My desire is that my simple thoughts will speak to your spirit and be helpful in some unique way.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

We All Can Encourage

Romans 12:6-8) We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith;  if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach;  if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

I don't know exactly how spiritual gifts work, but I do know that they are truly a gift from God.  Romans 12:6 says they are.  He graces us with His character which manifests in spiritual gifts.  Like I said I don't know all there is to know about spiritual gifts, but I do think can people have multiple gifts.  I believe we are born with the ability to practice these gifts, but because of the Fall in Eden we are selfish by nature.  When we are born again in the Spirit He takes over and controls those gifts and perfects them in us.  Gifts may arise that we never knew were there due to our relationship with Jesus Christ deepening.  I know that has been true in my own life. 

No one gets through this life unscathed.  John 16:33 promises we will have trouble in this world.  I told my friend yesterday that the trials in life can do one of two things to us.  On one hand the trials can make us angry, bitter, foolish, and selfish.  On the other hand the trials can make us brave, courageous, bold, and passionate, and selfless.  One choice can paralyze us and render us ineffective for Christ.  The other choice can put us in a position to refine our gifts and to use them to further God's Kingdom.  The choice is ours.  In my life I had no idea what my gifts were until I faced some really hard times. 

I want to focus on the gift of encouragement right now.  I think it is interesting that the Greek translation for the word encourage (exhort) is paracletos (paraclete) which means to call to one's side.  I like that.  Other definitions of encourage are:  to inspire with courage, to stimulate by assistance, build up confidence, or promote.  I will tell you about my dear friend at the beginning of this entry.  She is just straight up encouraging.  It appears to come so easily to her.  I hope I have helped her realize God created this ability in her.  She is a vessel for His encouragement.  Jesus encouraged when He walked this earth and we are called to encourage one another.  I will also talk about my dad.  He encourages those around him with his wisdom on life.

I said earlier that our life circumstances and trials can either build up our gifts or minimize them.  I can think of some people in my life that have used their trials to encourage others.  My Dad is  perfect example of this.  Encouragement can happen in different ways.  My dad encouraged me as we journeyed along the path of Mom's decline from cancer.  At the time I didn't realize how his encouragement was working.  It wasn't obvious, but is now.

1.  My dad, Dan.  I have gotten to know my dad much more over the last five years.  I was always a daddy's girl and very close to my dad, but my mom was the more dominant personality in my life.  It wasn't until my mom was diagnosed with cancer that I really, really got to know my dad as an adult.  She was always the social director of the family.  She mostly planned what went on.  My dad was more the silent force.  Anyone that knows him knows he is a man of few words, but his few words are very meaningful and purposeful.  My mom's mental capabilities were GREATLY affected by the two large tumors in her head.  She could no longer handle the roles she used to carry.  Dad took over like any real man would do.  He was her liaison.  Mom also became very introverted the longer her disease progressed.  For any of you that know her you know she is not naturally an introvert!  Dad simply handled not only his affairs, but now hers also.  He helped plan holiday get-togethers and family camping trips and outings.  When I would go to visit them Mom would sleep most of the time so Dad and I just had more time together to banter about life and to contemplate my relationship with Mom that at times was very troubled.  We just had more time together because I was no longer going shopping with mom or going to horse shows.  We would just sit, watch Eli run around, and chat.

As hard as it was for Christy and I to watch Mom slowly die he watched his life mate truly lose her mind.  I don't use that term lightly.  The cancer slowly destroyed her mind.  Mom would often act irrationally and say hurtful things and Dad always reminded me that it was the cancer.  He encouraged me to be patient.  Personality wise she was no longer the woman I had known for 31 years.  He encouraged me (and Christy) to give her the benefit of the doubt and to remember the battle that was going on physically in her body.  This encouragement was incredible.  I mentioned earlier that Mom and I had our share of conflict in our relationship especially the last seven years of her life.  I remember I had flown home quickly in January after getting word that Mom had a bad seizure and was in the hospital.  Dad had been told there was no longer anything the doctors could do for Mom.  He was sent home with medication for her to "keep her comfortable."  I remember Dad and I sitting and talking one night.  He said, "Anna, if there is anything you need to deal with before your mom dies you need to do that."  No one knew how long she had left, but Dad's gut said it wasn't long and his wisdom knew once she was gone the dynamic for dealing with issues would be different.  I had many things on my heart that I wanted to talk to Mom about, but I knew her mental capacity would not allow us to really dig into some tough issues.  I simply had to forgive her for hurts...bottom line and end of story.  I had to let it all go.  I can never thank him enough for encouraging me to do this.  He has also encouraged me to remember the mom I knew before cancer ravaged her body.  I love him for this.

