past the hurt. I need His wisdom to help me see good in rotten circumstances. During these times I need a wisdom that transcends my own understanding. Versebyversecommentary.com said this, "wisdom is biblical common sense. It knows how to use biblical knowledge and knows how to apply the Word to experience." Wisdom does not stop with learned knowledge of the Bible. A head knowledge is easy to acquire. How to apply what I know is the difficult part. True wisdom knows how to apply the Word of God to real life.
How do I get this prized "biblical wisdom?" I ask. I know, how wild is that?! James 1:5 assures me that God will give it to me generously and not call me stupid for not already knowing. Ask means to request or plead for. Seeking wisdom in our trials is an urgent matter. Why? Because I am a sitting duck to Satan lies especially during the hard times
Wisdom is not only gained by the study of the Bible, but also in prayer. If I listen God gives me tremendous insight during my prayer time. He desires to give me wisdom and share it with me when my soul is quiet before Him. He wants to share Himself with me. I have found this to certainly be the case during my Bible studies. He always gives me a great understanding of Scripture because I truly want it and ask Him for it. He makes me much smarter than I really am on my own! I believe the insight into why He has allowed me to suffer so over the last six years has been because I have asked Him to show me what I can learn from this and how I can mature in my faith. I don't tell you this to brag upon myself. Believe me I have learned all this the hard way!
I do not want to spend time demanding to know why He is allowing this pain or being down right mad at Him (though I have my times). I want to grow from this. My friend and I were working out together this morning talking about God, our personal struggles and victories and trying to encourage one another. We get rather deep at 9 am while I'm hauling it on the treadmill! I told Shanda that He has changed every part of me through this. He has left no stone unturned. I find it incredible that He cares enough about my smallest hangups to confront me with them. Having that attitude has made this whole fiasco much easier. Don't get me wrong, I don't always have that attitude, but that is my goal. With God's grace it is possible.
Along with strength, patience, and grace we must also ask God for wisdom when heading through a crisis. I do not want to suffer needlessly. I want my suffering to count for something and I need Godly wisdom to not miss an opportunity. I do not want any crisis to be wasted. I encourage you earnestly seek the Lord for wisdom as you go through hard times. He promises in James 1:5 to give it to you and He won't belittle you for not knowing already.
James 1:5) If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.
James 1:1-18 is under the tile of trials and tribulation. So how does verse five factor into passages about trials and tribulation? I will share with you what I learned from my study. Basically, testing and trials require special wisdom and insight to cope with them. When times get tough I am thrown for a loop. I lose my bearings and need God to set me straight. I need Him to direct me and get me on the right path and to help me see past the hurt. I need His wisdom to help me see good in rotten circumstances. During these times I need a wisdom that transcends my own understanding. Versebyversecommentary.com said this, "wisdom is biblical common sense. It knows how to use biblical knowledge and knows how to apply the Word to experience." Wisdom does not stop with learned knowledge of the Bible. A head knowledge is easy to acquire. How to apply what I know is the difficult part. True wisdom knows how to apply the Word of God to real life.
How do I get this prized "biblical wisdom?" I ask. I know, how wild is that?! James 1:5 assures me that God will give it to me generously and not call me stupid for not already knowing. Ask means to request or plead for. Seeking wisdom in our trials is an urgent matter. Why? Because I am a sitting duck to Satan lies especially during the hard times
Wisdom is not only gained by the study of the Bible, but also in prayer. If I listen God gives me tremendous insight during my prayer time. He desires to give me wisdom and share it with me when my soul is quiet before Him. He wants to share Himself with me. I have found this to certainly be the case during my Bible studies. He always gives me a great understanding of Scripture because I truly want it and ask Him for it. He makes me much smarter than I really am on my own! I believe the insight into why He has allowed me to suffer so over the last six years has been because I have asked Him to show me what I can learn from this and how I can mature in my faith. I don't tell you this to brag upon myself. Believe me I have learned all this the hard way!
I do not want to spend time demanding to know why He is allowing this pain or being down right mad at Him (though I have my times). I want to grow from this. My friend and I were working out together this morning talking about God, our personal struggles and victories and trying to encourage one another. We get rather deep at 9 am while I'm hauling it on the treadmill! I told Shanda that He has changed every part of me through this. He has left no stone unturned. I find it incredible that He cares enough about my smallest hangups to confront me with them. Having that attitude has made this whole fiasco much easier. Don't get me wrong, I don't always have that attitude, but that is my goal. With God's grace it is possible.
