I got my love of horses from my mom. She got her first horse when she was about 14 years old. The mare was named Sandy and a picture of Sandy still hangs in my dad's house. I have been riding horses since before I could walk. My first show was at age two. If I ever come across that picture I'll have to post it. It's pretty sweet! The class was lead line and my handler was Christy. The pony was a tiny paint Shetland named Lollipop. I wore hot pink pants, a striped shirt and a GIANT hunt cap!
My days as a kid were filled with stall cleaning, barn chores, and horseback riding. Spring time brought foals, shedding horses, and cramming for Youth Show as we didn't have access to an indoor arena. Summer was horse show time! My mom and I loved going to horse shows together. We schooled through out the week and she set jumps for me about each and every day. Fall brought showing to an end, but the excitement of Congress was palpable. I showed at Congress twice and even came home with the "coveted C.R. Morrison" bronze trophy once. My memories of winter on the farm are of breaking the ice out of water troughs, trying to finagle intact hay bales from my dad, and layering on clothes before heading out to strip stalls. My mother always demanded that the horses were fed before we were in the mornings. She could not stomach the thought of a horse standing out in cold, wet weather. Sox was notorious for standing out in the worst weather even though he had access to a bedded shed. I clearly remember one time getting up in the middle of the night to bring that stinker in the barn.
Congress. Ah, Congress. That was me and mom's thing. My Congress attendance record ran from 1979 to 2009. That's quite a run! You may wonder what brought it to an end. Cancer. Cancer brought it to an end. My mom became terminally ill in March of 2008. Eli had just turned a year old. She got a horrible diagnosis. If you ever wonder what you would do if you heard your doctor say, "you have terminal cancer...WITH treatment you will live three to six months...and it is inoperable." My mother heard those words in 2008. Congress rolled around that fall. Odd it didn't stop despite our agony.
You must understand what Congress meant to me and Mom. When I was in school my mom always took me out for a week during Congress. It was truly the best time of the year. My friend Jamie and I ran around those fairgrounds solid for a week and then again on weekends! She and I used to run around the top of the Coliseum, eat nachos and pie (anyone remember the pie stand in the Coliseum?!), and watch the Open Versatility class. Forget sugar plums, we had silver saddles dancing in our heads. As I got older the tradition for my mom and I continued. As late as 2006 we would camp at the fairgrounds for about 10 days and we'd always time it for when all our favorite classes were held. She and I watched hours upon hours of pleasure horses loping around the Celeste Center. We would critique lopes and outfits. We watched Hope By Invitation win junior pleasure one year. We also saw Britney Pine lope bridle-less to the center to receive her trophy. There were the days of Held Captive, A Good Machine, Blazing Hot, Vested Faith...and the duals between Majestic Scotch and Vital Signs Are Good. We saw One Hot Krymsun win the Maturity. Another favorite was the Hunter Classic. We also saw fashions come and go. Any one remember the bright yellow craze or the solid white one? I still don't understand the dark green hunt coat craze. We saw the evolution of the western pleasure horse...from a free flowing ranch type mover to the peanut pusher fad of the early 90's. Coming from the actual hunter world my mother could never, ever understand the AQHA Hunter Under Saddle horse.
In 2007 I had Eli and our time at Congress significantly shortened. I think Mom struggled with this somewhat. Somewhere I have a picture of a teeny tiny baby Eli being held on a gorgeous Harris show saddle. We still managed to make Congress happen though. In 2008 she was critically ill and couldn't manage to have the camper at the fairgrounds. Christy and I booked a hotel suite for the three of us that year. It was awful. We drug her out to watch the Hunter Classic with our dear friend Lisa like we had watched years prior. The poor woman was so exhausted from chemo. she could no longer walk around and shop and look at puppies. The pain in Christy's and my heart almost took our breath away at times during that long weekend. The following year she didn't make it at all. I went one day with a friend and it was so sad. It felt empty. In 2010 Dave and I knew we were moving to Georgia in a few weeks and I knew my mom was barely surviving so no one dared to breath the word "Congress." I didn't attend. Everything had changed and I had to stay as far away from it as I could.