True encouragement is not saying what someone wants to hear, but also saying what they need to hear.  His encouragement came in practical ways.  It came at a time when we were all struggling to handle a horrid situation.  He wasn't encouraging me to do the easy things, but the RIGHT things.  I believe Biblical encouragement involves building someone up in Christ.  It is encouraging them to reach beyond themselves and match their actions with Christ's actions.  It is building up their confidence to be more than they thought they could be or to help hold on to hope when they are out of strength.

I have a dear friend that is extraordinary at encouragement.  Through some very difficult times she has been one of my biggest cheerleaders behind my husband, dad, and sister.  The best part about her is that you know she is being sincere.  She's not just saying things she thinks you want to hear...she means what she says.  She truly has brought me out of rotten moods.  Dave is my biggest fan, but he can't fill every role to me.  Sometimes a girl needs another girl, ya know?! 

I'll shortly explain how she encourages me in ways completely different than my dad did in the case of losing my mom.  I see her basically every day because we are both gym rats.  She is one of those people that when she asks how you are doing she really wants to know.  I know!  How crazy is that?!  She encourages me daily to be honest with her about how I'm feeling so we can deal with it...together.  She also knows when I'm not being honest!  As you know I have some serious hormone issues (that are improving by the way!) which can wreak havoc on essentially every aspect of my life.  I know I'm safe to tell her the truth.  She always calls me to her side so we can bear the burden together.  When I feel emotional she helps talk through the situation in practical terms.  She is such a positive influence on my life.  She truly has a special gift from the Lord.

Stay tuned for the next entry to read more about how people I know are following Jesus' example and are practicing the gift of encouragement.  My goal is at the end you will see how all of us can reach out to another soul and offer a helping hand, a kind word, and inspiration to become more than we thought we could be.  No matter our trial or our walk of life we can help carry another's burden.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

It Really Isn't Too Hard!

The study guide that I have worked though the last 3-1/2 months has been outstanding.  If you have not read Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer I highly recommend it.  I read it a few years ago, but think one could/should read it once a year.  The companion guide is also outstanding!

Deuteronomy 30:11)  His commandments (obeying) are not too difficult.  It is withing my reach.

"Dear God, it's me Anna.  I would like to ask for unending blessings today.  If something difficult does come up please remove the trial immediately so I will not be inconvenienced in the least bit.  Oh and about this other thing that I'm dealing with that I don't like...can you please take it way like yesterday?  Everyone else has it waaaaay easier than I do.  I've pretty much learned everything there is to learn from this.  It's just really hard to do the right thing and turn my pain into positivity so please make it all easy.  In Jesus' Name, Amen."

Okay, maybe I have never said those exact words in a prayer before, but I have wanted to.  I have thought them and prayed them in a roundabout sort of way.  I for sure would prefer an easy path.  Sometimes it all seems so difficult.  Here is HUGE lie that Satan places before me.  I think I have it the hardest and everyone else has it much, much easier than I.  Why is everything so hard for me I ask Him.  Following and obeying God is hard.  Anything worth anything IS hard.  I have been guilty at declaring spiritual warfare when times are tough or God's promises are delayed.  The Bible says spiritual warfare is real.  Read Ephesians!  God also shuts doors in front of us.  This is true.  In my frustration I have cried "spiritual warfare"  and have been certain God has told me no.  Well you know what?  Life is hard.  Followers of Christ lose jobs, get cancer, have health problems, lose children, get the short end of the stick, get lied about, abused, killed, martyred, etc.  The list is endless (and scary).  While we know the battle between good and evil is raging in the unseen, God does allow His children to endure hardships in this life.

John 16:33)  I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!

Here is the same verse from the Amplified Bible.  It's great!