Along with strength, patience, and grace we must also ask God for wisdom when heading through a crisis. I do not want to suffer needlessly. I want my suffering to count for something and I need Godly wisdom to not miss an opportunity. I do not want any crisis to be wasted. I encourage you earnestly seek the Lord for wisdom as you go through hard times. He promises in James 1:5 to give it to you and He won't belittle you for not knowing already.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Perspective Matters
I have felt that God has laid the passages in 1 Peter in my heart the past few days. I have found significant encouragement from the words contained in it. Today's study just happened to be focused on verses from 1 Peter...how 'bout that?!
1 Peter 1:13) Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end from the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
In Biblical times the men wore long robes. If they were taking part in manual labor or running they would tuck the robe in their belt as to not trip. On a side note, I hope they wore something under their robes! So girding up your loins means to roll up your sleeves or pull it together and get serious about work. Girding up the loins of your mind means to get serious about where your mind is going. To be sober means to be calm, steady, and controlled. The revelation of Jesus Christ is a reference to His Second Coming.
In the commentary I use to study I found a great quote by the author, Warren Wiersbe. He says, "outlook determines outcome; attitude determines action." I like that and it's something I need to hear often. Just ask Dave, I can be the queen of a rotten attitude! He gets after me when the Lord tells him to! Do I have heavenly eyes on or earthly eyes? Heavenly eyes see beyond the present. They see beyond our current pain. The hope of eternal is not something that has brought much comfort to me in the past. I'm being honest with you and I have told God this same thing. I have wanted help in this area. Yeah, I get it, "these hard times won't last forever and heaven will be great." "What about now though? What about this pain I feel now? What about this health condition that seems to stick around? God! What about now?!"
1 Peter 1:13 is reminding us where the focus should be. Satan loves a scattered and wondering mind. I must keep my focus on what is important. The last 6-1/2 years have been tremendously difficult. God has blessed me with a new perspective. Different things are important to me now and honestly, I am an entirely different person. I am certain I was rather shallow prior to this "blessing" I have had for all these years! By allowing Him and our hard circumstances to change us in a positive way we are living with an eternal outlook. Remember the questions I posed in the previous paragraph? In essence, He is answering me by changing me. The challenge is to not spend so much time asking why and more time allowing the divinely-inspired change to occur.
Focusing on the present is the natural thing to do. Most of the time I am so caught up in my preset circumstance I can't even function. At times it has been all-consuming. Satan loves for me to be totally overwhelmed. When I am overwhelmed I miss out on God's wonderful lessons. When I do this my present circumstances are distracting me. I have lost my perspective. God is preparing me for heaven through His quiet lessons. I often pray for God's help to look past the problem because when I focus on the problem it becomes big and God small. During these times it is important to pull your mind together (gird up) and focus on greater things.
Expecting God's grace is for now and future. He always is willing to show us grace. Granted His grace can be different than what I think it should be, but nonetheless, His grace happens. The grace that occurs in this life is just in a different capacity. Here is a reminder of what grace is. It is a gift or reward we do not deserve. Something positive always happens out of trials for a child of God. So not only can a believer expect eternal reward, but also present rewards that come out of our faithfulness and His kindness. When my mind is sober I am able to see His gifts and reward in the midst of trials.
So in closing, I challenge you to keep your mind reined in especially if there is deep water all around you. Stay sober and vigilant to look for His gifts and rewards in the midst of your pain. By doing this you are gaining a new perspective and becoming heaven-minded. You are seeing there is more than what your earthy eyes can take in. The more we practice this the more we can share our eternal hope with others and the more we defeat Satan's schemes. So what about the pain I am experiencing now? It's still there and it's still painful, BUT I am using it for good. It is all about perspective, outlook, and attitude...and keeping that mind focused on things of heaven.
1 Peter 1:13) Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end from the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
In Biblical times the men wore long robes. If they were taking part in manual labor or running they would tuck the robe in their belt as to not trip. On a side note, I hope they wore something under their robes! So girding up your loins means to roll up your sleeves or pull it together and get serious about work. Girding up the loins of your mind means to get serious about where your mind is going. To be sober means to be calm, steady, and controlled. The revelation of Jesus Christ is a reference to His Second Coming.