Mom passed away the following February. Dave and I lived twelve hours away and the thought of showing my horse or going to Congress was too much to bear. You see my mom and I had a mutual dream...of Jessie showing at Congress. She was good enough, easily good enough. My life didn't allow that to happen though. Jess and I earned lots of points over the years, but Congress was something different. I am the type that if I don't feel 1,000% prepared for something I won't do it. I'm safe I guess. I'm learning to be a little different. I never felt like Jess and I were prepared for that level of competition. If I didn't think we could place I wasn't going to show there. I had too much respect for the show and all it encompasses.
The years passed, the fall seasons came and went. Each October brought the same pain deep within my chest. The leaves were changing, the Congress was approaching, and my mom was gone. My partner in horse show crime was gone. So gone. The missing can be unbearable at times. Dave and I recently moved back to Ohio. In the months approaching our move the thought of Congress kept coming into my mind. Maybe I was ready to go back. Maybe I could even began to fathom driving underneath the archway. Maybe I could walk through the Gilligan snatching candy out of bowls and strangely enjoying the smell of ammonia. I was softening towards the idea. I know so many people that show there. My friend Jeana told me I should come up. I could stop by my trainer's barn to say "hi." I wouldn't be alone yet I would be.
In early July I saw a post that interested me. The trainer that I showed with for years posted that a client of hers needed a horse to show. The girl was a small fry so she needed something quiet. Her horse had gotten sick and was recovering. Jessie would be perfect I thought. The last year I had been riding her very regularly and always rode her like a show horse. Her spur stops were sharp, her showmanship pivots were top notch and her hocks had just been injected. I contacted Missy and within a week Jessie was being picked up by the little girl's mom. I got word that Jessie arrived safely and was settling in well. Missy rode her the next day and she was spot on.
Jessie attended her first show in four years about 10 days later. Bella and Jessie were complete rock stars. I couldn't stay away...I had to go watch. I drove to the show without telling anyone. I didn't want them to feel like I was hover mom and didn't want to add any pressure. I silently sat in the stands awaiting Jessie's class. The missing overwhelmed me. I missed my mom sitting next to me. I saw Jessie and Bella enter the practice pen and my pulse increased. I thought to myself, "Jessie behave yourself...just do what you know how to do." She did! They were amazing! They ended up winning and pulled off two seconds in their very first class! I ended up spending the whole day at the show with Jennifer, Bella's mom. I love her. I don't think she knows what a presence she was for me. Just having someone there to be with made such a difference to me when my missing was so intense. Miss Bella and Jessie ended up being circuit champions in Western Pleasure and Trail and they were Reserve All-Around small fry!
As I putzed around the show something in my heart ignited. It was a familiar feeling. Could that be my love for horse showing returning? I haven't felt these feelings in so many years. Maybe I could go to Congress after all. Maybe I could show Jessie again. Agh! What was going on in my heart and brain?! Was it possible that showing again was part of my healing process?!
After the incredible success attained by Bella and Jessie her parents and trainer decided they were competitive enough to make a run at a Congress medallion. They decided to keep Jessie and show her at Congress. I was so excited to hear the news and assured Jennifer I would be totally fine with them keeping the mare until October. Seriously, five weeks ago Jessie was my gorgeous pasture pet who still could bring it when I rode her and now she's being prepped for the remaining OQHA shows and Congress. She was shipped from Georgia June 1st. Had Bella needed a horse before this Jessie wouldn't have been able to fill this role. Had I not kept her in "show shape" she wouldn't have been prepared to be a show horse again so quickly.
This brings up a very interesting predicament. I can't not go to Congress this year. I can't not go and watch Bella and Jessie. I think God is freeing me up to go and enjoy that part of my life again. I can't stay away this year. I believe God orchestrated this entire thing down to every last detail. To top it off I have learned so much from watching little, sweet Bella ride my horse. Bella trusts the mare and the mare knows it. Bella doesn't pick at her face trying to get her "just right." Bella goes in that pen, sits tall, smiles, uses her legs, and guides the horse around. She has given Jessie incredible confidence and I suspect Jessie has done the same for Bella.
I would never guessed in a million years that my first year back at Congress would have me watching my beloved Jessie. I believe God is telling me to go back, to go back and revisit some of the most beloved times of my life. I can hear my mom's voice being excited that Jessie is being taken to Congress. I can see her smile and I can relive that very day in late March, 2000 when, at a breeding farm, my mom pointed out a cute little sorrel filly with lots of chrome. I believe God is using a horse and a horse show to help me heal even more. He is using that same horse and that same horse show as an ointment to a wound in my heart.
declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Romans 8:28) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