John 16:33)  I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

Dave works for Procter and Gamble as most of you know.  As an outsider I get a kick out of hearing all their acronyms and types of words they use and how.  Part of Dave's job involves reviewing the job performance of others.  He makes their "opportunities" known to them so they can grow in their job and become a better part of the P&G team.  An opportunity in an area that needs work.  I have many opportunities!  Using this words sets a positive tone.  Going through hardships gives us opportunity for growth and John 16:33 promises we can take heart because has overcome evil.  It usually doesn't seem like it especially when we are in the deep, dark woods.

Back to my original point about living an obedient life.  It is hard.  So how does this play into recognizing our opportunities?  The first verse I listed out is from Deuteronomy.  I am reminded how relevant the Old Testament really is.  This verse is assuring us that obedience is possible.  It is possible to take our pain, frustration, depression, discouragement, etc. and let God shape it into something that brings glory to God and furthers His Kingdom.  He desires us to count it joy that we have hardships.  Looking for the opportunity in our pain is Biblical and Deuteronomy 30:11 says it is possible.  Genesis 50:20 is one of my favorite verses.  Joseph's story has inspired me greatly time and time again.  God can take painful circumstances and turn them into something beautiful.

Genesis 50:20)  You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.

I enjoy reading work by Pastor Adrian Rogers.  He uses the term "navel gazing."  It means to look down at our navel while we are going through hard times.  We ask why me, why now, when will this be over for me, everyone has it better than I do, what did I do to cause this, why doesn't God love me, etc.  I am challenged to take my eyes off my own navel and look outward.  How can I obey God in the midst of this?  Who opportunities does God have for me that I can pass on to others?  How can I really burn Satan by glorifying the Lord through this? While praying for spiritual protection is Biblical and important let's not always assume every hardship is warfare.  God may be allowing it to do a greater work in me and in turn whose lives cross my path.

Romans 5:3-5)  Moreover [let us also be full of joy now!] let us exult and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance.  And endurance (fortitude) develops maturity of character (approved faith and tried integrity). And character [of this sort] produces [the habit of] joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation.  Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.

Monday, September 17, 2012

All in a Day's Run

Romans 8:6-9)  The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.  The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so.  Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.  You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.

I am on Day 86 of my Joyce Meyer devotional book.  It's been great and I only have 14 days left.  I wonder what God will lead me?  Joyce says that walking in the Spirit is going with God's flow.  We have all heard the saying "go with the flow."  She stresses we must go with God's flow.  I like that idea.  Going with His flow is walking in the Spirit which means we are thinking and acting in a manner that is pleasing to God, trusting Him for each step.  One way I can easily evaluate where I am at with this is to look truthfully at my thought life. 

Am I choosing to think the best of people?  Even politicians whom I adamantly disagree with for example?  Am I choosing optimistic thoughts in regards to myself and my own struggles?  Even as I write this I realize I have some work to do (especially on the second one!:-)).

I can think of a time recently when I actually did have the mind of Christ and going with God's flow.  It isn't something that comes natural because we are human.  It is something we must fight to have!  It was this past Saturday actually.  Those of you who know me know that I am an avid runner and have been for many years.  I am guilty of overdoing it in a big way at times.  People often ask if I'm training for something.  When I say no they look at me strangely!  A few of my symptoms from my hormonal imbalances have become even more problematic over the last year or so.  They have made running and exercise extremely difficult.  These two things have been a huge part of my life so it's quite upsetting when I can't do the things I used to be able to do.  What was once easy has become very, very hard.

Saturday I woke up and had a thought.  I would face a once-easy running workout head on.  I looked at my old running logs on MapMyRun on my Iphone and became angry.  I could not believe the times I had been logging previously and now can't.  Being my extremely determined self I decided I was going to do a similar workout and give it all I had.  It was very early in the morning so I left Dave a note that I would be back later.

This was without a doubt THEE hardest run of my entire life.  My lungs felt like they were bleeding and every muscle in my body screamed for me to stop.  They obviously don't know me!  I refused to allow myself to stop.  I ran with no headphones and only concerned myself with the voice on my app telling me my mileage and pace.  I got angry at this run.  All I heard was my breathing, the pounding of my feet, and the voice.