In the commentary I use to study I found a great quote by the author, Warren Wiersbe. He says, "outlook determines outcome; attitude determines action." I like that and it's something I need to hear often. Just ask Dave, I can be the queen of a rotten attitude! He gets after me when the Lord tells him to! Do I have heavenly eyes on or earthly eyes? Heavenly eyes see beyond the present. They see beyond our current pain. The hope of eternal is not something that has brought much comfort to me in the past. I'm being honest with you and I have told God this same thing. I have wanted help in this area. Yeah, I get it, "these hard times won't last forever and heaven will be great." "What about now though? What about this pain I feel now? What about this health condition that seems to stick around? God! What about now?!"
1 Peter 1:13 is reminding us where the focus should be. Satan loves a scattered and wondering mind. I must keep my focus on what is important. The last 6-1/2 years have been tremendously difficult. God has blessed me with a new perspective. Different things are important to me now and honestly, I am an entirely different person. I am certain I was rather shallow prior to this "blessing" I have had for all these years! By allowing Him and our hard circumstances to change us in a positive way we are living with an eternal outlook. Remember the questions I posed in the previous paragraph? In essence, He is answering me by changing me. The challenge is to not spend so much time asking why and more time allowing the divinely-inspired change to occur.
Focusing on the present is the natural thing to do. Most of the time I am so caught up in my preset circumstance I can't even function. At times it has been all-consuming. Satan loves for me to be totally overwhelmed. When I am overwhelmed I miss out on God's wonderful lessons. When I do this my present circumstances are distracting me. I have lost my perspective. God is preparing me for heaven through His quiet lessons. I often pray for God's help to look past the problem because when I focus on the problem it becomes big and God small. During these times it is important to pull your mind together (gird up) and focus on greater things.
Expecting God's grace is for now and future. He always is willing to show us grace. Granted His grace can be different than what I think it should be, but nonetheless, His grace happens. The grace that occurs in this life is just in a different capacity. Here is a reminder of what grace is. It is a gift or reward we do not deserve. Something positive always happens out of trials for a child of God. So not only can a believer expect eternal reward, but also present rewards that come out of our faithfulness and His kindness. When my mind is sober I am able to see His gifts and reward in the midst of trials.
So in closing, I challenge you to keep your mind reined in especially if there is deep water all around you. Stay sober and vigilant to look for His gifts and rewards in the midst of your pain. By doing this you are gaining a new perspective and becoming heaven-minded. You are seeing there is more than what your earthy eyes can take in. The more we practice this the more we can share our eternal hope with others and the more we defeat Satan's schemes. So what about the pain I am experiencing now? It's still there and it's still painful, BUT I am using it for good. It is all about perspective, outlook, and attitude...and keeping that mind focused on things of heaven.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Sssshhhh, Can You Hear That?
My last blog entry took a turn from what I had planned. So here is the original entry. Enjoy and I pray you are blessed.
1 Kings 19:11-12) And He said, Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great strong wind rent the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire (a sound of gentle stillness and) a still, small voice.
This is absolutely one of my favorite Bible verses! It offers such visual power. The basic point of the verse is that God often speaks in the quietness. I think of the times when I am desperately seeking an answer from the Lord and how badly I want a loud answer. I want something loud and dramatic to happen so I can be sure it was the Lord I heard.
The hardest times in my life the Lord has quietly walked me though them and is still quietly walking me though them. I have found that Satan is much louder. Satan is noisy. His goal is to distract us from the Lord's quiet presence or gentle guidance. If Satan can be noisy enough we will miss the still, small voice of God. I think back and I can't even pin point what God did at certain times. He just was there guiding, comforting, strengthening in a quiet manner.
Generally speaking us humans love drama. Why are there so many T.V. shows following celebrities or why do news outlets only cover negative stories that have the wow factor? Our human nature craves drama. Because of this I think God should too communicate in a loud obvious manner. Have you ever been in a room of people and there is a loud person that demands all the attention than you notice the quiet person who is taking it all in? Often times it is that person who is the wisest and whom you can learn the most from. I like to think of God in that manner. He loves when we ask Him questions and quiet ourselves long enough to hear Him. He has all kinds of wisdom to share with us.
I believe God wants us to take time to quiet ourselves before Him. Life is so loud. I will not say that God is not able to break through the loudness to reach us...He is. He is able to do ANYTHING. In my own life I have found that He chooses not to reach me this way, but in the times I turn off life and study Him, talk to Him, and listen to Him. I encourage you to take time to look for the Lord in the small things. His blessings are everywhere. He is there waiting for us to listen for Him.