As I pushed on I became overwhelmed with emotion.  It wasn't the fact that a run I have done 1,000 times was unbearably hard or the anger over the medical mistreatment I have received.  It was not frustration at God or the resentment at a body that just doesn't work right, it was an overwhelming thankfulness to my God for allowing me to go through what I have for the last six plus years.  I am so incredibly grateful for Him allowing each tear and sorrow.  He loved me enough to not leave me like I was...a spoiled, immature Christian.  I am so thankful He has taught me huge, big lessons and small, seemingly unimportant lessons.  I appreciate so much more now.  I see life as more than selfish ambition.

All of this flooded every inch of me as my feet pounded the pavement.  Running has meant different thing to me at different times in my life.  It has meant a way to fit into my favorite pair of Lucky jeans.  It has enabled me to eat a second scoop of ice cream or to relieve stress.  It has been a social outlet with my friends and I.  It has meant challenging myself physically in ways I never thought possible.  This day it was to give glory to God. 

Over the last nine months to a year I have not been able to sing in church.  It is like I have no emotion, nothing left.  After my mom passed away I cried during worship at church.  Like clock work the music would start and my tears flowed.  More recently it has felt like I have been out of tears.  Funny thing, when I run I need my praise and worship music (or my BFF Kristin to talk to).  When I run my soul can worship through the music.  Exerting myself with a nice, hard run strips me of me.  It makes my insides raw and releases something powerful within me.  I remember a run in particular.  My mom was on her deathbed and I had a flight scheduled for about noon back to Ohio.  I had nervous energy and time to kill so I went running on the treadmill at the gym.  I ran 12 miles on a treadmill...isn't that the craziest thing?!  I immediately drove to the airport and boarded a plane.  When Eli and I arrived at our destination I could hardly stand up because my muscles were so tight and sore!  That still makes me laugh!

So back to my run yesterday...as I finished "the hardest run known to mankind" God whispered another thought to me.  He has allowed me to be torn down over the last six years.  I truly am a different person now.  I feel like I was stripped of everything I thought was important.  I am not being rebuilt though.  He is not rebuilding the same person I was.  He is rebuilding a new Anna.  My appointment with Dr. Vliet set the tone for a newness.  God used her to began a new plan for me.  He is building me into the woman He designed me to be before I was even a glimmer in my father's eye.

If I had shied away from facing this challenge head on I would not have been blessed with this divine experience.  I fully understood after my run finished that I had the mind of Christ and I was going with His flow during this hour because of this I did I experienced tremendous closeness with my heavenly Father.  God lifted me towards heaven.  Had I had a fleshly mind at this time I would have been mad as a hornet (been there done that too many times to count) during and after my run.  My mood would have been just plain foul.  I would have dwelt on all the reasons this run stunk.  What I used to be able to do and now can't.  I would have wanted to find the doctors that messed me up and smack the crap out of them.  No!  Instead I had an appointment with God, up close and personal.

In closing we must continue to fight the battle against our flesh.  It robs us of joy, a joy that is sustainable during difficult times.  I am not better than you...I am not holier.  I struggle with all the same things.  What I learned during  this workout was that there is a stark contrast between the mind of Christ and that of the flesh (human nature).  I literally experienced it.  After I realized how thankful I was for the misery I've experienced I said this to myself as I ran, "whoa Anna...that was NOT you!"  I laughed to  myself!  The mind of the flesh mentioned in the opening verses refers to our human sense and reason without the Holy Spirit.  These are those carnal thoughts and purposes.  Walking in the Spirit is allowing the Spirit to lead us solely.  We are to think and act in a Godly manner.  As hard as it is it is possible to retrain our minds to think differently.  We just have to stay on top of the war that rages for our minds.


Monday, September 10, 2012

The Gift

Hi everyone!  I apologize for the time in between blog entries.  The topic for today's entry has been brewing for about a week now. 

Dave and I had a big Labor Day weekend.  We traveled to Tucson Arizona to see a new doctor.  I had mentioned it in a previous blog.  The appointment had been scheduled since July 5th so we had been anticipating the trip for nearly two months.  During those two months I literally felt like I had a war going on inside me.  The Bible is clear on spiritual warfare and the existence of it.  Ephesians 6 is the chapter that dives into the whole concept of the war that is being waged against us believers.  I felt like I had a devil on one shoulder saying, "this appointment will be a waste.  You are spending all this money and for what?  NOTHING.  The doctor won't be helpful and will send you away with no hope."  The angel on my other shoulder assured me this was going to be good.  No,  not just good...incredible.  The angel was puffed up with so much hope.  The devil was slumped over defeated.  I stuck close to God during this time.  If you read my last entry you know where my happy place is and believe me, I spent a great deal of time bowed before His throne just wanting to be near Him.

We left Thursday at 4 a.m. for the airport in Atlanta.  Actually I had been awake since 1:45 a.m. because I couldn't sleep.  I felt so many emotions.  I felt excited, nervous, hopeful, terrified...the list goes on.  Dr. Vliet uses the term "petrified excitement" in one of her books and that is exactly how I felt.  We had a direct flight into Phoenix as to not risk any delays on connecting flights.  We arrived on time into Phoenix and then headed for Tucson.  On a side note, the desert is completely weird.  Neither of us had been there before and were fascinated with all the "brown-ness."  I do think cacti are just the most interesting things!  We had time to takes showers and rest a bit before heading to my appointment. 

When I head Dr. Vliet's voice coming from her office I immediately felt a sense of calmness.  She had done a series of radio shows on the topic of hormonal imbalances a few years back.  I came across them in June and listened to them all.  Actually, I listened to some more than once and even more than five times.  In each one she was talking about me.  They gave me such hope.  So hearing this radio voice gave me a sense of belonging.  She also had a beautiful picture hanging on the wall of the waiting area.  It was a piece of calligraphy art.  It spoke to my soul.  Dave took notice of the book sitting on the table that she authored years back.  The title?  It's My Ovaries, Stupid!  Back to the art.  I bet your curious as to what it said, huh?!  Well, read below!

Hebrews 13:2)  Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

Before it was my appointment time Dr. Vliet came out and introduced herself.  I had included practically a book of information for her and she thanked me for sending it.  I had also included a personal letter and in it I shared how Romans 8:28 was my peace.  If your not familiar with that verse you can read it below.  I felt such peace when I knew she took the time to read my information and that she clings to Romans 8:28 personally too.  She said it was her favorite Bible verse too and she had a version of calligraphy art at home with that verse written out.  Dave looked at me and simply smiled.

Romans 8:28)  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose

It was our time to meet with Dr. Vliet.  My hands were sweating and I could feel my heart speed up.  Why was I so nervous for this appointment you might ask.  The main reasons follow:  1. we traveled across the entire country to see her, 2. I have not had good experiences with doctors, and 3. I so desperately wanted help (and hope).  I won't go into all the details, but I will say this.  It was an absolutely INCREDIBLE experience.  Actually there are not enough adjectives to describe the appointment and Dr. Vliet.  She and I were kindred spirits and there was truly a bond formed in the midst of the appointment.  I knew I would be asked to start at square one.  You know, start from the beginning.  I dreaded this because it is just painful and I have done it with many doctors to no avail.  It felt different when Dr. Vliet asked because I could sense her spirit.  I could see if her eyes she truly cared about my words and listened.  She wrote a book that I read titled, Screaming to be Heard:  Hormone Connections Women Suspect and Doctors Still Ignore.  I have screamed to be heard for years and now someone is hearing me...and cares.  She talked to Dave and I for nearly 3-1/2 hours.  I was not forced to share eight years of information in a seven minute block of time. 

I told my friends I feel like the Titanic is beginning to turn another direction.  Dr. Vliet did not have a magical quick-fix, but what she did offer was solid and sound knowledge that was backed by years of experience and by dependable studies on hormone care.  She (and her staff) quickly became family.  At the end of the appointment I gave her the biggest hug ever.  Dave and I went to dinner afterwards and talked about all the helpful things Dr. Vliet said.  I think we were both overwhelmed with information and needed time for it to soak in.  I was so glad Dave was there with me.  My journey has affected him greatly and in ways that are personal just to him.