1 Kings 19:11-12) And He said, Go out and stand on the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great strong wind rent the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire (a sound of gentle stillness and) a still, small voice.
This is absolutely one of my favorite Bible verses! It offers such visual power. The basic point of the verse is that God often speaks in the quietness. I think of the times when I am desperately seeking an answer from the Lord and how badly I want a loud answer. I want something loud and dramatic to happen so I can be sure it was the Lord I heard.
The hardest times in my life the Lord has quietly walked me though them and is still quietly walking me though them. I have found that Satan is much louder. Satan is noisy. His goal is to distract us from the Lord's quiet presence or gentle guidance. If Satan can be noisy enough we will miss the still, small voice of God. I think back and I can't even pin point what God did at certain times. He just was there guiding, comforting, strengthening in a quiet manner.
Generally speaking us humans love drama. Why are there so many T.V. shows following celebrities or why do news outlets only cover negative stories that have the wow factor? Our human nature craves drama. Because of this I think God should too communicate in a loud obvious manner. Have you ever been in a room of people and there is a loud person that demands all the attention than you notice the quiet person who is taking it all in? Often times it is that person who is the wisest and whom you can learn the most from. I like to think of God in that manner. He loves when we ask Him questions and quiet ourselves long enough to hear Him. He has all kinds of wisdom to share with us.
I believe God wants us to take time to quiet ourselves before Him. Life is so loud. I will not say that God is not able to break through the loudness to reach us...He is. He is able to do ANYTHING. In my own life I have found that He chooses not to reach me this way, but in the times I turn off life and study Him, talk to Him, and listen to Him. I encourage you to take time to look for the Lord in the small things. His blessings are everywhere. He is there waiting for us to listen for Him.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Something Beautiful
I returned from my Ohio trip just last night. It was a trip that was greatly anticipated for many reasons. Of course the obvious is the fact that I am faced with the reality that my mom is no longer there. She isn't cooking in the kitchen or building log furniture in her shop in one of the barns. I miss her. She also isn't laying lifeless in her bed or so swollen you can't see her eyes. I'm glad for that. I have found that it is important to briefly visit the times of mourning because in those times I feel God's strength. I came across one of her wigs and it brought tears to my eyes. I mourned her death and cried. I didn't stay there long though. You wipe the tears, stand up and do the next thing.
I witnessed so many new starts during my visit to Ohio. I got to spend time with a reunited couple that were high school sweethearts separated for over 23 years. Though both of them have experienced tremendous pain in their lives God has allowed their paths to cross again. He has provided one for the other. He has restored two lives separately and allowed those lives to be intertwined into something beautiful.
My dad is quite amazing too. When he speaks of my mother he gets a lump in his throat and his voice often cracks. Despite the challenge of losing his life partner he is in the beginning stages of a new adventure. I see a man who has evolved into a more patient, compassionate person. I'm excited for Dad. If you know him you know what kind of man he is. I firmly believe God will take this season in his life and turn it into something unexpected and indescribable.
Whenever I am at home back in Ohio I get the urge to be a little girl again. Times were easier then. I spent my days eating ice cream, riding my pony Rosie, and riding along with my mom as she ran hay wagons during baling season. I also had fantastic teenage years. Maybe it would be great to be back to the time of taking my horse Sox to Tuesday night 4-H meetings and stopping for ice cream on the way home at Johnson's ice cream shop? At any rate those were great times. Instead of doing those things I watched Eli play with all his little cousins and ride in the tractor with Grandpa Dan. Talk about new starts...Eli is so little and innocent. I witnessed six small children all play together. Eli is the oldest at five! Each of those children have their whole life ahead of them. Eli, Drew, Meredith, Jacob, Leah, and Grant all have many new starts ahead of them.
Then on the way to the airport I met my BFF, Jessica, at Friendly's to catch up a bit before my flight. She and her husband recently adopted a new born baby girl in February. Her name is Gabby and she is about the cutest thing I have ever seen. Even though Jessy and Derek have three kids of their own they are embarking on a new journey with their new baby girl. What an adventure the Tye household is!