So how does the title of my blog entry come into play?  God simply gave us a gift.  Satan was quick to try and spoil it though.  What if she's wrong?  What if Dr. Vliet still can't help you?  What if this appointment wouldn't have turned out good?  If your faith was sooooooo great than you would be happy regardless?  What if God hadn't done with for you?  For a few minutes I started to ponder those points.  Well, what if He hadn't allowed this appointment to exceed my expectations?  Then it hit me...this was a gift pure and simple.  I don't know why God allowed it to go so well (beyond well).  Why does He allow me to get Christmas gifts?  Why did He provide such an amazing husband for me?  A healthy child?  My salvation?  God taught me something rather quickly as I was thinking about these things.  He told me He gave me a gift.  I didn't deserve it just like I don't deserve His salvation.  He also shared with me that He has some B-I-G plans for me in regards to this appointment and my relationship with Dr. Vliet.  He told me to just say "thank You."  As I began the healing process I have decided that my actions speak louder than my words.  While God wants our mouths to say "thank you" He also wants our actions to say it as well.  So stay tuned...the journey continues.

Ephesians 3:20)  Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Psalm 30:11-12)  You turned my wailing into dancing;  you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent.  Lord my God, I will praise you forever.

Monday, August 20, 2012

My Place

Matthew 6:31)  Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat?  Or, What are we going to have to drink?  Or, What are we going to have to wear?

Joyce believes demons whisper in our ear, "what are you going to do?"  I certainly have heard this too many times to count.  Well meaning friends ask in crisis, "what are you going to do?!"  God wants us to be responsible of course and He leads us to do something just at the right time.  Sometimes He even calls us to do nothing!  I am not referring to those times.  I am talking about the anxious whispers.  I know the difference, but many times the true voice is drown out by worrisome static.  The only way to improve on deciphering the whispers is to dive into getting to know God.  Satan's goal is for us to act on our own without seeking guidance from God.  In Matthew 6:31 God clearly instructs us to not worry so when I do it is sin.  My previous blog entry was on this very topic.

One way I combat worry is to visualize.  When worry grips me I visualize myself kneeling before God's throne.  In all my time doing this I have never seen God's face or His body.  I have seen what I think are His lower leg and ankles although even that is a fuzzy picture.  He is on a throne.  I picture myself kneeling before Him.  There are no angels, trumpets, or lightening.  I am not automatically given answers or some huge new revelation.  It is a humbling experience and I am reminded of something bigger than myself.  It also helps me focus on Him and not what I am worried about.  What I focus on becomes big. 

So when Satan whispers in his hateful voice, "what are you going to do?!"  At that time I place myself before the throne.  I don't even say anything.  God knows there are not words many times that can voice the depth of my worry.  I am silent before Him just basking in His presence.  I am not saying prayer is not important.  The Bible says to pray at all times in all kinds of circumstances (1 Thess. 5:16-18).  What I am saying is that in those times when you can't find the words or just want to be in His presence I go to my place before the throne.  God knows there would be times when we didn't know what to pray.  If you are like me you feel like you have said everything there is to say.  Your mouth feels empty.  God knew there would be days like this (or months or years).

Romans 8:26-27)  In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.  And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

I have placed myself before His throne and recited this verse.  I have said, "God, I am out of words...my burden is so deep..."  Like I said before I visualize myself literally before His thrown.  I have found it is a tremendously peaceful place to be.  The connection with Him is very real and it truly feels like my spirit is praying to the Lord without vocal words

Satan's lies start with a whisper and soon turn into a blasting sound.  At that point we become frantic.  "What am I going to do," we ask in the middle of the night.  Face it everything seems more pressing in the middle of the night.  Our mind is a battlefield and the most intense wars seem to occur between 10 pm and 7 am!  Often times when I would ask my mom how she was doing she would say, "good...really.  Those night wolves were attacking though."  She meant that she getting along well during the sunlight hours and when the moon came out so did the ravenous wolves.

In closing, I encourage you to spend time getting to know the Lord.  It is endlessly rewarding.  I do not mean to memorize Scripture just to memorize it, but really invest time in knowing God.  My visualizing technique is not the only way to go.  You will need to ask God to show you something that can help you.  I am nowhere near perfect and I worry way too much, but I am improving battle by battle.  I keep confessing the sin and keep moving forward.  I am better and quicker at recognizing Satan's hateful whispers and screams and I plan to continue to grow in this area.  I encourage you to do the same!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Something More

Ah worry.  It is something we all deal with.  Some folks even boast about their ability to worry like it makes others think they care more.  Or what about worry martyrs?  They wear worry on their sleeve like a badge of honor.  Some even treat their worry like one of their own children.  I tend to fall somewhere in between all of these titles.  One thing I am getting better about is telling God when I'm worried.  I figure He knows anyway so why hide it.  I also have recognized that worry is disobedience to the Father.  I am not pointing a finger at you because I tell myself the same thing.  It isn't healthy and it isn't Biblical.  I get very annoyed when someone says, "oh don't worry..."  It's like I am going to say, "oh okay, just because you said that I won't be...thanks."  I have found that worry isn't something I automatically switch off and on and it can be a kind of addiction.  So let me share with you some things God gave me yesterday on the topic while I did my study.  Actually, I completed my Bible study at the pool while Eli swam around.  He was the only kid there so the two lifeguards had his full attention.  They loved him...threw him in the water, tried to teach him Spanish, and goofed around with him.  Anyway, I digress...

Matthew 6:25-27)  "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink;  or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?  Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

I have read this verse like a hundred times over the course of my life.  The Word of God is alive and active so each time I read it I am given something new.  Let me clear one thing up before we dig in.  These definitions will come in handy as we complete this study.  Our spirit is where God lives.  It is home to the Holy Spirit if we are believers and followers of Jesus Christ.  Our soul is our mind, will, and emotions.  The soul tell us what we think, what we want, and how we feel.

Allowing Satan to overtake our minds with thought of worry, dread, doubt, and concern is an act of my will.  I allow thoughts in and decide what I will do with them.  Right now is a very hard time for me.  It is one the most difficult times in my life.  I am SO grateful for a supportive husband, loving family, and Godly friends.  I literally feel like there is an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other in regards to my thought life and attitude in how I deal with my challenges.  Basing my decisions and what God will or won't do based on my emotions is acting fleshly.  Romans 8:8 says living a life of the flesh does not please God.  I may be a slow learner, but one thing that I have learned is that I truly want to please God.  The verse below is very direct...not much room for personal interpretation there!

Romans 8:8)  Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

Living according to my flesh is a very superficial way of living.  God is doing so much more than I can fathom on a far deeper level, a Spirit level.  When I live on this level I will have peace regardless of my circumstances.  To be honest, I am yet to reach this level.  I certainly can grow in this, but will never reach perfection this side of heaven.  One thing I am sure of is that I am much farther along than I was even yesterday.  Joyce Meyer says often I am not where I need to be, but thank God I am not where I was.  I love that!  As I live faith to faith I get better and better at realizing what I feel is not always based on God's fact.

If I can't trust my human emotions what can I trust?  Or whom can I trust?  The Spirit.  I firmly believe I miss a great deal of His promptings because my soul is so stirred up.  I often feel like I live out in the wilderness struggling to hear God.  I believe it is because of the static in my soul.  Satan lies and says God doesn't care therefore I need to worry.  Someone has to worry about this I tell myself!  God's doing nothing I say!  I see worry, dread, doubt, etc. as static in my soul.  The noise drowns out the Spirit's messages for me.

There are much greater things than me getting what I want.  Like I said before, I currently am going through some really hard things with my health and I really want to be well yet I know there are greater things for me other than worrying over never getting better.  The time I spend worrying can be spent thanking Him for what I do have and for talking to Him about how I can use my experiences for good and to further His Kingdom.  Is is possible to resist the lies of the devil.  It takes a lot of effort on my part because I have to stand guard.  I have to memorize Scripture and say it even when I don't FEEL like it's true.  I must vocalize His Word so the I can hear the Truth.  I have to stop and talk to God and shut off the world to listen to Him. 

I am determined, with God's help, to overcome worry and dread.  I will not give in nor will I allow Satan to determine my steps.  I am not a quitter.  I do not want to live by my flesh because I truly want to please God.  I want Him to look upon me with smile.  Genesis 50:20 is one of my favorite verses in the Bible.  It assures me that what Satan meant for harm God turned for good.  I don't feel it now, but I choose to see the good.  So when that devil on one shoulder is noisy I will continue to do the next thing to the glory of God.  I claim Galatians 6:9!

Galatians 6:9)  Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Comforting Others

2 Corinthians 1:3-4)  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

Satan has many tricks up his sleeve and all are very dangerous.  Based on a few conversations I have had over the last few days I want to focus on one in particular.  Satan is brilliant at making us feel alone and isolated especially when we are going through a difficult time.  There have been times when I have questioned why I am the only one struggling with this or that.  Everyone else seems to be getting along great.  What is this based on?  My opinion is based on how much people smile or say they are doing great.  I have even thought this while I am sitting in church!  Deep in my heart I know this isn't true and I know Satan is doing a number on me.  It's a battle to remember that. 