As I sat on the plane doing my Bible study my mind couldn't help but think to my own life. As I prayed I kept hearing the words "its coming." I was praying over my health condition and for wisdom on how to handle it and what our next step should be. I have prayed over the situation for more hours than I can count. I have been utterly frustrated and discouraged at times...really to the point of sobs. Despite the despair I have felt there is a burning inside me to not quit, to keep praying, to keep pounding the gates of heaven. There is something in me that won't quit. When I thought more about the words I kept hearing it began to make sense. My new start is coming...
Wow. Guess what?! That was not my originally intended blog entry for today. Sometimes my fingers just type I guess. I can't take credit for any of this because I really didn't put all this together until now. How 'bout that?! Actually I just thought of how this relates to what my original topic was. Let me explain. The verse below is the actual verse from my Bible study I was going to blog on.
1 Kings 19:11-12) The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
I absolutely love this verse! My family room in our basement is quiet now. It's just me and God. I would love if He would tell me things in really loud obvious ways and on occasion He does, but not usually. Usually it is a subtle reminder, a soft nudge, or like the verse says, a gentle whisper. I believe the Lord put something rather powerful on my heart as I typed. He literally took over my fingers. Why? Maybe because someone out there needed reminded that He will always give us a new start and make something beautiful out of something ugly...or maybe He wanted me to remember that. I don't know the reason for this blog. What I do know is that He gently whispered the context of this blog onto my heart and guided my fingers as I typed.
I witnessed so many new starts during my visit to Ohio. I got to spend time with a reunited couple that were high school sweethearts separated for over 23 years. Though both of them have experienced tremendous pain in their lives God has allowed their paths to cross again. He has provided one for the other. He has restored two lives separately and allowed those lives to be intertwined into something beautiful.
My dad is quite amazing too. When he speaks of my mother he gets a lump in his throat and his voice often cracks. Despite the challenge of losing his life partner he is in the beginning stages of a new adventure. I see a man who has evolved into a more patient, compassionate person. I'm excited for Dad. If you know him you know what kind of man he is. I firmly believe God will take this season in his life and turn it into something unexpected and indescribable.
Whenever I am at home back in Ohio I get the urge to be a little girl again. Times were easier then. I spent my days eating ice cream, riding my pony Rosie, and riding along with my mom as she ran hay wagons during baling season. I also had fantastic teenage years. Maybe it would be great to be back to the time of taking my horse Sox to Tuesday night 4-H meetings and stopping for ice cream on the way home at Johnson's ice cream shop? At any rate those were great times. Instead of doing those things I watched Eli play with all his little cousins and ride in the tractor with Grandpa Dan. Talk about new starts...Eli is so little and innocent. I witnessed six small children all play together. Eli is the oldest at five! Each of those children have their whole life ahead of them. Eli, Drew, Meredith, Jacob, Leah, and Grant all have many new starts ahead of them.
Then on the way to the airport I met my BFF, Jessica, at Friendly's to catch up a bit before my flight. She and her husband recently adopted a new born baby girl in February. Her name is Gabby and she is about the cutest thing I have ever seen. Even though Jessy and Derek have three kids of their own they are embarking on a new journey with their new baby girl. What an adventure the Tye household is!
As I sat on the plane doing my Bible study my mind couldn't help but think to my own life. As I prayed I kept hearing the words "its coming." I was praying over my health condition and for wisdom on how to handle it and what our next step should be. I have prayed over the situation for more hours than I can count. I have been utterly frustrated and discouraged at times...really to the point of sobs. Despite the despair I have felt there is a burning inside me to not quit, to keep praying, to keep pounding the gates of heaven. There is something in me that won't quit. When I thought more about the words I kept hearing it began to make sense. My new start is coming...
Wow. Guess what?! That was not my originally intended blog entry for today. Sometimes my fingers just type I guess. I can't take credit for any of this because I really didn't put all this together until now. How 'bout that?! Actually I just thought of how this relates to what my original topic was. Let me explain. The verse below is the actual verse from my Bible study I was going to blog on.
1 Kings 19:11-12) The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.
I absolutely love this verse! My family room in our basement is quiet now. It's just me and God. I would love if He would tell me things in really loud obvious ways and on occasion He does, but not usually. Usually it is a subtle reminder, a soft nudge, or like the verse says, a gentle whisper. I believe the Lord put something rather powerful on my heart as I typed. He literally took over my fingers. Why? Maybe because someone out there needed reminded that He will always give us a new start and make something beautiful out of something ugly...or maybe He wanted me to remember that. I don't know the reason for this blog. What I do know is that He gently whispered the context of this blog onto my heart and guided my fingers as I typed.
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