I know for certain one reason that God has allowed pain in my life is so I could gain compassion.  Christians are supposed to be witnesses for Christ.  Here is what a witness does NOT do.  They do not tell others what they can and cannot do.  They DO tell others their story and where their hope comes from and are not afraid to share what the Gospel has done for them.  For example, I look back to the time when Mom was dying.  I firmly believed she covered a lot of her struggle up as to not upset or worry Christy, Dad, and myself.  There came a point where she could no longer hide things.  We knew the end was near and we knew the Lord was not going to heal her on this side of heaven.  I can't tell you the pain we experienced watching her suffer.  I think back to that time in my life and truly cannot explain how I made it through.  I can't speak directly for Christy and Dad, but tend to think they would agree with me.  That time was a complete blur and was totally surreal...like we were all part of a movie that ended sadly.  The only thing I can tell people when they ask how we made it through is that God carried us.  He really did.  I don't know why He allowed her to suffer so much or why she had to die.  I have learned since that time that I don't need to know.  What I do know is that He provided the strength we needed.  Dad, Christy, and myself were all going through huge personal struggles too that had nothing to do with Mom's dying.  We had God's strength, each other, and some REALLY good friends.  That is my testimony and I am not afraid to share it.

I know there will come a time when a friend will lose a mother.  I will be able to understand their pain.  I won't be able to give them all the right answers and really a person doesn't need words then.  What they need is to know someone else cares and has endured that type of pain.  Face it, just knowing someone else has experienced something similar helps.  God comforted me and I am supposed to pass it on.  Paul explains this in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.  We should not keep the comfort for ourselves.  There is a fine line between being comforting and trying to one up a person in their pain.  Let's not be know-it-alls!  It sounds weird to say, but a person needs to know you think their pain is special...it's all their and very personal to them.  I hope that makes sense.

Another conversation I had at the gym really made me think too.  One of my best friends in the whole world is going through a challenge within her family.  This causes her great stress and emotion.  What she is going through is very similar to something I had gone through prior to my mom's passing.  My relationship with my mom had many facets and some were well, a bit challenging to say the least.  I can offer my friend Godly wisdom because I have been there.  I have walked her path and I simply get it.  I have also completely blown it so I can offer ideas of what NOT to do!  She can ALWAYS talk to me about what is on her heart.  God has blessed both of us with each other.  I'm so thankful to God that I can pass along some of the things I learned through my time of dealing with trouble. 

Our church is a large church so it is crucial to get involved in a small group if you desire any sort of connection.  This is where you really can build relationships.  Pastor Bobby says we do life together in our small group.  We were talking about this topic at our last meeting which was last Thursday.  Building relationships takes time and effort.  It takes making investments in people's lives.  It takes getting out of our own heads.  If your anything life me you also find that to be a challenge!  Quality of relationships is so important.  Of course having a new friend is different than our old faithfuls, but my point is we need to invest ourselves into them new or old.

We also cannot be afraid to be real with people.  We can be real with those people we deem "safe."  When two people invest into each other they both can be real with each other and get beyond the surface.  I don't have to be stoic all the time.  I hurt.  I get discouraged.  My heart gets heavy at times.  Things bother me and I have a few close friends that I can share those hurts, discouragements, and heavy times with.  They can always share their troubles with me.  I want to be a safe person to them and I want to never be too busy for them.

I feel like this is a blog that may be hard to follow my point.  I'll try and sum it up better than I wrote the above paragraphs.  Satan wants us to feel like we are the person in the world with trouble.  He wants us to feel alone and isolated.  He also wants me to feel like if I had any faith at all I would not be struggling.  Lies!  All lies.  We are not alone.  God carries us through tough times.  I know for a fact that is true.  Part of the reason we go through pain and God comforts us is so we can do the same for someone else.  We have to be safe for people, be real, and genuinely care.  We can't be afraid to share our story and how we made it through or are making it through.  I must remind myself often to get out of my own head and to reach out to another.  Pastor Bobby said Thursday that we have to make investments in people with authentic hearts.